Nursery or nanny

childminder or nanny

yes! trading Nanny Vs Nursery stories is so counterproductive/pointless/Dull/stereotypical You pay your money, you make your choices. end of

I get particularly fed up with the 'nurseries employ 16 year olds who talk about going out on the piss all the time' statements.

Nurseries, certainly in this area, would go out of business if they did.

How about a few ' bored child welded into puschair while nanny spends most of the day talking on mobile phone' statements?

Pointless, isn't it?

NannyL you are full of anecdotal quips and generalisations

nannyL. As blueshoes has said - in a lot of areas the cost of a nanny or a nursery place is the same.

Some people prefer nurseries. Just as some people prefer nannies.

But i chose nursery instead of nanny , so actually you are grossly generalising

But a lot of people also choose a nursery over a nanny or a CM for a whole host of reasons.

There was a thread about this recently.

nannyL, I pay for ft nursery fees for two dcs + aupair. I can easily afford a ft nanny. I CHOSE not to use a nanny because I feel that a nursery is best for my dcs. Just different strokes.

when £ doesnt matter people choose a nanny!

even when money does matter some people economise in all sorts ofv other ways just SO they CAN have a nanny!

that says it all

and............

the point is that when £ is not so much of an issue most people would choose a nanny....

and I interpret that most people choosing a nanny choose a nanny because they think it is best for them and their children.

Ofcourse it is budgeted out going expenditure... not always, but in my experiance normally budgeted on top of the running costs of a nice big house, nice cars, cleaners, school fees, gardners, as well as the rest of general living costs

what is your point NannyL?you lost me between spare income and Nursery

imo actually its budgeted outgoings expenditure- -not spare

Would be interesting to think...

how many people with £40+k gross income spare would choose to send their child to a nursary?

anna, "what's your problem" - I disagree with your observation that "generally I find that children who spend a lot of time either with their mother or a very good nanny have great social skills as those skills are modelled for them all day long". The assumption that a child needs to be with an adult for long hours to attain these great social skills is flawed IMO. It is just your observation, and I don't have any problem with that. Just that based on my observation, I can't and won't draw any generalisations as to whether nursery or nanny-cared for children have better, much less great, social skills with adults.

Re-reading my post, agree I came across aggressive

Why so aggressive, blueshoes - I said that children in nurseries "do not always get the same opportunities..." and you attack that as if it read "never get the same opportunities"... what's your problem?

As nannyL says, lots of children who are in nursery 5 days a week do miss out on real life. Nursery would bring them other things (which we can debate are better, worse or just different) but not the constant daily interaction with the real, adult-centred world that life with a parent or nanny does. That's all.

my happy beautiful well balanced sociable child attends nursery FT 5 days 8-4ish loves it.has done since 6month old

Most Scandinavian parents use state-run daycare nurseries for full-time childcare.

We have several at our nursery who have moved to the UK for work contracts and they are some of the most sociable and emotionally balanced parents and children I've ever met.

nannyL, you believe what you want to believe. My children attend nursery ft from 1 year old. The irony of Anna's comment was that I had just come back from a supermarket trip with dd in which she pointed out the fruit and veg, which she learnt at nursery and from watching me chop veg at home. She had helped me with loading the shopping on the conveyor belt and was great company. Last week, during the school break we were on a bus and a train to visit my friend and her son. We go out lots as a family on weekends, also play dates, baby gym - if that is not normal life, I don't know what is.

The nursery also takes the children out to visit local shops, supermarket, parks (lots around our way), railway station, watch movies - the children are not like caged hens, you know.

It is not as if children need to shadow an adult 24/7 to learn anything about how to behave with other adults in social situations. I think you need to give children more credit than that!

Choose a good nursery or a good nanny.

Don't choose a bad nursery or a bad nanny.

There are lots of both around.

And I agree with earlier posters that trading 'crap nursery' against 'crap nanny' stories can go on forever.

unfortuantely a LOT of children do spend 5 days 8 - 6 in nursarys...

parenst obviosuly require childcare durting these hours.... hence they are in a nursary.

If these children were being cared for by a nanny (which a i appreciate is not even possible financially for a lot of parenst) but IF they were cared for by a nanny thats 5 more days a week they would eb being exposed to normal life sitations.

ok if you child is in a nursary for a day or 2 a week it probably wont make any difference but for those who are cared for full time it is something to consider

Anna, what a gem: "Children in nurseries don't always get the same range of social skills modelled - they may learn to behave with a group of their peers, but they don't have all the opportunities of watching responsible adults interact with the world in real life situations."

I suppose children in nurseries must ONLY spend their time within the artificial confines of the nursery and never go out with their carers or with parents or any other adults, not even on weekends. Poor them.

very good point Anna888

nannyL - generally I find that children who spend a lot of time either with their mother or a very good nanny have great social skills as those skills are modelled for them all day long as they go about life - saying hello to shopkeepers, being polite to old ladies on buses, knowing how to behave in a supermarket etc etc etc

Children in nurseries don't always get the same range of social skills modelled - they may learn to behave with a group of their peers, but they don't have all the opportunities of watching responsible adults interact with the world in real life situations.

I think my charge (4) who has never been to nursary (has done pre school sessions etc, but never more than 4 sessions per week which was only for the last half term before he started school) is proof that having a nanny does NOT hinder social skills

his social skills are better than most other children his age

in response to sassa, no i don't think having a nanny holds a child back in terms of social skills, especially if you sign up for a pre school nursery place at 3. imho.