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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Nursery or childminder

30 replies

webster1987 · 31/03/2023 23:48

I recently posted as my DS1 is due to start nursery next week and his settling in sessions have really not gone well as he remains upset the entire time. He is at his happiest at home with mum and dad, and he is very cautious of new environments and new people. He needs a lot of affection and reassurance before feeling more confident to explore independently. We knew nursery was going to be a big challenge for him but now it's a reality, it's a huge worry that it's just not for him.

I have discussed the alternative option or a childminder with DH. We both work within the criminal justice system in a frontline child protection role and so are naturally more heightened to concerns of this nature. I feel that perhaps the environment of a childminder might be better suited to our DS as it's likely to be quieter, more like home life, and more attention/affection. My DH has raised concerns, however, about not being able to effectively risk assess as we have no control over who enters that home environment and no safeguards if the one childminder working alone is not doing the job effectively. The thinking with nursery therefore being that more than one member of staff to increase chances of safeguarding and security measures to prevent any randoms.

None of these settings are without risk, I know that only too well. But I would like to hear other's opinions on this please.

OP posts:
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BernadetteIsMySister · 01/04/2023 07:17

I get so upset by these posts. You have no intention of using a childminder but have just come along to throw mud at childminders.

Funny enough I could name far more nurseries/workers than registered childminders who have been prosecuted for abuse or death of children in their care.

DigleyAndDazey · 01/04/2023 07:08

I don't think you can decide in the abstract as there are good nurseries and bad, bigger and smaller, and the same with childminders. So it depends on the specific ones available to you.

The childminders I looked at did a lot of evil runs etc and the day seemed not very focused on my DC so I've been much happier with the nursery I chose.

MumOf2workOptions · 01/04/2023 07:03

I used a childminder from when I went back to work (around a year old with both) then I introduced some sessions at the school nursery once they'd turned 3 and now I use the same childminder for wraparound care and school holidays.
That combination has worked really well for me plus getting a childminder earlier on meant that when both kids started school I wasn't scrambling around for wraparound care, whereas friends who used day nurseries sometimes have to then use the school clubs (if any are running, round here a lot are reducing hours etc as they aren't viable, as a lot of people wfh pop out to do a school run post COVID) which I feel is a long day in school and a childminder provides a more "home from home"'service and there's less children there so it's more personal.
Someone said to me when my first was a baby about doing this and it was good advice.

PurpleBugz · 01/04/2023 00:00

Well I'm a childminder so I'm biased. I did two weeks in a nursery at one point and quit as to me it was battery farmed children. Unless they can explain why they don't have a waiting list then most good childminders in most areas would be full. Some childminders work with assistants. Childminders actually have less children to staff ratio. If you know a childminder ask them who's good. Sadly I do personally know of a couple local CM i would never recommend but I know if nursery's I'd not recommend either. When visiting CM ask how long the kids they have on roll have been with them. High turnover of kids means unhappy parents.

Oldbutwiser · 31/03/2023 23:53

Mine went to both a child minder and then nursery. I felt mine were happier at the nursery. It takes a little while to settle but they loved it. I also feel they are safer at nursery with more people about.