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Original poster

This is probably a stupid question, but can I ask a prospective nanny...

39 replies

GloriaInEleusis · 26/12/2007 18:06

what his/her religeon is?

I ask because DD (and soon DS) goes to a COE school and I want a nanny who will "click" with the other parents and hopefully enjoy hanging out with some of them. And it helps if they have something in common. Now, not every student at the school is an Anglican, but most of them are.

But, is religeon fair game or can I not ask that?

Now of course I could just ask how they feel about the COE school and if they would be happy socialising with the others at the school gate, but that is rather transparent and everyone whould know what answer I was looking for.

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Original poster
GloriaInEleusis · 26/12/2007 19:13

"Also you seem to assume that candidates will always tell you what you want to hear, regardless of whether it is true. "

Call me a sceptic... but yes I do generally thing they tell you what they think you want to hear.

You know, like they all like to cook, they are all eager to go to swimming class, and they know how to iron. Un huh.... and beack here on Earth,Dh does the laundry, Took DS swimming ONCE after I kitted him our with a couple of posh swim trunks and a variety of beach towels. As for cooking, well, what they mean is "I like to bake cakes".

OP posts:
cheapslutonjunk · 26/12/2007 19:09

Well duh?

I meant does it matter to you what religion she is and will it affect how you get on with her in addition to the school gates "binding", but do, please, feel free just to be rude.

LadyMuck · 26/12/2007 19:08

Don't think that you can ask, but you can word your ad suitably eg mentioning Christian family or Church-going family will attract some candidates and deter others. Also you seem to assume that candidates will always tell you what you want to hear, regardless of whether it is true. My experience is that there are some schools which some nannies would avoid. And finally I agree with the others so far - parents might make some polite smalltalk with nanny at school gate, but wouldn't expect to spend any serious amount of time with them at all, so it wouldn't even bother me if they didn't speak the language (and I see a number of au pairs at the school gate). That said I do feel vaguely smug when other parents try to grab my nanny.

Original poster
GloriaInEleusis · 26/12/2007 19:06

Well duh. Of course it matters to me or I wouldn't have posted this thread.

OP posts:
cheapslutonjunk · 26/12/2007 19:04

Will your nanny be expected to discuss religion with the other parents?

I think YABVU - it's a childcare arrangement you're after and it makes no odds what religion the nanny is.

Does it matter to you?

Original poster
GloriaInEleusis · 26/12/2007 19:02

Yeah, I didn't think I could ask about it. But, my current nanny is Anglican and it has definitely enhanced the binding at the school gate. There is a mum who goes to the same church she goes to (different from the one we go to, which is the one connected to the school) and they have become pretty good friends. And their church activities is what they have in common. I didn't set out looking for this but it has really been a good thing but I doesn't look like I can legally ask this question.

Funny though, the greataupair.com sight asks both parents and annies/aupairs what their religeon is.

OP posts:
NKF · 26/12/2007 19:00

Maybe it's one of those heavily evangelical schools.

NKF · 26/12/2007 19:00

Maybe it's one of those heavily evangelical schools.

Magrat · 26/12/2007 18:39

as an aside is religion a bonding thing at your CofE school then? I find that rather surprising I must say (my children go to a community school which by default being in England is CofE) .. I never considered CofE to be a 'strong bonding' religion .. not like Islam, Catholic or Jewish schools to be honest

Magrat · 26/12/2007 18:36

no you can't ask and tbh I don't think I know any parent who wants to hang out with a nanny

me23 · 26/12/2007 18:27

friendship is more about personality than religion. unless these people are deeply religious and only stick with their 'own' in which case probably better to steer clear anyway.

GeekgirlRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 26/12/2007 18:12

why would that give much of an indication of whether they'd get on anyway? I'm an atheist and my best friend is very religious, it makes no difference to our friendship (if anything it enhances it IYSWIM).
People can be nice or horrible no matter what they choose to believe in.

NKF · 26/12/2007 18:10

She won't want to hang out with other parents any way.

snowfunwhenyoureknackered · 26/12/2007 18:08

dont think you can ask this, sorry