Grandparents and routine

I get the waking in the morning on time...siblings with school runs would havd to. At her age she should be transitioning to one nap a day just before or after lunch time...so may need an early lunch.
It's not unusual for them to then need a 2 hour nap that should see them to bed time.
As a childminder I am not allowed to prevent a child from sleeping as it is against their human rights and Ofsted wouldng bd happy I'd try my best to get that early nap but if they fell asleep in a car, pushchair or playing then that's what they need.
There is evidence that for normally developing children a good nap encourages night time sleep but many expect a tiered child to go quiet whereas the more tiered they get the louder and more active they become bouncing off the walls is this what your granddaughter is like in the evening?

go to the beach. Take buggy. Nap in buggy in shade on beach

then won’t fall asleep on way home

You mean morning naps

all children I’ve nannies for and my own dd slept 1-3 ro least 3 often 4yrs and then I did down /stop due to starting school birthday dependant

I like naps 9/10 and 1/3 roughly

always wake by 3

at 15mth I would expect one nap 1-3

bir while they get used to that that 11/1 or wake then lunch

then 1130 lunch sleep 12

stx etx while getting used to afternoon nap being later

Wow, precious first born, by any chance??

My brother and his wife tried this when my parents were going to look after their first, I think they realised that it wasn't going to happen and suddenly my brother packed his job in to look after her.... Funnily enough they were much more relaxed about their second 😂

Our nursery (and the ones we viewed) follow the baby's own routine for naps up until two years old, so the babies will be put down and woken according to the parents' wishes.

I accepted from the start that my mum was doing us a huge favour with a days childcare and what happened happened re naps and bedtime. Luckily I was never very PFB and we just rolled with DCs non existent sleep. A single day a week saves us over £200 a month (x2 dc for ~3 years each), as well as a regular sleep over. I'm more than willing to accept a later bedtime for that.

I think at 15m the parents need to relax, the dc can't tell time and sometimes they won't sleep at the exact minute the parents declare as bedtime. Naps will naturally reduce anyway so that schedule is going to change.

They do know a nursery wouldn't pander to that shit don't they?

I would be annoyed with rules so restrictive you can’t do normal days out with her. Do they not take her anywhere when not working?

Yet the GP’s doing childcare one day a week is saving the parents how many ££s?

If you want cast iron rules hire a nanny.

It's very normal to arrange days around naps, lots of parents of small children do so. Not everyone does, but not every child is flexible.

Working with small children is so bloody relentless, I can understand their frustration if every week they have a challenging evening or disrupted sleep after dgc has been at yours. It's just one day a week, is it such a big deal to run that day around the nap. There's even two of you so one can take dgc and one walk the dogs etc.

Sorry didn’t mean to quote!

I’d tell them she napped at the permitted time —and to unclench—

But if they carry on they can find paid childcare as you are doing them a big favour

My 22 month gd has just one nap a day with us now. It is usually for about 1.5 hours and I can usually get her to sleep if I take her for a walk in her buggy. The thing is, she loves being with us and it seems she doesn’t want to waste precious time sleeping! I appreciate that a late, long nap would mean she would be late going to bed so sometimes, as a last resort I pop her in her in her car seat and take her for a quick trip around the block. It usually works quite quickly. If she doesn’t have a nap she could very well fall asleep on her way home or may be too tired to eat her tea. I have also gently roused her once she has had a decent nap by playing some gentle music she recognises so she comes around gently without being grouchy.

Depending on what dgd did the previous day, what time she went to bed and got up, she varies as to how tired she is and when she needs a nap. Also, if she has a cold she gets tired more quickly. Just like us all. The parents need to be more realistic but they probably won’t realise this until later on and certainly won’t like it pointed out to them! It’s a difficult one.

Fortunately, my dgc’s parents are not critical and realise we are doing our best to please everyone but not to the detriment of dgd. OP I do think your dgc’s parents are being very unreasonable. They are lucky to have your care and should appreciate that you are doing your best. It’s all very well issuing strict instructions but I bet they don’t find it easy to stick to the same rules. As others have said, ask them how they enforce their rules at home. Maybe gently suggest that if they feel you are not complying with their strict rules perhaps dgc would be better off at a nursery or with a childminder. Coupled with telling them how much you enjoy having dgc of course. The thought of paying for childcare as supposed to being with loving, caring and trustworthy grandparents may focus their minds a little!

I think you need to trust the parents a bit. I had one that was very flexible and one that very much wasn't.

Ask what they want you to do to get her over and what helps at home when it's a tricky day. Are you doing the same as them in terms of darkness, rocking, white noise etc?

The baby may well be ready to drop a nap but it sounds like relations might be a bit fraught with respect to sleep so I wouldn't be the one to suggest it.

I know the common view on MN is that if a grandparent is providing free childcare they can do as they wish, but I don't fully agree and I think anyone doing childcare with a baby needs to at least try with things like routines. Remember, you're not the one who'll pay with terrible overnight sleep!

I would be fair but firm with the parents - that you love looking after your grandchild but will only continue after September if they give you the freedom to set your own schedule with them and make everyday decisions whilst they are in your care. If they are not happy you completely understand if they would rather use a nursery

Do you know why they want such a strict routine?

I had a strict routine because I had a child who did not sleep. Full stop. At all.

so for me routine was literally my lifeline because it meant that if sleep was minimal in the day (would only sleep for about 40 minutes anyway) the 3 or 4 hours sleep my child had at night meant that at work the next day, with coffee I could cope.
If routine was changed then it meant that I would need to survive on maybe 2 hours sleep, the rest was broken sleep of 20 minutes here and there then up at 4am for the day.
It was routine to survive and out of utter utter desperation.
They wouldn’t need to deal with the consequences of letting them have another 30 minutes nap in the day.

Might help if you understood the reasoning behind it.

If they are complaining at you I'd ask them to make alternative arrangements.

God I hated those strict routines type of parent. Mine did all those routines but when ready to - much easier and less stress

The point is to make it probable she will go to bed st night time and have an afternoon sleep when with her DP. If you let her lie she won't do this.
I'm sure you can tell if she's exhausted and needs a bit extra or it's getting on and near her next sleep time.
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Are they still on 2 naps? Definitely need to drop down to one - that'll help at bedtime!

Tell them to hire a nanny if they want to be able to issue instructions…:

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