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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Irritating things that au pairs/nannies do...

92 replies

Tanzie · 21/11/2004 20:55

Following on from the other thread, and apart from seriously evil stuff that my last nanny used to do, I would (perhaps rather pettily) include the following:

Piling up the rubbish in a huge pyramid on top of the binbag so she doesn't have to change it yourself.

When the pile topples over, scatter carrier bags full of rubbish from the kitchen bin randomly around the overflowing bin (so someone else will deal with the mess and not her...)

Diluting the washing up liquid (an Eastern European thing I think)

Removing the cardboard tube from the loo roll holder and chucking it on the loo floor, but not bothering to move three feet and replace it with a new loo roll.

Saying "It depends what you're having" when you ask if she will be eating with the family that night.

Dumping clothes in a crumpled mess on top of the tumble drier so she can get her stuff in it, instead of folding it so that it doesn't need ironing.

Having to be asked every week to do one simple thing (eg use the brush when you've had a poo, put the children's clothes away if they're clean and folded on top of thewshing machine...)

Feeding children processed crap that she has bought herself (eg microwaveable burgers) rather than grilling fish fingers and making mash to go with them (too much effort).

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Tanzie · 26/11/2004 21:08

Crunchie - stick her on Eurostar would you please?!

Got home late tonight, after going to doc's, felt like crap. Made tea...no milk! Investigated further...no bread, no butter, no binbags. Rubbish gaily abandoned on floor next to bin. I have asked her goodness knows how many times to let me know if we are running out of essentials, and if we run out during the day, to use some of the money I leave her for such things. Asked her why she hadn't bought (at least) some milk for DDs to have tonight. Vacant look, shrug of shoulders, returned to MTV.

I really like her, she is fantastic with the girls, but she has NOT ONE OUNCE OF COMMON SENSE OR INITIATIVE!!

Except that...she rearranged the furniture in the sitting room today and dumped what she thought was unnecessary furniture (table and a couple of chairs) downstairs in the hall. DH was incandescent with rage and went round muttering "Whose F*ing house is it anyway?"

and and

What planet is she on?

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crunchie · 26/11/2004 09:15

Oh yes I had terrible problems with my nanny, I mean the annoying girl used organised all my childrens toys into boxes with labels on them can you imagine anythung more irritating And she used to clean the house if she was bored I mean what planet was the girl living on

Actually I wish I had something funny to add to this thread my my ex nanny was brilliant and I am sure she would be theone on the other thread bitching about me (actually probably not as we got on great) I think my only thing was dh leaving all HIS toast crumbs out for her to tidy. I miss our nanny as everyone really loved her, thank god we see her regularly.

Carla · 26/11/2004 09:09

Oooooooh Tanzie! Skidmarks from dd's are bad enough ... but alien ones ... yuk yuk yuk. I tend to just chuck a load of bleach down as I don't want my loo brush 'soiled'. Had the woman no shame?

Caligula · 26/11/2004 09:01

Well I've had to tell an au-pair to wash and use deodorant every morning. I don't know if I'll ever be more embarrassed by anything else in my life.

cuppy · 25/11/2004 22:39

Hello Tanzie, hope you didnt think by my previous post that I had taken offence in any way, or that I was having a dig at you.
Feel free to rant all you like - my post was just a joke too. I find it funny to hear some of the stories - |'d be so embarrased if I had to be asked to use the loo brush after going to the loo - my employers seeing my skids - how ambarrasing!!!

Tanzie · 25/11/2004 21:46

Carla, yes, if there are skidmarks, I would expect someone to use the brush and a bit of cleaner and get rid of their poostains. I didn't say she pooed only once a week!

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hattiel · 25/11/2004 20:24

hopping - i think i would introduce a few ground rules about conduct in your home, and definitley speak to DP.

Our current Au pair is a really stunning girl, her photos on her application did'nt do her any justice. We have had to put up with BIL making the slightest excuse to visit, just to drool over her. Even spotty teenage neighbours sons, peeping over the garden fence and quizzing DH about where X is from? how old is she? he never use to utter good morning before.

Poor girl is totally unaware of the stirr she's causing.

Somehow I can't imagine her staying single for long. Will have to cross that bridge when It happens.!!

Stilltrue · 25/11/2004 18:20

Hoppy, how unprofessional. It's just not on. Can't you and dp talk to her/dp's son together?

hoppy · 25/11/2004 16:44

My nanny has started a thing with DPs eldest son and they spend their time hogging the living room playing rubbish on MTV and giggling. That's when they're not having a tiff and there are sulky teens slamming doors and huffing all over the house. When DPs son is at home and I get home from work I get a cursory glance before she leaves the room. No hello, handover etc etc. It drives me mad. She also spends all day looking after him with my daughter trailing behind. She is a good nanny but this is really making me cross. Especially the sneaking in and out of bedrooms in the night. Do they think I'm completely thick? I have a 23 month old. I'm up and down like a yo-yo in the night .

Carla · 25/11/2004 13:30

Tanzie. Do you really use a loo brush everytime someone's done a poo? And did your au pair really do only one poo a week?

hattiel · 25/11/2004 13:10

Yes i agree this is just a light hearted vent and this is the place. There are lots of threads about irritating MIL or DP, irritations are inevitable when you have some one living or working in your home or part of your family life.

I know our Au pair certainly sounds off about us, (i accept this) Like babysitting at a moments notice, kids playing up, my MIL, ect, likewise we give time off at moments notice, let her sister stay with us, or sympathize when she's having a bad day

Sorry if offended any Au pair or nannies, I know there are lots of good ones out there!!

fufmum · 25/11/2004 10:40

I agree about this not being a match between nannies/au-pairs and mothers. But i am a nanny and have been for 15 yrs, believe me when i say some bosses drive us up the wall as much as some of us do our bosses!
most of mine have always left rubbish to be taken out by me, and i can pack the dishwasher 10 times better than them. I never complain at working late even if i am given 10 mins notice
Things are about to change though as i am having my first baby and bosses want me to come back after the birth which i am. Trust me when i say my life will come first from now on, some bosses really think that their lives are more important and look baffled when we say no to another nights babysitting! Sorry don't mean to upset anyone but just felt i had to stand up for the nannnies out there! Don't know about Au-pairs, as far as i'm concerned, they are totally different kettle of fish. I am a fantastic nanny and my bosses are fantastic too, most of the time, but we all do things to wind one another up!

jabberwocky · 25/11/2004 00:27

Telling me, as I am in the suicidal throes of PND "I wish I could tell you it gets better, but I've been there, and it doesn't." I'm glad I wasn't standing on the ledge of a tall building at the time!!!

Aero · 24/11/2004 23:51

But your books??!! I'm sure you've now made it clear to her that this isn't on!

Tanzie · 24/11/2004 23:42

I have no idea, but DH was incandescent with rage (but managed to remain calm). She is a lovely girl, but has been totally spoiled by her family (she is the youngest, and I know the family) and I suppose she has always done as she pleased.

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Aero · 24/11/2004 23:36

That's shocking Tanzie! I'm not surprised he's ! What's that all about? What on earth was she thinking of? I take your point about the microwaved fish fingers as well - yuk!!

Tanzie · 24/11/2004 23:31

Aero, I have great respect for nannies. I couldn't do the job! I think I am a reasonable employer as well - am still in close contact with 2 of my 3 nannies. None of us wants to see the cold stew and microwaved fish finger nanny ever again though!

Current au pair has just been discovered writing in DH's art books - making notes in the margins, underlining text etc. Must admit, had not thought to say "Please don't write in our books!" when we took her on! DH is v v

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Aero · 24/11/2004 23:26

's ok Tanzie!. I'm not a nanny anymore - vent all you like. Am sure someone might start a thread on the other side of the coin, but it won't be me. I was a happy nanny on the whole.

Tanzie · 24/11/2004 23:18

I started this thread to let people vent their spleen about the little things that au pairs (primarily, but nannies too) do that annoy you. It wasn't meant seriously, or to voice serious concerns. Just minor irritations. I am perfectly aware that I am not the perfect employer - I am sometimes home late from work without warning - I don't enjoy still being in the office at 9.00 at night either, but sometimes it happens with no warning. It is now 12.15 am here, I have just got in from a work do (which I had thought was going to be drinks and ended as dinner). I am cross eyed with tiredness and will have to be up again at 0600 tomorrow morning. My au pair doesn't have to be up until lunchtime tomorrow and has probably had a nice evening in front of MTV. I have another work related event tomorrow night as well...

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morocco · 24/11/2004 23:05

let ds eat all the choccie biscuits so there are none left for me when I get home!

Uwila · 24/11/2004 22:30

Yes, some nannies are lovely, some aren't. I used to have one that I could rant about for hours, even now. Selfish cow! The one I have now is lovely. She's not perfect, but she's very good. And, must admit I'm not very good about doing my own dishes (although that was agreed as part of her job). But, anyway, just thought I'd say that some nannies are wonderful.

However, I do fully understand the need to vent about a bad nanny, and I thinnk this is the place to do it. So I think that all nannies needn't be offended here. If you are a good nanny, this thread isn't about you.

cuppy · 24/11/2004 22:08

Very interesting to see employers points of view. I'll be sure not to do any of the listed things.
From a nanny's point of view, here is a list of employers irritating things.

Being late home from work without warning.

Ringing 5 mins b4 you're due to finish to ask if its ok that they're going to be late ( they obviously knew that 1/2 hr ago)

Not emptying the bins

Leaving the dishes stacked ON TOP of the dishwasher so they can miraculously jump in by themselves to be washed.

Mmm , I cant think of anymore, I must have really good employers

ernest · 24/11/2004 19:37

this all sounds like you're describing my dh. nearly every point! esp laundry, bins, tv, changing loo roll etc etc etc

Aero · 24/11/2004 19:14

Crossed posts Caligula - didn't want to start that thread though. No hard feelings to most employers!

Aero · 24/11/2004 19:12

Please people - I used to be a nanny - This is not a nice thread. I had the utmost respect for the family I spent the longest time with - still do for that matter. I have worked with many families and have got on well with all but one.
I worked with a certain family and I would not like to begin to list the annoying things some employers do/don't do - beginning with not emptying their own overflowing bins!! Nannies do get annoyed with being taken for granted and expected to do these things every time. Not to mention having to wash up dishes after a dinner party the night before just to have something to cook their child's breakfast in and serve it on.
These are just a couple of things and that working relationship didn't last long as I felt an enormous lack of respect for the work that I did with their child.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not above emptying bins and never minded doing it anywhere else - it was the fact that it was left for me to do every time. That's simply not on.