Hi,
Opinions please as I can't work out if IABU or she is!
We've had a nanny for three years and we're very fond of her. We're also pretty good employers - have given two unasked-for pay rises in that time, give her lots of extra time off, never turn up late or expect her to do anything over and above her contract etc. In return she is a really good nanny for us - kind with the three DC and very conscientious.
The issue has come recently since her son started reception. She is obsessed with not missing anything the school put on for parents and keeps asking for time off at short notice to attend things. I have tried to accommodate wherever I can but the things she is insistent on attending are (to my mind) not that important - eg we've given her time off for her son's Nativity, but she now wants time off for a craft afternoon the school are putting on as well and some kind of singing thing (not a carol concert as we've also agreed to that one!)
I've tried to point out that as a working parent there will always be things she (and I) can't make - you have to prioritise and accept that there will always be tradeoffs. But she has effectively said that if we don't agree to give her time off for these things she will have to call in sick, or leave.
I want to sort this as I understand it's important to her to be present for her son, but I also have a pretty busy job and three children myself that I'm trying to juggle so it's becoming very stressful. Would love to hear how other people who have nannies with their own DC navigate this?