Childminders

@FlimsySteve

Have you mentioned that your child has a place at nursery to any of the childminders that you have seen?

I am a childminder and I work very closely with a lot of the childminders nearby. We discuss families that have been to see us and one of the main, unifying, reasons that we will not take on a family is if we feel they are only using us as a stop-gap measure until the child gets a place at a nursery. This is usually when the child is on the waiting list of an oversubscribed nursery. We have all taken on children and spent a lot of time and effort settling the child in and then they move to a nursery.

I recently settled in a 5mo, who was exclusively breastfed and hadn’t spent more than an hour away from mum. Unbeknownst to me, the child mass on the waiting list for a nursery next door to the family home. 3 months later I’ve been given notice. I understand why they are moving the child, but it still irks!

@Tanmeg are you looking for childcare or just the taxi service? If the latter then I suspect that's the issue as childminders don't do that.

I have done I’m clutching at straws with posting on here. But thanks anyway

@Tanmeg you will need to start your own thread not post on an existing one. Although to be honest you'd be better posting on your local Facebook group, this isn't really how mumsnet works

Unfortunately I think you've made a mistake by just not accepting the places straight away - if you were finding it so hard already why tell the one you were seeing someone else the same week and then tell her you'd give her an answer after that second visit? Given how many you'd seen already why not just say yes straight away? If the setting was clean and safe and you were happy with it you should just have signed straight away? Surely by now you've seen enough setting's to know if you were comfortable sending your child there?

My twins were premature and very few options in my area - I visited the setting and signed the paperwork and paid the deposit there and then

Also childminders all belong to the same local groups and they all talk and know each other - I don't think necessarily the prematurity is an issue but something has blacklisted you?

I suspect it is your child's needs. My daughter was premature but wasn't behind developmentally.

When she started the childminder had just opened and had numerous kids 1+ who were at various stages with walking, needing a bottle etc. She coped as it was all new and she was running on adrenaline. Over a year in and she is finding the long days and the feeling that her house is no longer a home to be wearing. She's recently taken on a baby and its clear she's regretting it and finding it too much even though she has help. If the same situation arose again I'm sure she wouldn't take on a child again who has high needs.

I understand how hard it must be for you as feeling rejected is awful but if the childminder doesn't think they'd be able to cope it is better that the search goes on.

Hi 👋 I’m in need for a childminder starting in sept I live in b31 and need drop offs and pick ups every weekday to Forestdale primary school. I need someone from 7.30am each morning

How long are you leaving it to reply? In my area childminders are in high demand, and any vacancies I have are taken within a couple of days.

Are you being honest re the not walking? If I already have an under one, I wouldn't take another non walker.

I always understood parents would want to look around at other childminders before making a decision who they wanted to care for their son/daughter but at same point advised them I do not hold spaces while they are doing this as I could just not afford to lose out on potential income. I found families who came to visit and then decided to use someone else you never heard back from to advise you either way.

Maybe we’d cm dud get the space filled

if you liked her that much yiu should have cancelled other cm and paid deposit and signed contract on that Wednesday

rather than wait and see the other one

espically that you have seen many so know if like cm

It all sounds odd. I was a childminder for 10 years a few i didn't take on.. most were parents who were not prepared to put boundries in, say the word no.... they had such a different parenting style we didn't compliment each other..

I am guessing its the prem part and they think there are going to be additional needs. I have had bum shufflers so can take up to 18 months to walk.. I could take 2 but not 3 none walkers.

When are you returning to work ? I am wondering if you are too far in advance?

When I was childminding under 1 spaces went very fast, in one week I had 3 families all wanting a baby space , saw first 2 families, of which 1 I was going to say no to if they got back to me. (Due to them wanting a nanny but a childminder prices and asked me not to take on anymore children while I had there’s in) 3 rd family signed up there and then . 1st family contacted me again 3 weeks later and were surprised space had gone. I looked after a 12 month and 14 month old at same time and it was very hard work having two non walkers . I started at 8 am and I too would need the children to be fed before arriving as I too would not have the time to feed then or subversive feeding with other children arriving, school run and then going straight out to groups

I think that's unfair. I'm a cm and I had to hand notice in to an autistic child recently. I'd had them for years and years and still very fond of them. I'd dealt with their behaviour for such a long time and it was really hard work but she was really taking too much attention from the other kids and was physically abusive towards me and the other children and was sometimes (dangerously) impulsive. It wouldn't be right for me to carry onlooking after her and I'm still a bloody good childminder. Thankfully the parent in this case realises I'm still worthy of looking after any siblings.

My sister is a childminder.
She feels like it's a 2 way interview when she meets parents.
She has in the past not given spaces to parents who have lots of demands she wouldn't be able to work with.
Things such as parents wanting a hot cooked meal at lunch time instead of tea time (she goes on lots of outings)
Parents that insist on certain nap times that wouldn't work with her schedule.
Parents who wanted child's bottom cleaned with cool boiled water and olive oil every nappy change.

A childminder should consider carefully his or her ability to care for any child. Many work alone, so you wouldn't want them to do anything else.

It's more likely to be that places are at a premium at the moment. I've never known anything like the enquiries in the last month or two and, in our area, it's exacerbated by nurseries having to farm children out to childminders because of their staffing issues.

I wonder if it's the fact that you already have a nursery place that is putting them off?
Some of the parents trying to find temporary childcare due to nursery staffing issues are not being honest about it. They're telling us they want to move to us permanently when all they want is a stop gap while the nursery can't take them.
It wastes our time and denies other children a place, who genuinely want a childminder setting. We've been caught out already and it's made us wary of taking on further nursery children.

Where I live CM are in high demand. They will probably have more than one parent interested in the space for your DC. If they have intetest in a child that was less work for the same amount of money, they will take it. Rightly or wrongly.

I had a CM tell me she couldn't cope with my eldest who is autistic, albeit he was undiagnosed at the time. She offered to take my more compliant youngest. didn't want someone like looking after any of my children TBH.

When you take on new children you have to be confident that you can meet both their needs and the needs of other children in your care. So personally I wouldnt want to take on two non walkers. The rules say we should only have 1 under 1 and space requirements are different so if developmentally your lo is at his adjusted age rather than his true age (as many prem babies are) it would be like caring for two under one's thats not always the best choice for any of the children but without meeting its hard to make that decision..

My DS is 18 months and has toddler formula as he isn’t keen on cows milk.

would a smaller nursery work, do you think?

Are you expecting them to make up formula for a 13 months old?