No grandparents for childcare!

You just pay for it? Nursery, nanny or childminder. Depending on your preference.

Wind 'em up and watch them go :)

Pay for it

We all live very close to each other so a mix of grandparents and babysitter works for us

We paid an extortionate amount for a private nursery (almost my full wage) which ultimately paid off as I kept my working history and have been promoted since. We also knew before starting a family that this would be the case so planned for it.

I think everyone has their challenges whatever they do. It's hard, and costly.

Grandparents can be amazing. But can also bring challenges.

Demand they move closer to you OP! How dare they not provide free childcare.

Poor OP 😄 This thread is a good example of how people’s expectations differ.

My MIL worked ft and my parents had no interest when my first baby was born. Second baby we lived abroad. It’s very common to use paid childcare, which is not to say it isn’t horrible expensive. Here’s to all the grandparents helping out with childcare.

Do what everyone else does. Pay for it. My parents have never once offered to have my DS, even though both are retired.

Yeah same, I don’t know many people who don’t have some form of family help. I know some, but the vast majority do; if OP is in the same situation then no wonder she assumed it was an option for most. My mum announced before I was even TTC that she was dropping a day at work to look after my hypothetical children 😅

Poor OP is probably hiding in a corner somewhere shielded behind a cushion and will never return.

Pay for it just like everyone else.

Grand parents are not free child minders. My mind boogles when people say this.

Erm what everyone else does?

If you aren't aware that people don't have free childcare on tap are you sure you actually know what having a child involves

Do you live in some kind of commune/community where nurseries, childminders, nannies etc don't exist?

Full time nursery here costs £1200 a month, even factoring in the Governments tax free 20%. Is everyone on this thread really paying out that amount every month? And if you are does that mean you actually had £1200 just hanging around before you had kids?

Our nursery bill was £1,400 a month for a bit when both DDs were there (that was for two children, three days per week and included a sibling discount.) It was essentially my entire wage and was a lot more than our mortgage. It's eye watering but was totally worth it in the long run as I stayed in my career, kept up pension contributions and had a promotion during that time. Now childcare fees are finally reducing we're in a good financial position as we're used to not having that money so can direct it elsewhere. I wouldn't have thought we could afford it before I had DDs but we managed. We haven't had a foreign holiday since before we had children and we eat beans on toast a lot for dinner because it's cheap but we made it work.

I reduced my hours to exactly half of my full time hours. And then used my entire salary to pay for childcare. I will continue to work fewer hours even though my children are at school, otherwise holidays would be impossible. But I like my job, it helps my sanity, my children adored nursery and they have thrived. It's frustrating and tiring at times but we don't have an option of family. We have had a single night away ourselves in 7 years.

I would find it incredibly rude if there was an entitled expectation I would provide free childcare for GC. I do have a life !

This sounds like a journalist to me.

Regardless, I’ll bite - not having the slightest prospect of family childcare (and I wouldn’t have expected it even if it was a possibility for us) we paid for preschool and then school nursery and now that DC is at school I am a SAHM.

Childminder, reduction of hours, building up a network of friends who can do childcare favours for one another.

Pay for it. And be very organised- parents evenings etc Work as a team - we both made the sacrifices with work - pick up drop offs.

My children are 11 and 14. Until last year our nearest parent/grandparent was 150 miles away. We've paid for every second of childcare we've ever had. 6 years ago (with the youngest went to school) one salary just about broke even; we both continued working to maintain pension, cars, a foothold. We both work in construction and travel a lot, it wasn't easy, but it's what we had to do. I now manage someone who is in the same position as we were - childcare costs have accelerated so much that she no longer breaks even, but sees this as an investment in her family's future. Someone I know with twins took out a loan!

It's completely the norm where I come from. Not entitled. Just family helping family.

I am 67 and recently retired, reasonably healthy with some arthritis and a dodgy shoulder! Much as I adore my grandchildren there is no way I would have the stamina to look after them full time. I had my darling grandaughter one afternoon until recently. She was three and although I loved her company it was hard work and the responsibility felt enormous. I would have her to play at the drop of a hat, but full time might be too much. You sound very entitled. People need to factor in that grandparents do not necessarily have the energy required for full time childcare. Of course someone in their 50s would probably be more energetic!

Paid for it until time for school - no free childcare back in the day.

Did you and your boyfriend discuss with the grandparents whether, had you wanted to live near them instead of moving away, they would be willing to offer free childcare?

never go out of an evening! stay at home mostly.