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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

No grandparents for childcare!

235 replies

torbs · 21/09/2022 12:49

Hi everyone :)

This is my first thread here.

My partner and I are hoping to start a family soon.

We are both from the South of England, but moved to the North a few years ago, where we bought our first home.

Unfortunately, both of our parents still live down south - making childcare prospects difficult!

What did those of you who didn't have parents/grandparents/family as an option for free childcare do?!

Thanks for your time and I look forward to your replies.

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Pebble55 · 21/09/2022 14:13

I work my bollocks off so that we can pay for childcare. Don't assume the grandparents will do anything. They say "ooh we'd love to babysit" but they forget how full-on young children are. Once the child is there they realise they don't want to do anything other than take photos and have a 30 second cuddle then give the child back. Just assume they'll do nothing and plan accordingly.

Cityzen74 · 21/09/2022 14:13

We sent him to nursery

loislovesstewie · 21/09/2022 14:12

And please remember that the state pension doesn't kick in until 66, a lot of women will already retire with not much of a pension and have to work as long as possible, so providing childcare becomes very problematic.

Overthisnow98 · 21/09/2022 14:11

We have 3 grandparents and 6 aunts and uncles within 20 mins of us , not one has ever looked after our kid . Ever. Not even babysitting in the evening. Some people get lucky with parents who are retired and like children. Ours still work and have much better things to do. You just have to budget for it . Or do what I did and give up on a social life and work from home that works too !

LovePoppy · 21/09/2022 14:10

Paid for it.

grandparents all live nearby. They had their kids. They do some evenings occasionally, but full time child care was our job

GnomeDePlume · 21/09/2022 14:10

For DD1 we had an excellent childminder. DD started at 6 weeks old and stayed with her until she was 3 and then went to nursery.

DS went to a less good childminder for about a year. Not bad but not as good as the gold standard we had enjoyed with DD1's childminder.

When DD2 was born DH became SAHP.

StaunchMomma · 21/09/2022 14:09

Neither I nor any of my friends use grandparents for childcare except babysitting on the odd night out.

You'll have to pay for childcare, which is pretty much the norm, round here anyway.

EmGB87 · 21/09/2022 14:08

Sorry month*, not year

EmGB87 · 21/09/2022 14:07

ReeseWitherfork · 21/09/2022 13:32

£1200 x 12 = £14400 a year
Say 2.5 years each between mat leave and free hours = £36,000
x 2 kids = £72,000….

You saved £72k for childcare before you had kids?! Even if you saved half that’s (not sure what the word is?) impressive?

We’re not too bad at saving but that’s not a sum of money that would be feasible on our wages.

Show quote history

Sorry I maybe confused this. So we paid £1200 a year for 1 child for 2 years of nursery. This was out of our wage. Then second child came along and we now have 1 year where both of them are in nursery (saved for this). Next year eldest will go to school so that will leave just 1 x £1200 a month which again will come out of wage. We saved for the 1 year when both of them are in. It’s bloody tight but just manageable for us.

properdoughnut · 21/09/2022 14:05

Pay for it? Go part time? I think that's your options really.

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/09/2022 14:05

BeyondMyWits · 21/09/2022 13:55

Sacrificed my career . (But I was married and owned my own house)

@BeyondMyWits

why did you do that?

Aus84 · 21/09/2022 14:04

If free childcare is what you are concerned about when thinking of starting a family I would suggest you are not ready to have children yet.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 21/09/2022 14:04

Paid

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/09/2022 14:04

@torbs

lol

what do you think they do op?!

they pay for it

as will you if you decide to have a kid

Quveas · 21/09/2022 14:03

It's irrelevant where your parents live - there can never be an expectation of childcare. If it is offered, that's lovely. But it isn't an entitlement. Your parents may have other priorities than raising another generation of children. They have already done their "share". There is no reason to expect them to want to do it again.

loislovesstewie · 21/09/2022 14:03

Nursery /childminder /breakfast club/after school club. I'm always astonished that people expect grandparents to do full time child care when they have done that already and might want to do something for themselves.

Cheerybigbottom · 21/09/2022 14:02

Worked weekends only until school age (night shift or backshift) and went part time when they were in school (DH always full time and often a side job as well). After school club and breakfast club as required.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 21/09/2022 14:01

We pay for childcare.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 21/09/2022 14:00

Pay for it.

User6447482684755 · 21/09/2022 13:58

My parents live very locally as do the in laws and never done childcare. I've never expected them to either.

nurseries, childminders...

I find it baffling how some people think they are entitled to free childcare from their parents. Great if they can and want to help, but they aren't obliged.

passport123 · 21/09/2022 13:58

You pay for childcare and/or change work patterns. If both of you can do 3 days/week you only need to find one day childcare, etc.

idonotmind · 21/09/2022 13:58

Pay the money

It's tough

BeyondMyWits · 21/09/2022 13:55

Sacrificed my career . (But I was married and owned my own house)

JudgeJ · 21/09/2022 13:55

Cosycover · 21/09/2022 13:43

It's completely the norm where I come from. Not entitled. Just family helping family.

Show quote history

Where I come from it would be considered family using family!

Museya15 · 21/09/2022 13:55

Pay for it and when it got too tough financially we moved to be nearer my dad who was willing to pick my daughter up from school three days a week. It has saved us a fortune believe it or not.

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