Nanny time off for her DS

I think she probably needs a more flexible job. I managed a teacher who was like this. She was given time off (which I covered) but then kept asking for more time to see her children. It was getting ridiculous. She hadn’t worked in another school before and didn’t realise that I was already being pretty reasonable by giving her paid time off for nativity and sports days. In the end I had to put my foot down, but she felt incredibly hard done by - resigned and said she’d be snapped up by another school. To my knowledge she didn’t get another teaching job.

For school events it needs to be either annual leave or unpaid leave. Or time must be made up.

So what happened @annoyedatotherparents

rhis is the last week of school for most

so did nanny call in sick and attended her sons stuff

There is no pay off / settlement required if employee is refusing to do her contractual duties.

7 weeks leave is above the legal requirements (which is 5.6 including bank holidays) and in the case of nanny contracts it is usual that you choose half and she chooses half to avoid 7 weeks of her choice stretching to 9 if you decide to take a holiday at another time. If you take more holidays than she is contracted for, you can require her to work.

Revisit your contract, reiterate that she is required to be at work when not on preagreed holidays and that the flexibility that you were offering was at your discretion and is no longer working for you.

I would be tempted to talk to ACAS, look at the terms of misconduct in your contract and consider making this formal, citing the threat of using sick leave or resigning as misconduct and unacceptable behaviour, in full knowledge that things may escalate from there and that it may hasten the end of the relationship. As she has been with you more than 2 years, you will have to follow formal procedures.

Maybe have all of this as a back up, in case the initial discussion does not go well... if you are not willing to agree to the terms of your employment contract I will have to make this a formal warning.

I’d be looking into how to remove in accordance with the law. In any future reference it is not derogatory to say why an employee had their contract terminated.

I really wouldn't write anything derogatory about your existing nanny in any reference. It's entirely standard nowadays for 'references' simply to confirm the start and end dates of employment.

There is no come back to anything said in a reference even where the experience is very different which for subsequent employers. Even the wording of any glowing reference is just as likely to be agreed as part of a pay off / settlement so unlikely to mean anything.

Sack her with the notice period and start to look for another nanny. You are a good employer so it won’t be difficult to find another nanny. Your previous nanny can have her threat to take time off sick to attend her child’s school non parent obligatory events in any reference she might ask you for.

This really isn't a redundancy situation

This is an unreasonable demands (time off during school hours for when working as a nanny for a parent with school age children ) and loss of trust (threat to phone in sick order to get those unreasonable days off)

Disciplinary procedure incl written warnings and/or compromise agreement to part amicably as the role is no longer suitable.

Not easy, but very, very simple.

I’m a nanny and agree with others that your nanny is being very unreasonable.
I would have allowed her time for the nativity only.
As a working parent you just don’t get to go to school events.
Using holiday is not acceptable either as usually holiday is taken as whole weeks not individual days as it would make it difficult for the employers to take time from their own job.
I think you need to look at your contract and disciplinary procedures. Even if you want to keep her I would issue a verbal warning for threatening to go off sick. You can’t just ‘get rid ‘ as others have said . After three years you need to follow employment laws.
You can make redundant is job no longer exists and pay redundancy payment . But you wouldn’t be able to employ another nanny. You would need to
offer this nanny any job even with different hours first.
So don’t loose the opportunity to use this threat as a verbal warning .
This will cause the nanny to realise she has to behave more professionally or give notice .
You would find another nanny - you sound generous employers.
The only nanny jobs hard to fill are before and after school jobs. No one wants those. A nanny has to live very close to be worth the two lots of travel.

She is being massively cheeky!
You sound like you are a fair and generous employer, especially as you have allowed her time off for the nativity and Carol service, which would be hugely important as the child has only just started school but a crafting afternoon??? No way! The dad can go if it's that important!

I'd be sitting her down and having a very frank chat with her about how she won't be able to go to every little thing the school invites parents to.

I had to miss my DD's first ever sports day but her dad went instead. It's life.

You’ve been too grateful OP. She’s confused kindness for weakness.

She may be a fab nanny but I fear the trust has gone

there are many other amazing nannies out there

you will find one

yes any mum wants to see their child in their nativity. Which you kindly allowed

but for craft Xmas stuff which I’m going to myself it’s not possible when work days employed

im self employed and work nights so I can do what I like during the day for my daughter

You sound very reasonable & fair OP. I just can’t see this working, most parents that work accept that they can’t go to school for every single event, during the working day, and share between them & GP etc. Good luck.

Come on OP we need an update.

She's decided she's got you over a barrel and is taking the piss. 7 weeks leave and she's told you she's calling in sick for a craft afternoon? Sorry but she's basically holding you hostage. The only way to do this is to refuse. I know it's an utter PITA to look for alternative childcare but she's stepped over reasonable now.

Sorry it is shit.

I work as a nanny and she is totally out of order. One thing that is clear to anyone doing other people's childcare, is that reliability is key, she's taking the piss, I'd get rid for a nanny with no kids.

Sick leave is for when she is sick, not to go to events with her child. After saying that, how could you ever trust her when she's 'sick' again? She's shown that she is willing to pull a sickie. I would point out to her that doing so would be a disciplinary matter, and could result in her dismissal.

You need to let her go if her time off for her child interferes with caring for your children. She has to realize that her annual leave is more than generous, and you can’t accommodate requests for more time off. It would be worth paying her an extra month or two to resolve the situation as quickly as possible under current law. Start looking for a new nanny soonest.

Blimey, if I said I was going to ring in sick if I couldn’t get time off at work then disciplinary proceedings would, quite rightly, be started against me.

She gets 7 weeks - 35 paid days leave per annum and can't make it work, on top of extra days when you are away as a family and she is paid but not expected to work?

I think it's time to point out that she needs to get a grip. Or leave.
She needs to hold leave back for the bonkers amount of school crap that goes on every year like everyone else does.
Or she can cover the gross cost of an agency nanny which was £25 per hr when I last used one 10 yrs ago.

What's she planning on doing for the school holidays?

I think it depends how much you want to keep her. Obviously going to her son's events is important to her. If you are not able to accommodate that (and I can understand if you can't) it's better if you are honest now and say so.
It may well end in her leaving so you need to be sure that is what you want

As @Feef83 said the reply would be, you leave me with no choice and here’s your notice

I would seek legal advice and if you have said no to the date she wanted, nativity or craft, then is ill that day you have every right to fire her

What did she used to do with her child before they started school?

I wouldn't want to be dictated to by my employee.
As a working parent I've had to miss some of my children's things I'd love to have gone to but you can't have it all.