How hard is it once they're at school?

Issues with primary school are:

1. Inset days. There may or may not be childcare availability on those days

1. Holiday childcare when child is at school but not yet 5. Worst for late August Birthdays as there's a whole year in the gap. Most providers can only offer very short sessions for U5s. There's also less choice in the first couple of years...

1. Random early finishes at the end of term. Don't necessarily line up with wraparound providers...

I've found it harder with them at school, with nursery there is very little expectation of you getting involved. School comes with all sorts of things you are invited to - not just the obvious school plays, but harvest festivals, parades on dress up days, sessions to learn about how they teach something, sessions to look at their books.... Other parents are there do mine expect theirs to be too. If you have family locally it helps, I see a lot of grandparents covering daytime events.

Your mum sounds fantastic. I'd do it in a heartbeat if I were you.

It gets slightly less expensive, but a bit more logistically challenging.

Nursery gave DD a hot tea every day, afterschool care only give them a snack.
Nursey ran 50/51 weeks of the year; with DD in primary school every school holiday (there are 6 throughout the year) I have to arrange childcare/clubs - there's plenty of choice, but you have to remember to book and pay (and take their opinion into account as they get older) - and the holiday clubs are in different locations/run for different hours to the before/afterschool care so you have to change your routine for the holiday weeks.

Schools seem to be very geared around there being at least one non-working parent, e.g. uniform is sold by the PTA and you collect at 3.30pm on a Friday.
As DD has got older (she's Y5) there are more school events, e.g. "your daughter has been selected to participate in an inter-schools choir - please pick her up at 3.30pm take her to where the event's taking place and collect her again at 4.30pm". Yes, we could just say 'it's not possible' but I don't want DD to miss out.

That said, you get to know other parents and can share lifts etc. between you.

We've managed and we don't have any family at all nearby. But you do need to be organised and, ideally, have a flexible employer.

Honestly, the nursery years were hardest financially but Primary years are tricky.
I have 5 weeks leave and there are 13 weeks school hols, plus 5 inset days
I paid for holiday clubs and endless work arounds but I would have loved to be able to drop my kids round my parents during the holidays. And so would they.

Being near parents can be super helpful when kids are at school (if parents are available during the day) because they can do pick ups if needs be. We certainly used ours a bit when the kids were younger.

Wraparound childcare can be difficult if there's no breakfast/after school club or if either of those are oversubscribed - it's very hard to find a reliable after school nanny as, understandably, they're always looking for more hours so, IME, you find yourself getting thrown over if they get another shift at their other day job, or are offered a full time role. Unless you find someone who is consciously up for a PT role (eg, semi-retired, or bringing their own child with), you'll be spending a lot of time sourcing new after school nannies.

It’s really hard to find holiday clubs open long enough to cover a full working day where I am. So would suggest researching what’s available thoroughly.

here breakfast club is £4.25, breakfast included, and after school club is £10 til 6pm, snack included.

I have to send my DC to holiday club in a different primary school as his school doesn’t have one. That’s £130 per week and it’s only open for 4 weeks of the summer holidays. So that still leaves 9 weeks of holidays to cover!

how do people do it: flexible working, wfh, using all your annual leave to cover holidays, holiday camps!

id be cautious because you read so many threads where grandparents promise childcare but when faced with the reality don’t step up.

There are afterschool clubs, nurseries that have childcare for primary age kids, childminders etc. You can manage with these if you do 'normal' hours.
Despite what you say you do have help from your Mum occasionally. Would she be willing to help out if you were stuck?

It really depends on your school. Ours has wraparound and it's run in house and is very flexible. It's about £20/day for both breakfast and after-school club but you can use tax free childcare account to pay it. With a couple of weeks of holiday club we can deal with the rest of the school holidays.

One option you might have is that your parents could come and stay during school holidays or your kids could go there

As long as there is breakfast club / after school club, term-time is not too bad. We pay £15 per child for ASC up until 6pm. However we would struggle to fit in homework if dc were there 5 days a week, they're pretty knackered towards the end of term.

Holiday clubs are also fine although rarely in a convenient location for your carefully constructed term time house of cards. The ASC provider does do 8-6 but we usually use a mixture of cheaper 10-4 clubs (£25 per dc) and more expensive 8.30-5.30 clubs (£35 per dc)

The things that you can't really throw money at:
Inset days (no clubs)
Sports days, nativity, assembly - expect 1 per term and be grateful if they are less frequent!

How old are your parents OP, are they keen to do regular childcare, do they holiday a lot?

I would also move. Not necessarily for regular childcare, but those ad-hoc situations where there's a play / sports day/ illness / early pick up required and you can't make it.

If you're going to need breakfast / after school club, you need to factor that into your decision about schools - not every school has it, the hours won't be the same at every school and in my DCs school, it was always massively over subscribed. Its a couple of years since we've used it - breakfast club was £9 per child (open from 7.30am) and ASC was £13 I think upto 5.30pm and £16 if you used it until 6.30pm. We eventually had an after school nanny (a lovely pensioner who was the grandma of a friend of a friend) but people willing to do just a couple of hours a day are like gold-dust.

External holiday clubs (i.e. not at school) are generally from 9-3pm here, about £35-40 a day, more reasonable if you commit for the whole week (say £150 for the week) but are generally centred around sport (so there'll be a football one, hockey / tennis etc) - great if your child is sport. Most schools will have one too - whilst they do trips, its not that great for the children as it feels much like normal school.

If you can break up term time care / holiday care by involving your parents, that would be ideal both financially and for the relationship they'll develop. Also, if they can take on some of the "to do" list - perhaps doing reading, giving them dinner so you can just go straight into the bedtime routine, that will be brilliant.

What gets easier as they start school: tantrums, toileting, the need for constant supervision,

What gets harder: logistics, school day timings, emotional demands (especially as they notice if their friends get picked up by parents / can do more clubs etc), making time for homework & reading, competing demands, later bedtimes, expectations of others/work who think you're passed the baby stage and your kids are magically self sufficient

If you get on with parents and they're keen to help then I would do it.

3.30pm pick ups, random midday events, plays,sports days, maypole etc. Loads easier if you can send a grandparent sometimes. Also going to GPs once a week after school for tea is the childhood of dreams. Much better than constant childcare. Even better if they can facilitate brownies etc as well.

Plus your parents get the benefits of a community be being regulars at a school gates

I think @lamby12 it depends on your parents attitude to the distance as well.
When my DC were at primary my parents were retired and very much of the opinion they were "only" an hour and a quarter away.

If childminder was ill they would happily drive through for after school pick up. If there was sports day or something else DH or I couldn't go to they would drive over and attend.

But some older people would feel that distance was too far.

Yes holiday clubs are limited hours and not necessarily all through the holidays either. Many are just school hours, and I saw one that's mornings only, how is that helpful?! The one we've booked does have a full day option (8am-6pm) thankfully, and runs all through the summer.

People keep saying that things gets easier as they get older and once they're at school we won't feel the benefit of being close to parents

I have literally never heard anyone say either of those things!

my parents have been a lifesaver when it’s come to helping us out with childcare. Luckily I never needed it for holidays as well as that was about £30 per child per day round here and that’s was only 9-2!

Breakfast and after school club here works out at £17 a day. Holiday club is £22-30 a day depending on how many hours you need.

It gets harder! I yearn for the days when I could drop dc off at 8am on my way to work and collect on my way home 51 weeks a year ! Our school wrap around care is £7 a day before (with breakfast) and £15 a day afterwards (with a snack). We don't use it, myself , dm and dmil juggle the school runs between us. There are approximately 13 weeks holiday and several inset days to cover. Dh use our annual leave to cover, we usually manage just a week off all together. There are several holiday clubs but they tend to run 10-2 so not much good to us. I actually cut down my hours to 3 days when my youngest started school, and I'm glad I did!

Wow. Our wraparound care is cheap by comparison. Breakfast club (from 8am) is £2.75 and ASC is £6.75 until 5pm or £8.75 until 6pm. So if you want the maximum 8am-6pm it's £11.50/day.

We work part-time and don't need breakfast club, just ASC a couple of days a week. We use Tax Free Childcare so we get money off too. The cost is negligible compared to nursery!

The summer holidays have been a headache to organise - we are having a family holiday (at great expense, summer holiday prices!) and apart from that it's a mixture of DH and I taking a bit of annual leave, childcare swaps with friends, and holiday clubs - but I'm dreading those as DS will not want to go, even though I've booked one that a couple of his friends are also going to.

Our before school club is £5, but places are v limited and it’s not open till 7.45am. We have no after school clubs at all.

I’d love to live closer to family. When my husband goes on work trips we have real difficulties with pick ups- I’m a teacher, so absolutely no flexibility. Even just having someone for appointments etc would be great. We’ve definitely found it harder since school.

For breakfast club and after school works out around £20/day- £5 for breakfast club and almost £15 for after school with a snack.