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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Those with au pairs, what's it really like having someone living in your house?

31 replies

JoshandJamie · 29/01/2008 20:12

I seem to be going around in circles with childcare and it is seriously driving me nuts. I know that the best answer (financially and hours wise) would be for us to get an au pair.

My MAJOR problem with having an au pair is the thought of someone else living in my house. I want the freedom to be able to wander around in the nick or argue with my husband - whatever. But having someone living in our house with us, I think will make me feel like we've permanently got house guests.

Sadly we don't have a separate annex - have looked into getting the garage converted but i don't have a spare £20k lying around. So the au pair would have to use one of the spare bedrooms (we have two) and share the kids bathroom. And I just don't see it working.

What I'd love is an au pair type person but who doesn't live in - but that flies in the face of what an au pair is meant to be ie part of the family, learning to speak English etc. Is a live out au pair even an option?

Help. I am going nuts trying to get childcare that works for us.

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nortynamechanger · 30/01/2008 19:36

She is 24.

Lived away from parental home (Marseilles) in Paris for 3 years whilst studying so thought she'd be fine - I was wrong!

One of my best was a 17 yr old Finn, she was great. No attitude, nothing was too much trouble etc.

Current one needs constant reminders to finish tasks (I pay extra for cleaning) or do jobs properly, even though for the first week I went through everything very carefull, she has lists and instructions that no other AP in my home has had.

It is just down to willingness/begrudgement I believe, rather than inability.

HarrietTheSpy · 30/01/2008 17:50

Norty how old is she?

Weegle · 30/01/2008 15:16

Hmmm, difficult one because you DO have to open not only your space but your family life to the au pair if it is going to work.

Most of the time it really doesn't bother me having someone in the house, it can be fantastic. Just occasionally something will bug me - like nipping in to our room to get the upstairs phone. But I could nip those things in the bud if I wanted to. You have to make them part of the family though for it to work and if they don't feel welcome it'll be a nightmare.

nortynamechanger · 30/01/2008 15:06

I've had 2 whom I've really enjoyed having around, DH works away. Having a glass of wine and a chat at the end of a busy day is great.

I've had 2 pita ones though! The current one is a sullen, stroppy, unhelpful girl who is off soon (only been here 3 months). She creeps around the house so quietly she keeps appearing and making me jump, listening on conversations, maybe? Big crush on my DH, definately!

Last week when I was kissing DH goodbye before a week long trip away she stood arms length away the whole time! I wish I'd really gone for it and embarressed her, but was so self conscious it was awful.

Like you no annex, choice of 2 spare beds and a share of the childrens bathroom welcomes any AP in our house.

Finding one is no mean feat either. Good luck!

JennaJ · 30/01/2008 13:21

I had a live out au pair last summer. She was a student on holidays. Fab girl, great english. She did 5 hrs a day + 1 evening babysitting and we paid her £125 + travel...so more than a normal au pair but our house is just too small to have live in.

Worked for us anyway.

Jenna

MightyMoosh · 29/01/2008 20:56

you can try to get a live-out au-pair, I do see them advertised on gumtree so they are out there. but expect to pay more. Perhaps a cleaner who is a parent to plder kids, who could do school runs etc.

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