6 week maternity leave, DC3 - realistic?

But is also making a valid point, could you carry on working if your young baby was crying in another part of the house? I don’t think I could.

Some posters here don't realise that valuing your career doesn't make you a bad mum, and that working (even full time) doesn't negatively impact on the relationship with your children. I understand that you can't know this if you've always been a sahm or worked part time, but there's no need to be so unpleasant and say the OP shouldn't have had 3 DC!

OP, if you do an advanced search you will find numerous helpful threads on this topic.

@toomuchlaundry

Guilt the OP about going back to work with “I couldn’t even pop to the shops without baby at that age”- it’s just not nice. It’s implicitly shaming.

@VaguelyInteresting what are you telling another poster not to do?

@JustWonderingIfYou - please don’t do that.

OP- I would float this with your company. See what the response is to what you’re asking, and THEN make your decision.

If you can find the money for the nanny regardless (assume you can) then I would do it and see it not as a true cost, but one that will be recouped down the line.

I think you earn a lot and are ambitious but if you are good at your job you will get to the next level it just might take longer.

For me quality of life is worth more than money.

@TwoYearsMarried
Some firms do this as an incentive to go back, they pay back the equivalent in the enhanced mat pay as a lump sum. If I'm at home for 4 months with my feet up on full pay I'd be earning the same if I were working for them.

Some places may offer it as an incentive (no where I've ever worked but I'm a pauper ) but it's an odd way to look at it. If you're at home "with your feet up" you're getting one lot of pay, if you're at work with an incentive then that's two lots of pay. Bearing in mind, the company probably aren't that bothered about you specifically having the client, there are others that can cover so there may not be any benefit to them to pay double. Equally, I can't see them offering to pay for your childcare for the same reasons.

There's no harm in asking, I suppose. I'd possibly echo a previous poster and try to negotiate a pay rise to cover your costs, but don't tell them that's why!

Hah yes make sure you describe the nanny job as 'sitting about with your feet up'...

Describing Mat leave as putting your feet up- I’d say yes go back to work you clearly don’t value the time- which is fine we are all different (not quite sure why you chose to have 3DC)

In the US Mom's get a much shorter maternity leave so have no choice but to go back. My biggest issue would have been the baby waking so much at night my head wouldn't have been ready for concentrating on work all day. Also you already have a young baby so it will be quite hectic for you and for any nanny to manage. If your other dc react badly to the new baby and need more attention for a while how will you manage this.
There is the important part of bonding with his baby as you did with your others and six weeks is a short time.
I fully understand your professional demands but l think for yourself and the baby and your toddler it's all too much.
Could you go back part time solely focusing on this new client?

What about your baby? Your post seems to be just about your career. Maternity is for you to recover but also spend time with your child. I'd be heartbroken to leave dc at that age even for a quick pop to the shops let alone all day. Could you really carry on working if you heard your newborn crying for you? Even the best nanny in the world is not mum.

Women do go back after 6 weeks in some countries but normally it isn't seen as ideal.

Without knowing where you live or what your outgoings are, your currently salary should be significant enough to ensure you can cover the additional cost for a nanny even if that means saving now for the time.

It sounds from your post that you are committed and passionate about your job and if going back early is something you want to do then you should go for it.

Presumably your DH will be sharing responsibilities with you anyway so the full burden is not on you? Appreciate he can’t take shared parental leave but does he muck in now with childcare / housework etc.

I’d also consider what your options are if you choose not to return once baby is here. Can you back out of going back early and take your mat leave?

Jacinda Arden choosing to take just 6weeks of maternity leave had nothing to do with how much paid maternity leave is available in NZ and everything to do with the fact she’d been elected Prime Minister 8 months beforehand and needed to go back ASAP to keep credibility as leader. I think she found out she was pregnant around the time she accepted the job as Prime Minister. It is actually fairly comparable to OPs situation in that financially there would have been no incentive to go back that early, it was all about keeping credibility with the ´client’ - the people voting for her.

At those salary levels, yes I'd do it.

But at 6 weeks, your baby likely will not sleep through the night. So budget for a night nanny a few nights a week, and then split the other nights with your husband.

Can you go back to work, but use annual leave to only work 4 days a week? Maybe take a week holidays a few weeks in.

Once you've worked with the client and built up a relationship, could you take parental leave later in the year (say when the baby is 8 or 9 months)? That's only if you want to, and don't want to feel you've "missed out" on time at home with the baby.

I work from home and have a nanny minding my toddler twins. I give them lunch every day, and it's great being able to pop down to them when I have a break in meetings.

Could you look at SPL? You don’t actually need to split any leave at all with your partner to do it. You would need to check though that your employer would pay your enhanced maternity pay rate for SPL though. If they did give you the same enhanced pay with SPL then you can take an initial chunk of mat leave of 6 weeks, return to work for a period of time, then take your first block of SPL down the line- perhaps once you’ve established your relationship with client. You can take SPL across 3 chunks plus an additional chunk of mat leave. You are entitled to a total of 52 weeks of SPL I believe and it must end on your child’s first birthday. Check ACAS website for full details.

Meaning financially I'll be looking at earning closer to 250k pa as opposed to 150k now. They are the golden ticket into the next level- usually have to wait 5 years to get to the next level

On one hand it’s a no brained imo. This sentence alone shows it’s career making. Men do this all the fucking time and have babies so I wholeheartedly think that women should grab the same bill by both horns.

But.. will you be physically able? Without knowing how labour will be or how the new baby will be it’s difficult to say whether you’ll feel up to it.

I set some KIT days up for 6 weeks PP this time because I hated my last loooong boring maternity leave but when the time came I was still recovering from emcs and the baby has some unknown uncomfort so I cancelled them.

I’m self employed; baby is nearly 2 weeks old and I’ll probably start doing bits and pieces again next week, I think. It’ll be quite flexible & from home; but I think I’ll start.

I know people who didn’t take much of a break at all; and people who couldn’t have functioned adding work in to the mix too… it really depends on your personality, how well you cope, and your baby, I think.

My mum took six weeks with me. If you can have a FT nanny for the two kids under 1 I would do it. I don’t think nursery offers much to little babies and it’ll save you money. I would also pay for some night support so that you sleep (maybe 2 nights a week?). Also use some leave (?AL) to work 4 days a week for another 2 months.

I’m not in your line of work but if you have a bonus structure I would seriously ask for this to reflect your choice to give up mat pay.

You have a strange way of talking about maternity leave. Did you not do much with your previous babies when on maternity leave (although I assume one was a lockdown baby). Not sure I would be too impressed if someone had said I was just sitting at home with my feet up when I was on maternity leave

I went back to an intense job at 16 weeks after having DD3 and all was fine. DH had her the days I worked (3 days a week) and I mixed fed with no problems. Before going back fully I did quite a few KIT days, so it felt like I didn't really leave my key clients. Like you I am the main breadwinner and I enjoy my job and knew how I would recover from my 2 previous births/night wakings. I would ask for mat costs to pay your additional childcare costs, can't really hurt to try! In the very least company might pay you what the would have spent recruiting a mat leave cover

I've done 12 weeks with DC1 and it was fine, I wanted to go back and performed as well as previously (maybe a little better as I was used to squeezing every minute of time).

I'm currently at 6 weeks of mat leave with DC2 and would be happy and able to go back to work now if due to.

I think in a lot of ways it's easier to go back sooner because you're more familiar with everything happening at work still.

It sounds workable, albeit absolute hell (to me).

6 weeks off does not necessarily mean the baby will be 6 weeks old unless you are working until your waters break...?

I've recently had my 3rd and it has been absolutely wonderful, however I felt horrendous for the first 4-6 weeks (my 3rd c section). My DD is a good sleeper but I am still tired. Really tired. Will the nanny do the school and nursery run? The hardest part of having a 3rd for me has been trying to run around with the other 2. Eg eldest going to swimming lessons, I need to take 2 other children, get him changed, sit at the side with a toddler and baby etc. Repeat for beavers, ballet etc. Every school run involves the baby getting chucked in a sling or pram whether she is awake, asleep, whatever. Will the nanny run the rest of family life while you're working?

We will be getting a nanny when I go back to work to do all of that stuff and do the school run etc. I'm going back part time after 12 months and even that feels daunting (and expensive!).

I fully understand the desire to return to work and deal with the client. Is it a long-term thing or will there be a chance to take time off maybe the following year or something?

I don’t think you can ask the company to pay you your mat pay as a lump sum regardless of what you decide - you will be receiving your salary on returning, why would they choose to be out of pocket