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Original poster

Should I take toddler to MIL appointment?

163 replies

Kardelen · 13/01/2023 15:52

I have a toddler just under the age of two. Also 36 weeks pregnant. My husband wants me to take MIL to her appointment as none of her other kids are free or for whatever reason won’t be taking.

the issue is however childcare. I can leave the toddler with my parents but they are elderly and I feel bad to burden them for this. The appointment will be at least one hour, and the journey minimum 1.5 hours each way as I will need to pick her up first and it falls to traffic time. She may also ask for me to take her grocery shopping after her appointment as this is not unusual. The issue is though, do I take my very active toddler with me? Which means I may not be able to attend the actual appointment with her, Or do leave him with my parents and feel guilty? I will also be feeling guilty for toddler being in the car seat for that long, but I also can’t physically chase him around outside.

I also don’t want to mention that I will be taking her to my parents as they always get anxious when I’m out alone as I’m on third trimester (first baby came early), and also wondering why her own children are unable to take.

much appreciated

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MintChocCornetto · 13/01/2023 16:05

Your DH can want all he likes, his mum, his responsibility.

Your little one will be so bored in the car & waiting for MIL or being told to be quiet all the time if you go to the appt ☹️

It's not a reasonable ask. It's not like you can quickly drop her off it's an hour away in rush hour. It's a lot when you're very pregnant and with a very small child.

AlisonDonut · 13/01/2023 16:05

So, why are her children unable to take her? I think you are completely mad to be running round at your husband's request but I doubt anything anyone on here can say will make you say no.

Original poster
Kardelen · 13/01/2023 16:05

It’s some sort of assessment I think regarding her job situation. She has been getting sick notes from GP so they want to assess to see if it’s genuine maybe. So I don’t think toddler would be allowed?

i also have work the day before etc and my own appointments so feel a bit exhausted.

OP posts:
crimsonlake · 13/01/2023 16:02

Another one who agrees that your dh should be the one doing this, why is it down to you?

Original poster
Kardelen · 13/01/2023 16:01

By the time I drop her and come home and go back she would be done loong time I think. The location is quite far, plus it’s going to be rush hour time which means sitting in traffic. I don’t know if im stressing out for no reason😅

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 13/01/2023 15:59

Your DH should be taking a day off work to take his mum to the appointment. It’s not okay to leave your kid all day with your elderly parents and it’s absolutely not ok for you to drive three hours, wait around and then be dragged around the supermarket (pharmacy, etc…) Why has he decided that this is your job?

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 15:58

What's the appointment for? Something sensitive where she needs accompanying? If not then obviously you can't go with her with toddler so might as well take him somewhere fun. If yes someone else will have to take her because you have toddler

MelchiorsMistress · 13/01/2023 15:58

If you can drop her off and collect her afterwards then do that, and make it clear to her before you set off that you will need to get straight home. Especially as there’s a high chance the appointment will run late.

Glo1988 · 13/01/2023 15:57

Your husband needs to take time off to do this. Not your responsibility, especially when heavily pregnant and with a 2 year old. Ridiculous

Muchtoomuchtodo · 13/01/2023 15:57

Unless she has a cognitive impairment then you’re doing more than enough taxi-ing her there and back.

in fact hospital transport or a taxi could be another solution…..

Thelondonone · 13/01/2023 15:56

Muchtoomuchtodo · 13/01/2023 15:54

Drop MIL to her appt and pick her up afterwards. Find a local park to entertain dc at while MIL is at her appt

Do this.

Original poster
Kardelen · 13/01/2023 15:55

That’s a brilliant idea actually! Only issue is I don’t know if she expects me to actually attend the appointment with her

OP posts:
Muchtoomuchtodo · 13/01/2023 15:54

Drop MIL to her appt and pick her up afterwards. Find a local park to entertain dc at while MIL is at her appt

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