So have all the aupairs returned after Christmas

She is also completely unable to put socks into pairs or decide who they belong to, she is only responsible for sorting and putting away the childrens clean laundry - I do all the washing including hers.

My DD has to have black socks for school, they are size 1 adult, over the knee and have her name sewn into them. They are constantly in my DH's bqasket. My DS has tiny feet, size 7 childrens he ends up with any of DD's socks that aren't pink.

It really irritated me, so when she returned to work I explained that any socks should go in the luandry room in the new basket labelled 'socks' and I would be responsible for all sock pairing and putting away. Mon afternoon I went through DS' wardrobe to remove outgrown items, resort into nursery/play and smart clothes. There were 2 pairs of DD's socks in there that the AP had put in since I asked her not to. One pair were pink and white and the other blue with sparkly starts on.

The children were very pleased to have her back and she does seem to be making more effort with them and generally.

Ingles yes she was due to stay longer but she isn't a 'natural' AP, finds it (me?) hard and looked for a new family after her fist week back in Oct! She obviously didn't get a better offer, tbh I'm surprised she agreed to come back after Christmas.

What is wrong with my French AP? How long have you got???

She is highly critical of everything I do, what I feed my children, how I look after my pets etc

A conversation early in our relationship....

AP 'You really need to make DS eat more things, fruit and vegetables, or he will end up like DD'

(DS has special needs and is a very fussy/texture sensitive eater - sees a Paed, dietitian etc for this)

Me 'erm, DD eats a wide variety of things she loves fruit and veg'

AP 'But how did she get to be like that, is she ill or did she just eat too much food.'

Me

My French ap isn't at all stroppy. She does admit to being very sensitive, and apparently takes things to heart easily, but we've had no problems at all - this is her talking about issues between her and her dad. But as this is my first ap, I'll bow to all of your superior knowledge, and tread carefully next time

I think actually she would have to have a bit more experience for my marathon sole charge days. So I'll let the rest of you fight over her.

Thanks, anyway.

Happy New Year Alycat/Norty...like the new name! Surely it can't be time for your AP to leave already?
Aaah Quattro that's because your French AP is Male and we all know they are charming and seductive, you lucky lucky lady. The girls though are just stroppy

She is 20. She has been babysitting (and could put to bed 3 children between 1 and 7) and worked in a summer holiday camp before she came to me. With me she has sole charge of my 2 1/2 year old 3 afternoons per week, and take both of them to school and nursery, and she is just generally around from 3 pm whether I am there or not taking care of one or two of them. She is very popular in the area babysitting for other families when I dont need her in the evenings.

I have a perfectly lovely french au-pair. Absolutely first class. I have to fight to stop him buying food with his money, he does creative stuff (baking, building stuff) etc all the time he has them. He is fab.

What's wrong with your french au-pair?

I am needing an AP+ from March....

I live in Kent, 45 mins train to London.

I'll back Ingles warning (Happy New Year btw 'tis Alycat) ...BEWARE the French!!!

What is her childcare experience? (even if nurseries before coming to you)

Is your job her first live-in position? How long has she been there?

Eleusis, she is an au pair plus. She does hardly any cleaning and no cooking with us.... My cleaner cleans her room. But she is brilliant with the kids!

OI! Me ears are burnin'! Tell me about this nanny... or is it an au pair? Am a tad confused.

Quint - eleusis is after a Nanny from March!

Sleepless, I can suggest this to my AP, but not until I have told her we are going already in March/April.....

She is truly brilliant, though!

QuintessentialShadow - if your AP is tried and tested, how about she comes to me in March?? We have dd 4 months and ds 2 years old, me and dh work from home in turns, and live by the sea in deepest west Wales (so you can compare circumstances).
Our current AP has agreed to help vet new ones, but no matter how carefully you choose I think you are lucky if you land a really good one.

My ap is much the same - she doesn't ask for anything special, and hence I'm trying to press 'nice' things on her! Also makes me feel better if I'm not the only one eating a slice of warm chocolate fudge cake

Yes I do MM. I don't think you should be buying her much in the way of specific health food. Surely she has to eat what you eat or sort herself out. If I were you, next time you go shopping buy a couple of things from the list and when she asks about the others, say no budget for that this week. or do what I do and give snack/petrol money and tell her she has to buy all her special food with that.

We all went away for Christmas, us to my parents, my ap to her parents, we met at the airport and drove home together. The kids had missed her. She is nice, but as we have not been without her here, she wasnt really missed as we were on holiday.

I have a bit of an opposite problem. We are leaving the country, a few months before AP is due to return home... That was unexpected. We are meant to move back to Norway in July (decided on new years eve), but may have to go already in March..... Have to talk to her about it....

I think the forwardness is quite common Mishmash...I'd say 1/2 of my ap's have bluntly demanded stuff and I've had ap's for 5 yrs now. I think that they feel, if they don't get exactly what they want, when they want, they are being treated like slaves. I just say, can't afford that for me or you,...buy your own. Where's she from?

and I think you've been really lucky this time,...beware the French!!! !!!

Laura yep, my ap's speak on skype to potential ap's and I even listen to their advice
Some people do a week crossover so their current AP can teach the new one, how things should be done. Personally I don't think this is a great idea, because they get a bit slap dash and lazy by the end of the year and generally loose interest, even the best ones.

Hearing about other terrible ap's makes me scared to get a 2nd one. We've been really lucky with our ap I think, and judging on the experience of others, I don't think we're going to be so happy second time around. I was bemoaning this fact to our ap today (she's planning on going 'in the summer' ) and she said she'd help us find somebody else - she's French, but also speaks excellent Spanish, so that might help a bit with the initial language barriers? Anybody else tried this approach?

Our came back last Wed and has been in bed since Thurs with flu which DS has now caught!!!!!!! ARRGH. Generally she is wonderful but this has just been a nightmare for me as I have an ill child, getting no sleep, no help because AP is ill and new job starting on Thursday. Eek.

GRRRR