So... AIBU to think that my cm is being a bit cheeky? And how do I tackle it?

cant believe she e-mailed you what about a persoanl phone call if yours friends

think its one sided in the freindship basis

i would be fuming if a friend let me down last minute nevermind a childminder that i am paying

whats to sort party wise anyway as it cant have been that inportant if she hasnt written it down, most places are open today so she could plan it today

That's terrible behaviour. I have 4 weeks in my contracts and although I am now pregnant and have certain midwife appointments, scans etc which aren't always given to me with 4 weeks notice, I always ASK parents in this situation if it's ok to drop off slightly later etc. I'd never just tell them, not even at 3 weeks notice, it's 4 weeks or ASK them and see what we can sort between us.

Definitely have a word with her or email her back. It's awkward but needs to be said and she shouldn't get p'd off at all.

Good luck

After reading your post I think your cm is being unreliable and unprofessional. If she said she'd have your ds and dd then she cannot change her mind when it suits. She should sort out personal things after work.

I had the other problem (I'm a cm) of asking when I was having the little lad I mind as I wanted to plan my week around him. He's coming but from 2.30pm till 5.30 so that messes up my day really, I can't go anywhere with my own ds or do any proper jobs as I have to be back for 2.15 and even then his Mum is always late when she ahs already said 2.30. I have it in my contract that they pay a daily rate but they don't like it, I'm available to work from 7 am so in the hols its £25 per day.

I would have a good chat, tell her you are not happy that she has cancelled and give her one more chance, if she does it again, give her notice to say you are finding someone more reliable. It doesn't make any difference that you are self-employed, you cannot do your job with you children about and she is under contract. Good Luck and Happy New year!

ok

just thougth it was worth considering...

if she had known about the appt then you should ahave been given a LOT more notice... even the same amount of notice that she had about the appt

I'm sure she wasn't deliberately being inconsiderate. It is probably more to do with the fact that you have become good friends and felt it would be OK. She probably just didn't think, due to the fact she's realised its her mums suprise birthday and she's got tons to do! Lets face it, its not the best time of year, to be on top of things! (Says she, who's forgotten to buy DH a birthday card for tomorrow! )

I reckon a gentle reminder of the t&c's of her contract will be enough to prevent it happening again.

Sorry what does SE mean ??

not at all!

just say...i have managed to re arrange but would be so much help if you could give me plenty of notice if something comes up agin, i know emergencies happen but lots of juggling to do today..keep it light!

sorry it should have said Bad my spelling is terrible!

her excuses are terrible, they are not jutified!, shes over stepping the mark..have you emailed her back?, if not i would say..I guess i can arrange something this time, and i know things do crop up in emergencies, but i really do need more notice, same as i would try and give you as even though i am SE, i still have to make plans and thee cant always be easilly re arranged....the 'emergencies' bit, is a dig as her mums aprty is NOT an emergency...neither is catching up on sleep!, if my dd's been ill, same is i have, i plan more quiet activities through day to enure im not putting children at risk and that i can still keep them safe and happy(im a CM to, forgot to say)

YANBU to be annoyed IMO

but can i just ask... did she know about her childs consultant appt in advance?...

I only ask because not long ago my grandmother recieved her appt with her consultant for tomorrow and if that happened to her as well it would be understandable...

the hospital were being extra slow at posting letters and some people apparently didnt even recieve the letters until they had missed the appt

but after 18 months with you and only being let down on 2 occasions, give her anotehr chance, it is a busy time of year for lots of us. perhaps it all gets too much sometimes (know the feeling)

Definitely agree about inventing a meeting that you had to cancel at short notice. Also while you are telling yoyur cm this, can you mention that the coming months look busy ones with more meetings than usual lined up.

I think you need to be show (in a nice way)that your working from home arrangements are not as flexible as your cm assumes. But likewise, I guess you will have rely less on your cm being flexible for you at short notice, so she doesn't feel she is owed time off.

As you are on such friendly terms with her, you sound like you'll work it out fine.

it's very un-professional behaviour - she should give you at least a couple of weeks notice - i have four weeks on my contract - but as you say she's very good and now a friend i can see it would be awkward to say anything HOWEVER you need her to be reliable and to do the job your paying her for - i would just be straight-forward and honest with her - the professional/friendship line does get a bit hazy the longer you work together

the 'work' boundry has been crossed here and she now thinks she can swap and change, shes not being proffesiona;, no she wont be getting paid for it but she does havea contract with you for x days a week and she cant cahnge her mind on starting back date like that, or rather she can, but that makes her a bda/inconsiderate cm..you need to get that boundry back...did she ring/text/email you?..i would have been inclined to say there and then that this change would put me in a pickle, even if it ahdnt..you still have to reorganise things now, even if they arn't mega important!

At the very least you could lay it on thick about having to re-schedule a meeting and maybe you could take it from this that you need more than 2 days notice in future.

Its a very tricky situation, I know. As a CM I want to be the closest friend and 'spare parent' as I can be, but still keeping it professional!

I think you should invent a meeting! Its not at all right that she's saying she's busy organising a party! She could do it tomorrow or after work!

Very unprofessional of her to cancel at short notice because she's busy organising a party!

I'd check what notice you have to give her for occasional days off and then maybe mention that she needs to give you the same notice.

you should not be worreid about p*ssing her off, you are paying her to take care of your children so you can work, if you cannot talk to her , maybe you need to rethink your options?

if you don;t say something, she might not realise that it is a big deal,and might be mortified.