Back to work after baby - how would you do it?

I agree with all the comments above 100% childminder! Little ones are so emotional and tired when the finish nursery it would be hellish 😢Could you look for one in the direction your husband travels to work so he could do drop offs? That would at least solve the one car problem 😊

Just to add, if you go with a nanny who isn't ofsted registered you can't use the tax free childcare scheme. So whilst it may seem cheaper you'll need to take that into account.

I was going to say what @NameChange30 said. Not just if you have the day off work - if you're ill you'd either have to look after your DC at home, or travel 1.5 hours to childcare.

Where in Berkshire are you....its often worth looking along your commute for example in North Hillingdon fees are in excess of £8 in South its £4 to £5. You may find similar differences bear you

Not family income, it’s based on individual income. As long as each income is under £100k then it’s fine.

Your DH also needs to be part of the childcare solution... as soon as you start taking more than 50% responsibility for drop off and pick up, you and your career will suffer.. yours has already taken a hit by being female, by being in a relationship that might result in children and finally by having had a child.... don't make it worse by being the only person in the relationship who drops one day a fortnight, who limits their work hours by doing 100% of drop off and pick ups and is responsible for days when your child ill.

I understand why you’d be gutted not to use such cheap and good childcare but I would honestly let it go for the sake of it being completely impractical.

A baby is one thing but a toddler would be a veritable nightmare. I’m picturing tantrums because you brought the wrong coloured water bottle or they didn’t get their favourite seat, you’re potty training and they have an accident all over you and the 3 people packed in like sardines around you, they’ve had an overwhelmingly busy day and as soon as they see you they let out every emotion they’ve felt all day on a packed train home.

I recently found out my neighbour’s nanny is only a bit more expensive than nursery - with none of the stress and rush of drop offs. It will cost more than the subsidised nursery but your sanity will thank you a lot for it!

Another advantage of childcare close to home (apart from the obvious convenience all round and short journey time for the child) is that you will sometimes have time off work while the child is in childcare, and for that it would definitely be a massive pain to take them all the way to a workplace nursery!

(And before anyone flames me for putting my child in childcare while I'm not even working... it's only the very occasional day of annual leave and I use the time to get shit done, or when I'm too ill to work but baby is fine so I take a sick day and send baby to nursery. You pay for the childcare whether you use it or not so you might as well use it.)

The nursery at work is an amazing deal but there’s no way I’d do a four hour round trip commute with a toddler regularly. It’s a massive chunk of the day for a child that age to sit still and once they are into the tantrum stage it sounds like hell, particularly if the trains are busy.

I also think that a routine at each nursery/childminder, one with mum, one with dad and a weekend one with both parents is likely to be quite unsettling for such a young child. Obviously needs must and it’s the kind of thing that sometimes needs to happen but if it were me (and budget permitted) I’d put DC into just one childcare setting at home and leave it at that.

It’s not the commute to get to them that is the issue-my commute is an hour in office days. But I don’t want to do that hour with an ill child in tow.

One of us is usually WFH most days, so in reality we are usually there in half an hour. But I wouldn’t want to be transporting an ill child by lengthy tube and train.

Madness to even consider taking DC on your commute.
What about nursery near/ en route to DHs work on the two days you're in office? Or even for all 4 days you're considering getting childcare? 2 different childcare settings is a lot for baby to settle into when you go back to work imo.

Nannies can work out cheaper if you have two in full time childcare. So if you have two dc under three, and childcare is 60 per day, per dc, that's about 25k for a four day week, year round.

If Nanny rates are similar, wouldn't you pay that instead and not have to do drop/collect/kids meals/kids laundry etc?

Seems very cheap but it'll be so tough commuting that distance with a baby/toddler. Too much for them to sit still and behave.
I'd get a nanny or local childminder even if it's more expensive. You don't want to be dealing with an overtired, grumpy child!!

There is no good option here; nurseries and childminders often call when your child is unwell, and have a "three strikes and you're out" rule with loose nappies ... ad you simply cannot have a parent so far away... or dragging a poorly baby home on a bike and train.

How far is your DH's commute? Can he commit to all the drop off and pick ups from Childminder?

If you are considering biking the baby in London, could you not instead bike the baby to the childminder (to avoid the 30 min walk)?

Why do you HAVE to go back FT - is there absolutely no PT discussion to be had?

Local minder for 5 days (ask around if anyone is interested in starting minding)
Work 5 days as otherwise you will have really long days (I think you mean to work 10 days in 9)
Dh drops DB to minder on his way to work, you collect if you are wfh (maybe a bike+ baby carrier if roads are decent)

The dad could collect.

A lot of people work a long commute away from their nursery/childminder. If my DC is sick then we have over an hour commute to get her. It's just how it is for a lot of people so don't worry too much about that.

My childminder (London) is £6 an hour but as your work hours are really flexible you could make the most of that to minimise the hours of childcare you need and this would bring the cost down. We stagger drop off and pick up so we only pay for 7 hours a day of childcare despite us both working 60 hours a week with over an hour commute each way on the days we are in the office.

@ZoChan it's if individual income is over 100k, not household income - and that's net adjusted income so for most people they'd need a wage substantially over that to not be eligible.

The commute would be too much for a little one, especially after a full day in nursery. If anything like mine, would fall asleep in the way home and then be up all hours. What if there were delays, especially in the winter with a little one.

Sorry, I know this probably doesn't help you x

It’s not £100k household income, you can have £99k each, just as long as neither earns over £100k.

I did a daily commute into London with a baby/toddler - one train 20-25 mins plus a walk, travelling around 7:30 am for 3 years. I absolutely wouldn't have been able to do the tube. (I did have to on occasion- it was a nightmare)

It worked for us because I was in the office 4 days a week and couldn't find somewhere close to home which would fit my hours, but it was very hard. Main problems I found

were getting space with a pushchair in rush hour, (doesn't sound like that would be such an issue for you)

keeping toddler amused / happy to avoid tantruming especially if you're on a busy train, I had books, snacks, played 100s of games of eye spy - it can be intense parenting.

Having no separation between home and work - no down time to get into work mode/mindset

If the trains were ever late /cancelled it was a nightmare stuck a packed train station with a pushchair.

That said the advantages for me were not having to rush out the door or risk being late for nursery and I felt that I got to spend more time with DD - but in hindsight I wonder how I did it.

I have also done a nursery that required a drive for my other DD which was also annoying, but on balance if you can make pick-up drop off hours and get into work, I'd maybe be inclined to do that. Could you attempt the nursery in London then up you child minder days if it's awful?

If family income is under £100k x