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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

No grandparents for childcare!

235 replies

torbs · 21/09/2022 12:49

Hi everyone :)

This is my first thread here.

My partner and I are hoping to start a family soon.

We are both from the South of England, but moved to the North a few years ago, where we bought our first home.

Unfortunately, both of our parents still live down south - making childcare prospects difficult!

What did those of you who didn't have parents/grandparents/family as an option for free childcare do?!

Thanks for your time and I look forward to your replies.

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Beekindbeehumble · 21/09/2022 12:58

Paid for it. No free childcare here!

gogohmm · 21/09/2022 12:58

never lived on same continent when mine were small. You manage yourselves or pay

MintJulia · 21/09/2022 12:58

I'm a single mum. All grandparents were dead and ds's dad morphed into 1950s man and decided childcare was 'woman's work.

I found a childminder close to my work. Dropped ds off on way to work. Collected on the way home. It cost about 30% of my net income.
Did that from end of maternity leave until ds was 4 and went to school.

Then worked close to school. Dropped ds off at 8.45. In work by 9ish. Left work at 5.30, collected ds from after school club. Cost considerably less.

Shared holiday cover with two other single mums. We had 15 weeks annual leave between us to cover 13 weeks school holidays.'

mrsm43s · 21/09/2022 12:57

Most people (regardless of whether they live close to grandparents) pay for nursery or childminder. For most, 30 hours free childcare kicks in 3. So it's only from 9/12 months(mat leave) until 3 that you pay full time childcare. This needs to be budgeted for as part of the process of planning a family. If your income is low, you might get extra help from benefits, there are calculators online that will give you an idea of what you might be entitled to..

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/09/2022 12:57

Is this an actually question???!
bloody hell you pay for it!!!!

Figgygal · 21/09/2022 12:56

Paid approx £80k in nursery fees over 8/9 years until both in school

BuffaloCauliflower · 21/09/2022 12:56

Pay a childminder. What else would you do? Nursery, childminder, nanny, or a parent stays home. Those are your options.

JazzTheDog · 21/09/2022 12:56

Worked back to back (DH did days, I did nights/weekends) then paid for childcare when my job changed.

BigWheels · 21/09/2022 12:56

Before getting pregnat I deliberately applied for jobs at companies with a good repuation for treating working parents well. And somewhere very close to home to reduce the need for childcare.

I took 18 months maternity leave then went back part time so that we didnt need so much childcare. The employer has been supportive throughout and has been very flexible about giving me the leave I need to cover times when there is no childcare and has been willing to approve leave on short notive or give me the option to make up hours in the evening if I have to leave early to collect a sick child from school. Having an understanding employer makes a massive difference.

WildfellAnne · 21/09/2022 12:56

I don’t know anyone who had grandparents available for childcare. Both my and DH’s parents lived too far away, and then DH’s parents got ill and died quite quickly. I used a childminder, and then later a nursery part-time.

anotherdayanotherpathlesstravelled · 21/09/2022 12:55

🍿

Babyenroute · 21/09/2022 12:55

I never even considered using grandparents for childcare, even though they don't work anymore. They are enjoying the freedom of their retirement as they should be. We have enrolled our future baby in ft nursery while we are at work.

Scoundrella · 21/09/2022 12:54

Pay for it …

I was a single mum for years before meeting DH and didn’t live near my family. I relied on breakfast club, childminder and would use a baby sitting agency.

occasionally my best friend would offer to have ds1 if she had free time and I had a very important work event but otherwise you pay for it …

RunnyPaint · 21/09/2022 12:54

Yes, we paid for childcare so we could work. It's really not unusual, and people with willing family nearby are very lucky!

Talipesmum · 21/09/2022 12:54

Paid for full time childminders until one of us went down to 60% and then paid for childminders for 3 days per week.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 21/09/2022 12:54

Is this a joke?

marmiteadict · 21/09/2022 12:54

Paid for nursery for DS1 and then when DS2 was born became a SAHM.

I know it seems hard when others have grandparents on their doorstep but plenty of grandparents have their own lives and have no wish to commit to regular childcare.

You are not alone

Alarae · 21/09/2022 12:54

No grandparents/family live within 2 hours of us.

We pay a childminder who is amazing with our daughter. Probably better at teaching her the world than I am!

Belladonnamama · 21/09/2022 12:53

I'm not one of the lucky ones with grandparents that helped out. I gave up my job to be a SAHM for a few years.

Bunnyfuller · 21/09/2022 12:53

Really?!

Moveonswiftlyplease · 21/09/2022 12:53

All surviving grandparents live near us. We never use them for childcare.

I only know 1 family who use the grandparents for childcare and they pay them.

NancyVicious · 21/09/2022 12:53

Paid for nursery whilst working. Never went anywhere socially until they were older

rogueone · 21/09/2022 12:52

is this a joke? Most adults dont factor in using there parents for childcare when planning a family. Its a big expectation. I have always paid for childcare as do most of my friends and family.

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 21/09/2022 12:52

We planned carefully so we can manage.

GiantTortoise · 21/09/2022 12:52

I was a SAHM until the youngest started school, then used breakfast club and after school club.

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