One off childcare for 3 week old- advice needed

Wow. Stop guilt tripping a working mum

being self employed is very different and @busymamaof2 needs to keep business contacts

and makes far much more sense to meet all in one go rather then do several 3hr trips later on

obv you would have just given birth so need to take care of self as well

if the original plan was for dh to have baby at home then stick with that

yes he will have his 4&6yr as well.

its 24hrs

obviously make sure baby takes the bottle as well as bf so he or mn can feed baby

dont take baby to event. Will look unprofessional and May be an easy baby feed and sleep. But May be a crier as well

you don’t need the added stress

now whether you feel more comfortable having a mn at hotel near by or An extra pair of hands for dh at home having 3 tho he should be able to look after his own 3 children for 24hrs

I would offer myself as I’m a maternity nurse but I’m booked up for July

you could contact an agency and prob pay £25/30 to find a mn plus then the mn rate on top which could be £20ph +

It’s easy to forget how intense newborns are at night. You could easily have a collicy one that screams until 10/11 while you’re at your event.

I’d either leave 3 with DH and see if he can get some extra help in so he can concentrate on the newborn and do the travel as quick as possible or see if you could make a longer break out of it and hire a cottage/airb&b so you’re not dragging the little ones 3 hours away for nothing. Unless you could get a good friend to come with you, I just don’t think I’d be comfortable handing a newborn over to an unknown babysitter.

I have PM'd you OP.

I did a lot of this sort of thing, with 3 young kids. I would probably take the baby to the event in a carrier on my front, let it feed and sleep and fit in to the occasion (this worked with our newborns at various different sorts of events). I would have the other two and dh in a hotel for the evening and night, or possibly drive through the night after the event with everyone sleeping in the car.

People tend to think this sort of life is crazy and unworkable, but that is what we did. It was actually fun for our family.

Can you take baby and a minder for the baby (sister, friend, paid babysitter) to the conference with you?

Could you take your baby with you to the event? I know it would be unconventional but if one of my suppliers did this I would be perfectly ok with it. You could breastfeed whenever needed and put him in a sling to get to sleep.

Do either of you have an older niece, sister, cousin who you could bring with you to London to stay with the baby in the hotel room and dh stays at home with the older kids?

I think this would be my preference. Then baby won't be left alone with a stranger.

Wld a friend not go with you to mind the baby?

One trip as opposed to multiple. Which is also not unsustainable imo. Some people with children have to travel for work. Some women with children have to work.

Coming at this from a slightly different angle, but have you considered covid? We currently have quite a few staff off at my firm with Covid. This is following industry events such as networking, awards nights etc. It seems that Covid cases are rising again and a big networking event would be perfect for spreading.

I'm not usually a big worrier about it, but I think if I had a 3 week old baby I would definitely be taking it into consideration.

I’d take the baby in a sling in the evening - will most likely sleep with you swaying / moving around and will make you stand out from the crowd / be a great talking point if a networking event

I have used Hello Mums and Bubble to find childcare help in London when my babies were small – often I ended up having sitters who were very qualified (night nurses or people who worked in nurseries or with children with special needs). With Hello Mums I could definitely book a sitter for a place that wasn't my house – I had to be in central London for an event and they came to me, and while I was at the event I found a room for them to use (and they ended up going for a walk around the square, etc). This was during the day, to be clear, but I would imagine you would be able to find someone qualified and with newborn experience to help. (It also sounds like if you were going to stay overnight, you would have a room for them to stay with your baby while you were at the event, which might make it easier). Good luck!

Sorry but I find this so sad. You'll be three weeks post partum yet you're faffing around trying to sort childcare and travelling a long way so you can attend a work event. I'm all for women having careers but honestly, three weeks after birth, you should be in your pjs cuddling your baby on the sofa.

It actually enrages me that DHs aren't capable of looking after their own DCs. If plan A was for DH to stay home with the newborn, ie you were happy with leaving the newborn for the length of time that entailed, then plan B has to be DH stays home with all three, no?

Unless there's a massive dripfeed coming that you've got nannies and doulas to 'help' you cope with your own kids when you're on your own (sarcasm). BF apart, there should be no need for extra support for DH for less than 24 hours.

Have you anyone who could go with you and mind baby? My sil just had her third and I'd happily meet her and mind baby for as long as necessary. You might be more relaxed knowing the babysitter but I've used hotel sitters previously and all was good. If you don't have anyone I'd go with dad minding all three, the stress of them all travelling will not be conductive to your meeting, also ignore the saints saying they wouldn't go, that leaving a baby is wrong, not providing for your family is wrong and when you're self employed sacrifices are made in order to ensure future business opportunities.

Why does the husband need help with the kids? I'm guessing OP doesn't hire in a nanny when she has them home alone?!

@busymamaof2 do you work by yourself or do have someone who could go in your place?
Baby might decide to be born late and might only be a week old.
I think an important plan B would be who could go instead of you? Or represent you?

The OP has said London is quite a long way from her home. This would be the issue for me, I would personally rather leave my baby with a babysitter close to where I am than be physically a few hours travel away.

Could you contact sitters.com (or similar) and ask them to provide a babysitter at the event (if there were facilities for that?) If there's no prospect of the baby being looked after at the event itself I'd choose a nearby hotel.

@senua it's once a year, what's unsustainable about that??
She said the alternative was "doing multiple trips to London in the autumn for one off coffees, lunches etc." Having your contacts three hours away is not ideal.

Also, is contact in July important this year? How much work will OP be doing post-partum?

Option 1 would be to leave all three with your husband and leave some pumped milk in the fridge.

Option 2 if there are no friends and family about that could come over for part of the day to break it up a bit, I think a postnatal doula would be a good call. They would be there to look after the baby and support your husband. Maybe get them over once or twice before so you’re happy.

Don’t listen to the judgers. As a self employed person too I get that you have to be available for some stuff no matter what.

"to have a crier" not today..

Is it's a formal event? If not I would just take baby with you. Unless you are unlucky today have a crier (fingers crossed you won't) at 3 weeks it's eat, sleep, poo. If you have baby in a sling or with you in a pram he/she will probably sleep happily through the whole thing.

We used sitters.com in a similar situation, we needed 4 hours of childcare in a city away from home where we didnt know anyone. Baby was slightly older but not that much. It worked very well, the sitter was absolutely lovely and baby was completely fine. We got a hotel as close to the venue as we could.

Sometimes hotels have babysitters too, can you check if there's a hotel with recommended baby-sitters?

It's not ideal to leave your precious newborn with someone you don't know but it's only a few hours. At 3 weeks old the baby will feed, sleep, have a wee walk in the pram perhaps, sleep some more.

I don't get why people always insist newborns should be left with their dad as the dad would do the same.

The newborn hasn't just spent the last nine months curled into its mother. Separation time should be kept to an absolute minimum for the first 6 weeks. This is basic. Seriously shoddy advice telling you to fuck off for two days and leave the baby.
It's not about him and whether he's up to it or not, it's about is it best for the baby.
Simply put no it's not.

Obviously you have to go to the event but try and pick the option that means the least possible amount of separation from the newborn.

I think booking the whole family into a local air bnb is best. No way would I be away from a 3 week old for more than a few hours.

Caveat - I'm the type that wouldn't leave my one year old 6 month old either so take my advice with a pinch of salt