AIBU- mum refusing to help with childcare when I return to work.

I don't know why all off you think I care if you think I'm childish I'd rather be childish than toxic wankers that jump to attack someone

Prehaps MNHQ are secretly hoping the DM sees it to solidifh her position.

With your appalling grasp of grammar @Youarehorrid I daresay you’ll be gainfully unemployed soon enough and able to stay at home to look after your own rugrat. Won’t that be super and solve all your problems.

It's hilarious isn't it?

This woman is supposedly so awful but they are practically begging for her to do childcare!

My my this thread has lasted a while

I'd definitely go zero contact with my daughter's partner.

I seriously hope the DM sees this, especially the partners views of her.

Me too. In fact, I'd go zero contact.

@Youarehorrid why would you want a selfish cunt looking after your baby?

Fuck all of you cunts you haven't read the post fully her mum is a selfish cunt I know I've met her and you're all toxic bitches if she doesn't want to help then she shouldn't make the pregnancy about herself

😂😂😂

Calm down dear

Fuck all of you cunts you haven't read the post fully her mum is a selfish cunt I know I've met her and you're all toxic bitches if she doesn't want to help then she shouldn't make the pregnancy about herself

YABU to assume. Don't burn your bridges though as she might be prepared to do some school holiday cover, illness, babysit so you can go out etc..,

You could consider part time hours, use a childminder as it's cheaper,

Do you live with your parents or are you in house with your partner?

I think your partners parents could also help out.

You're expecting her to essentially work as nanny for free all week whether it be a full day or a few hours.

Can't your partner work different hours?

@Essexgurlx @Youarehorrid

I think you really need to have a talk with each other about your expectations regarding childcare. It has been said multiple time - your child, your responsibility. From your responses this is obviously not what you wanted to hear. I think some.time away and reflection on how dozens of replies stating the opposite of what you expected, could perhaps have a point?

Of course you can feel very disappointed but unfortunately it is a huge commitment you are looking for.

Having a mother who will do emergency care and the odd evening babysitting would make you very lucky by some people's standards.

I am in my 50's and l wouldn't dream of making a commitment like that.

Minding babies and toddlers is very hard work.

Is this a reverse? Are you the mum?

I hope the mother sees what's being said about her. It should confirm she has made the right decision.

And this child is it's parents child for life.

I guess perhaps a 21 year old is a semi-child themselves. Perhaps the BF is too

@WombatChocolate The DP has certainly made their feelings known in posts on here.

There are schemes for young parents in education, look these up and ask for support from your college

I also had a child when I was in education.

It's not your mum's responsibility, as you will see taking care of a baby is a huge mental and physical strain and it's asking a lot for her to give up her life and basically take up an extremely demanding unpaid job. I would see if your partner's family would be up for offering a day a week, but if not, look into all your options. It is stressful but ultimately it's her decision, if I were her I probably would have offered one day a week but multiple days is a LOT and it's her choice, not a given.

Good luck

Am now starting to wonder if it’s a wind-up.

Great way to bait a forum of seasoned Mums.

Dick head mums I hope your kids wake you up every hour tonight.

🙃

another one waiting for the deletion message. My guess is "we're taking a look behind the scenes" but it could be "previously banned poster"

Grandparents differ. They don’t all love the baby stage and thrill at the thought of the hard graft. They’ve done their time with that stuff.

They can love being grandparents without wanting to be parents again. Being a GP is about the fun bits and about being able to walk away without long term and regular commitments. Many are thrilled to have grandchildren and love seeing them on grandparent terms. And they love it when they go home with their parents who then deal with the napping and food struggles and day to day graft. They love being grandparents but are done with the parenting of small children part.

I guess perhaps a 21 year old is a semi-child themselves. Perhaps the BF is too. If this thread made OP take to her bed and cry and BF to post his big rant, well I guess they are like over grown children. I can see being a young parent is scary in lots of ways. Becoming a parent is scary at all stages. But it’s the time to take responsibility and be the grown up. You have to accept the restrictions and costs and burdens it brings rather than trying to share them with those who aren’t the parents or expecting others to take them on, when it’s your child and your choice.

No doubt your Mum will be involved OP. I’m sure she will I’ve her GC and you too. But this is your call and your project and you have to do it and let your Mum take the role she wants to. It’s time to recognise the truth of what so many posters on here say. It might be a disappointment to you, because it’s not what you thought your Mum would say or want. But reflect and soot that this was your error or judgement and assumption and it’s not an eeeor on the part of your Mum but her legitimate choice. Then get out bed, stop crying and start thinking about your plans and look forward to your baby.

Or are you going to take to your bed when it’s difficult with the baby and decide the world is against you? Your baby needs you to be a grown up and do the parenting. You’ve got time now to start being more grown up and take responsibility.

I hope all of the horrible mums on this shit app stand on your kids Lego tonight.

😂😂😂