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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

How hard is it once they're at school?

61 replies

lamby12 · 08/07/2022 15:39

I've posted on AIBU the wider indecisiveness over whether or not to move closer to my parents, but one of the main things that feeds into the decision is childcare.

People keep saying that things gets easier as they get older and once they're at school we won't feel the benefit of being close to parents so we may as well just stay put. I'm not so sure, I feel like 7am-6pm nursery is surely easier than working round school hours (DC aren't actually there that long but that's the opening hours..!)

In a nutshell, trying to decide whether to move. Houses near my parents are more expensive, so less house for more money. But they are really keen to help with childcare more and we have no support here. At current they are 1.5hrs away but I drive there at least once a week, or my mum comes here. She picks up all emergencies despite the distance. I'm keen to move because I feel isolated and struggle with no childcare support nearby, but some saying just stick it out til school kicks in. The main reason to stay put is financial.

Is it easier then??

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Original poster
lamby12 · 08/07/2022 18:01

@AnotherEmma yes good point, obviously i know the school holidays is another thing but I hadn't even really thought into it that much. How do people do it?!

I don't work full time at the moment but would like to return to that eventually... at the moment I work fewer longer days, which is good for nursery but won't work for school.

I would love them to have a really close relationship. I will find it difficult it we stay and MIL moves to us, which she will, when DH has never been interested in being close to family. And let's face it I'll be with her all the time, not him as he'll be working. She's lovely, but I'd feel sad it wasn't my mum!

OP posts:
shrugitoffonemoretime · 08/07/2022 17:43

lamby12 · 08/07/2022 17:13

Thanks for the replies!

What sort of cost are breakfast/after school clubs? I'd imagine it varies but it would be useful to get ideas to help factor in the more expensive area vs less cost on wrap around care. I should say the area is also a lot nicer!

It can still work out around £350 plus a month for before/after school but ours provides an evening meal and breakfast

AnotherEmma · 08/07/2022 17:41

Also, it's not just about finances and practicalities. If you get on with your parents and you want them to have a good relationship with your children, that's got to be an important factor.

AnotherEmma · 08/07/2022 17:39

I'd move if I were you, I would love to have my parents closer to help with childcare. I have two young children, one in primary school and one at nursery. The school holidays are really tricky so if your parents would be willing to help for a decent chunk of the holidays that would be invaluable IMO. Holiday clubs exist but I think it depends on the child, at the younger end of school age I think it can be hard, and perhaps for older ones too.
Also, my DC's school has breakfast club and after school club that are never over subscribed so I can always book them when needed, but I'm aware that we're lucky and not all schools have wraparound care - or if they do they don't always have space.

MeridianGrey · 08/07/2022 17:33

You’d need to contact your local school to see if they even have wrap around care and how much it costs. The other option is a local childminder but tbh I would make the move as it sounds like you are close to your parents.

Original poster
lamby12 · 08/07/2022 17:13

Thanks for the replies!

What sort of cost are breakfast/after school clubs? I'd imagine it varies but it would be useful to get ideas to help factor in the more expensive area vs less cost on wrap around care. I should say the area is also a lot nicer!

OP posts:
Woulditbeworth · 08/07/2022 16:01

I agree with PP, if you are working, primary school is much harder.

We saved money in nursery fees but on a practical level, it makes a huge different if you have people around you who can help with school pick ups!

DasGirl · 08/07/2022 15:57

It depends how much you'll need them for regular childcare.

What would you do if you stayed put? Childminder? After school club?
Plenty of families manage without family nearby.

It's definitely more convenient being very local to grandparents but there's other things to weigh up. Do you want to move? What about work options?

You'd need to work out if childcare would be more or less expensive than your moving costs and fact you'd be moving to more expensive area.

Mine are teens now but we were over an hour away from my parents and they were still able to get here for a sick child if I rang them at 7am. One of us would just need to go into work a little late.

They've always covered some of the holidays too. I'd take DC through on a Sunday and they'd bring them back on the Wednesday (I work part time).
We used a Childminder for after school.
My childminder always covered some of the summer holidays too,

HairyScaryMonster · 08/07/2022 15:56

If you both work ft it would be worth moving closer in my opinion. The school holidays are looong and it's a slog for a 5yo to do after school club or childminder every day. There's also lots of sports days and other parental involvement during the day where having involved grandparents would help.

EspeciallyDeIighted · 08/07/2022 15:45

We found it far harder once school started, especially in the period with one at school and one still at nursery. Then there's the holidays. Our wraparound was (I think, it was years ago) 8 till 5.15 and just couldn't get back on time, we had to rely on parents and both of us working flexibly.

DelurkingAJ · 08/07/2022 15:42

It’s harder, frankly, unless you have the right childcare. After all, school finishes long before nursery would shut. We have a childminder we pay as though the DC we’re with her FT…so our childcare is verging on bulletproof but is expensive. Anything else leads to stress beyond belief as far as I can see. But we’re very lucky to be able to afford it all.

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