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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Why do people complain about childcare costs?

453 replies

Teawithsugar40 · 08/01/2022 12:49

I’m a working mother and 65% (was previously near 100%) of my salary goes on childcare, we get by but holidays etc are out of the question. We’re not rich and have small children, it’s just how it is. I don’t resent what we pay and feel quite lucky that we’re a few hundred better off than if I was doing the equally important job of caring for my children full time.
Maybe because when I had my first child there was absolutely no childcare help and scant provision but I really don’t understand so many people these days complaining about childcare costs, especially when it still leaves them better off working? Totally understand single parents needing help and thankfully they have had generous help for years but why are couples who are definitely not on the breadline complaining? Did they seriously think they could have children without making any sacrifices and why do they expect people often worse off them themselves to pay for maintaining their previous lifestyle?

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Tillsforthrills · 09/01/2022 12:01

I find your post entirely coherent.

So tired of people moaning about paying £10 p/h for their child/children to be fed, safe, entertained for a very long day at nursery or a childminders.

There’s a complete lack of thought of looking at it this way.

There is help for those who need it, rightly so.

So sad that people complain about their childcare being another ‘expensive bill’. Your children are priority and it will be tight for most before they go to school.

If you ‘pay to work’ it’s not for a prolonged time and we certainly benefit in the long run from no career breaks. It has to be looked at in the long run.

Government is to blame for high cost of living and need to step in to help any struggling parents trying to keep the economy going by working and the cost of childcare/taxes/bills.

millymae · 09/01/2022 11:57

People complain because it’s a large chunk of their income going on something that when a child gets to school age is for the large part free free unless you choose to educate privately.
It seems to be generally accepted that attending nursery gives a child a good start in life and this being so it surely adds weight to the argument that nursery places should be free, or at least very heavily subsidised so everyone can afford to access them if they want to. How the country could fund this I have no idea!
That said, when you consider what tradesmen, solicitors etc charge per hour for their services current nursery fees are a bargain

Original poster
Teawithsugar40 · 09/01/2022 11:51

@MintJulia

I think quite a large proportion of new parents don't realise just how expensive childcare can be. Ds is a teen now but as a lone mum in 2010, I paid £750 a month. I earned a good salary but it was still fairly tight for the first year.
I can sympathise with that, that it comes as a bit of a shock along with all the other aspects of parenthood that come as a shock. I do genuinely sympathise, it’s just the ones that feel so indignant about it and expect everyone else to be funding it for them (for single parents and low income there are more than enough good reasons why we absolutely should)
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Original poster
Teawithsugar40 · 09/01/2022 11:46

@Sofiegiraffe

What I feel is also unfair is the massive discrepancy between costs in the north and south of the country. I have friends in London who are paying more than double what I pay in the north of England for the same number of hours of childcare. FT childminder for my dd is around £700 pm (£35 per day). This is by no means an insignificant chunk of our monthly family income. I can't imagine it being double that.
Everything is more expensive down south, the rent/cost of property for the nursery/childminder, the staff need higher wages as they have higher living expenses, the tradesmen they need to maintain the building will need to be paid more else how are they to live. It’s fully understandable why any service costs more down South. Wages parents receive tend to be higher down there to reflect that too
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Original poster
Teawithsugar40 · 09/01/2022 11:41

@Echobelly

People complain because of situations like the one I found myself in where I was quite grateful to be made redundant at the end of my mat leave with second DC as x2 childcare costs would have been 150% of my salary (and we were not eligible for any help beyond childcare vouchers, which barely scratch the surface of London costs). Redundancy payout meant I could afford not to work until my oldest started school. I know a few women, including SIL, who basically had to 'pay to work' (or rather their partners did) for a few years and if feels very uncomfortable.
I don’t deny childcare costs are significant part of earnings, they are for us too! I was spending 100% of my salary on childcare costs until recently but that was a choice I made so I didn’t resent it as it was my choice we had enough for the basics (although still have debts we want to clear so actually in theory we didn’t) I didn’t have to continue my career, my husband could of scaled back his career (the fact he is the higher earner is irrelevant unless it means we’d be left without enough for basics) If we decided to have 2 children close together our childcare costs too would be be significantly over my salary, I don’t see that as an injustice as 2 small children are jolly hard work, most jobs are less work than chasing after 2 toddlers! It would just be something we’d have to work out between according to our priorities
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Sofiegiraffe · 09/01/2022 11:32

What I feel is also unfair is the massive discrepancy between costs in the north and south of the country. I have friends in London who are paying more than double what I pay in the north of England for the same number of hours of childcare. FT childminder for my dd is around £700 pm (£35 per day). This is by no means an insignificant chunk of our monthly family income. I can't imagine it being double that.

MintJulia · 09/01/2022 10:45

I think quite a large proportion of new parents don't realise just how expensive childcare can be.
Ds is a teen now but as a lone mum in 2010, I paid £750 a month. I earned a good salary but it was still fairly tight for the first year.

Echobelly · 09/01/2022 10:43

People complain because of situations like the one I found myself in where I was quite grateful to be made redundant at the end of my mat leave with second DC as x2 childcare costs would have been 150% of my salary (and we were not eligible for any help beyond childcare vouchers, which barely scratch the surface of London costs). Redundancy payout meant I could afford not to work until my oldest started school. I know a few women, including SIL, who basically had to 'pay to work' (or rather their partners did) for a few years and if feels very uncomfortable.

Original poster
Teawithsugar40 · 09/01/2022 10:43

@sweetbellyhigh

In addition you completely ignore how I’ve said that the fantastic ECE provision offered by childrens centres which children can attend with their parents from birth is something I absolutely think we should invest more in and be available to all in society, alongside funded childcare for the poorest and the 15 hours preschool provision for all children over 3 (disadvantaged children over 2)

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Original poster
Teawithsugar40 · 09/01/2022 10:38

@sweetbellyhigh

Just personally I’m happy for schooling to come out or our taxes as it benefits children directly, free childcare for couples who are not struggling is just to help maintain a lifestyle

Again, an ignorant post. Early years care is education (ECE) and again, progressive societies recognise the child's first 1000 days as make it or break it time. It is for the betterment of society as a whole that 0-3yo have access to quality ECE. It is grossly unfair to limit access to "the haves" and has lifelong implications for entire cohorts of society.

The have nots are entitled to 80% of their child care costs and receive the funded 15 hours from 2 years, the original post was clearly never about the have nots 🙄 so why are you implying I have views that I have not stated.
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Original poster
Teawithsugar40 · 09/01/2022 10:35

@Tillsforthrills

Childcare seems to be roughly £10 per hour in London, give or take.

Out of that usually come a lot of costs.

Why do people find that so astronomical? Why do so many begrudge the childcarer a wage? I just don’t get it.

If you can’t afford it that’s unfortunate but it’s not extortionate by any means Confused

Exactly, and if you genuinely can’t afford it out of the family income then in the majority of cases you will be entitled to help anyway
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Original poster
Teawithsugar40 · 09/01/2022 10:33

@Simonjt

And also your green eyed monster claim is completely illogical, we would personally benefit hugely if we received free childcare!! We’d be one of those mc families off on our holidays with the £700 a month (plus £1500 a year holiday care) we spend on childcare!

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Original poster
Teawithsugar40 · 09/01/2022 10:29

above not about

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Original poster
Teawithsugar40 · 09/01/2022 10:28

@Simonjt

It’s not a fact that a child going to nursery/childminder is automatically superior to being cared for by its parents. There is evidence that the 15 funded pre school hours every child is entitled to at 3 is beneficial but not much evidence beyond that. Support for certain disadvantaged groups whether in terms of benefits or childcare is beneficial but not for most mc children, there just isn’t the evidence of any long term benefits of anything about 15 hours preschool education from 3. I agree with the current schemes in so far as tax payers need to feel their getting something back, that’s all. Sorry we’ll just have to agree to disagree

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Original poster
Teawithsugar40 · 09/01/2022 10:19

@Pugroll

It is expensive though and yet its not enough as staff deserve much higher wages than they get. Again, if you see the value of it it's so bizarre you aren't annoyed at the government who give zero shits about the sector and instead aim annoyance towards people who go on holiday?!
I absolutely think the government should be funding it at the going rate for the childcare sector, even if that means they have to reduce the actual number of funded hours. I just find it insulting to childcare workers and mothers at home that people imply childcare not even worth £5 an hour. If I was buying a house built by a builder on minimum wage at little over cost price for materials and I had enough income to pay the mortgage on that house I wouldn’t be complaining like some parents do about childcare, no would I be expecting someone else to pay for it for me. If I was poor or ill that’s a different matter entirely, the county needs to invest more money in housing for them!
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Original poster
Teawithsugar40 · 09/01/2022 10:12

@caringcarer

My dd in Bristol had to pay £1900 pcm for 1 child at full time nursery. I helped pay the fees because by the time she paid her car expenses and fuel cost for car she had very little left. She took a year off on mat leave then went back to work as wanted to keep her career going. They saved prior to having baby as knew first 2 years with baby would be tough. She could not have second child until first child got some government free hours. They would love a third child but she told me that they simply cannot afford to pay 2 lots of childcare costs at the same time. First child just started school but she still has to pay after school clubs and breakfast clubs for him in order to them both to work full time. I wish I was closer to help out more.
Is nice you helped them out so she could keep career going. Would be the same for us if we had 2 close together. She could always have 3rd a year before youngest started school (assuming a years maternity leave) or would they consider moving to not such expensive part of country? Up here is about £900 per month for full time place for 1 child (with the TFC discount) suppose depends if she’s able to get the same kind of job elsewhere
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caringcarer · 09/01/2022 10:00

My dd in Bristol had to pay £1900 pcm for 1 child at full time nursery. I helped pay the fees because by the time she paid her car expenses and fuel cost for car she had very little left. She took a year off on mat leave then went back to work as wanted to keep her career going. They saved prior to having baby as knew first 2 years with baby would be tough. She could not have second child until first child got some government free hours. They would love a third child but she told me that they simply cannot afford to pay 2 lots of childcare costs at the same time. First child just started school but she still has to pay after school clubs and breakfast clubs for him in order to them both to work full time. I wish I was closer to help out more.

Pugroll · 09/01/2022 08:00

It is expensive though and yet its not enough as staff deserve much higher wages than they get. Again, if you see the value of it it's so bizarre you aren't annoyed at the government who give zero shits about the sector and instead aim annoyance towards people who go on holiday?!

sweetbellyhigh · 09/01/2022 05:26

@Simonjt

Absolutely.

OP did not in fact have a question so much as a rant, yet another version of the "But I work hard" trope.

Simonjt · 09/01/2022 04:51

@sweetbellyhigh

Just personally I’m happy for schooling to come out or our taxes as it benefits children directly, free childcare for couples who are not struggling is just to help maintain a lifestyle

Again, an ignorant post. Early years care is education (ECE) and again, progressive societies recognise the child's first 1000 days as make it or break it time. It is for the betterment of society as a whole that 0-3yo have access to quality ECE. It is grossly unfair to limit access to "the haves" and has lifelong implications for entire cohorts of society.

OP repeatedly ignores the fact that childcare benefits children, she also ignores the fact that reception with is free is essentially free childcare due to it not being a school year.

The green eyes monster is very strong.

sweetbellyhigh · 09/01/2022 02:22

Just personally I’m happy for schooling to come out or our taxes as it benefits children directly, free childcare for couples who are not struggling is just to help maintain a lifestyle

Again, an ignorant post. Early years care is education (ECE) and again, progressive societies recognise the child's first 1000 days as make it or break it time. It is for the betterment of society as a whole that 0-3yo have access to quality ECE. It is grossly unfair to limit access to "the haves" and has lifelong implications for entire cohorts of society.

Tillsforthrills · 09/01/2022 00:53

Childcare seems to be roughly £10 per hour in London, give or take.

Out of that usually come a lot of costs.

Why do people find that so astronomical? Why do so many begrudge the childcarer a wage? I just don’t get it.

If you can’t afford it that’s unfortunate but it’s not extortionate by any means Confused

Original poster
Teawithsugar40 · 09/01/2022 00:21

[quote cafedesreves]@Teawithsugar40 why not pay for school, then?[/quote]
You could say that about anything why not pay individually for schooling, healthcare, police etc or the other extreme that all housing, food etc should be free.
Just personally I’m happy for schooling to come out or our taxes as it benefits children directly, free childcare for couples who are not struggling is just to help maintain a lifestyle

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cafedesreves · 09/01/2022 00:05

@Teawithsugar40 why not pay for school, then?

Original poster
Teawithsugar40 · 08/01/2022 23:47

@Cas112

This is a stupid question, because it is ridiculously expensive that's why
It’s not ridiculously expensive for what parents are paying for though, the care provided for their children and the fact that enables them to earn a salary, maintain their career etc
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