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Original poster

6 week maternity leave, DC3 - realistic?

63 replies

TwoYearsMarried · 02/01/2022 20:41

DC no 3 due 15 June. Planned. I am the main breadwinner (by far). Six weeks ago I landed a huge new client which could really 'make' the rest of my career. I am 35 so this is a big success story so early on.

This will be our DC no 3 and I only went back to work in August 2021 after DC 2, so the gap will be v short. Work will not be expecting DC3 at all when I eventually break the news... 😬

This time around I really don't feel as though I need a long break like the others, especially having only recently gone back. I don't want to hand over this new client to someone else in our company for any longer than 6-8 weeks because it is such a fundamental time in developing the relationship. At the moment the client wants, and has, me on tap. They will be bringing in close to £1m in revenue a year for the company, so it's a fairly big deal (for me, anyway).

As such I am considering taking 6-8 weeks off and going back 3-4 days a week after that. My husband works for our family business so taking paternity leave isn't really an option for him. The most obvious solution is for me to work from home until the baby is 6-7 months old with a nanny in the next room of our house. I'd then always be "with" the baby but also not, if you see what I mean... I would combination feed so that bottles are easy to mix up during the day.

Work will support whatever I choose to do and will pretty much bend over backwards for me.

Am I being wholly unrealistic? Has anyone else with an intense job done likewise and how did you find it?

Other consideration for you wise MNs is the financial side. Going back after just 6-8 weeks will of course benefit my company, but likewise, probably to the same extent, benefits me personally if I ever left and wanted to take this client with me. By going back so soon, I'm essentially foregoing the 4 months full pay followed by 2 months half pay our firm offer whilst on mat leave. There is no incentive for going back early and sacrificing this enhanced maternity package. I would also need to incur 4x our usual childcare costs by employing a nanny until the baby was old enough to attend nursery (i.e from 6-8 weeks old until it is 6months). That amounts to c£2k a month, so financially it puts me at a big disadvantage. If I didn't give a toss about my career then I'd put my feet up for six months and go back then, but I fear I'd lose this client in the meantime. Am I overstepping the mark to either ask work to compensate for the nanny so that I come back early, or to give me the equivalent in a cash payment of the enhanced maternity pay I would otherwise have received? I fear they will simply say that they can get someone else to cover the client whilst I am off and for me to go away and have a proper break, but I know (and from past experience with my earlier two DC) that someone else being allocated to this client will either (a) put no leg work in, so we'll essentially lose them or (b) get so entrenched with them that by the time I come back it will no longer be my client and all is lost. Stakes are too high for that at this stage.

Any advice please? I am losing sleep over this. I absolutely live for my kids and family but likewise am ambitious and driven. I am so torn!

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LondonMummer · 03/01/2022 08:07

I can't imagine a company paying for your nanny or the equivalent mat leave once you are back but if they think you are invaluable you could try to negotiate a pay rise and you could use these costs as a reason for asking now.

Soulstirring · 03/01/2022 08:05

I went back after 6 weeks with my first and 12 with my second. I loved my job, had recently had promotions etc. I didn’t gain anything from the company the first time round except being sidelined, I had to sit my immediate boss down and threaten acas. Second time round I was given a promotion just as I went on mat leave and promised by my director I would be looked after properly this time. All well until they retired and new management came in who couldn’t care less about mu loyalty. My advice, do it for you only. Don’t be under any illusion the company will thank you or think more of you long term. That being said I absolutely would discuss an enhancement with them for returning for their benefit too.

A better solution is your husband though, surely for the first 6 months.
He can legally take the paternity leave regardless of the family business element.

Congratulations and good luck!

Thissucksmonkeynuts · 03/01/2022 08:04

NZ doesn't generally support maternal leave like the UK does AFAIK, 12 weeks? So maybe not the best example.
It sounds like you have a plan OP, and it will be worth it, which surprises me to be say this. I'm out the other side of child bareing now and can see the cost to my business of have children, and I'm not even remotely a high earner.

VitaminA · 03/01/2022 07:59

Going back that early is entirely possible, but you need to know what your limits are. Eg, I can't cope with sleep deprivation at all. So I would only have considered going back if I had a night nanny. I also wouldn't have breastfed because pumping is a major PITA, even when you're at home all day.
I would definitely go for it, I have 3 DC and while it is a lot of work, it's also true that babies are much easier than toddlers. So apart from the sleep part, I think it's actually easier to work when they're very little.
If you decide to get a nanny, start looking now!

toomuchlaundry · 03/01/2022 07:55

I assume the OP is worried that someone else in the company would build up the personal relationship with the client and they wouldn’t want to transfer back to her after the maternity leave. Also looks as if the OP is thinking that she might leave that company at some point and taking that client (or I assume the client would technically have to follow her as would be covenant to say she can’t take clients with her)

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/01/2022 07:54

Does keeping the client reap any financial gain?

blueflowersinthesnow · 03/01/2022 07:53

I think it all hinges on whether you can find a good nanny. Could you start putting feelers out now and see if it is realistic to find somebody?

Personally I probably could have gone back to work after 6 weeks if I had childcare I could trust (wouldn't have chosen to do so but my work situation was completely different and not comparable).

It does all feel very risky though e.g. what if you/baby has health problems which mean much longer recovery this time, what if you put all this effort in and you lose the client anyway for other reasons etc. But it might be a risk worth taking, only you really know that.

Changelingbutonlyforme · 03/01/2022 07:48

Look up Jacinda Arden. She did exactly this. Although not the working from home part. I believe the beehive has an on-site crèche and her partner took parental leave.

toomuchlaundry · 03/01/2022 07:47

Would the nanny be looking after all your children not just the baby?

I would be surprised if the company offered to pay for a nanny.

InMincePieRehabBackSoon · 03/01/2022 07:41

Why would you lose the client if you took six months?

Missteebeee · 03/01/2022 07:35

Good nannies are quite hard to find

In five years time what will your biggest regret be? Not taking the full maternity leave or losing the deal?

Good luck x

underneaththeash · 03/01/2022 00:32

You've done it twice before, so you'll know. Could you have performed at full potential at 6 weeks PP?

My oldest is 15, so we went back to work after 6 months and I found that hard. I didn't go back after DC3 - too many children, but if you found a really good nanny?

Original poster
TwoYearsMarried · 02/01/2022 21:11

Bumping up

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