Ap...I'm being petty but this has really peed me off!

thanks jingles I'm about to pay AP for christmas and have explained in writing so there are no more mis understandings.

I have just got a one quick question on this subject!
I have recently being giving our AP £130 instead of £100 extra a week for the past 6 weeks. This arrangement is only when I do some freelance work. This is just for to keep her happy as I'm working FT but AP hours remain the same except that she is expected to be a bit more cooking for the kids and more responsibility.
AP is going home for xmas and I thought i might pay her a weeks holiday at her request ( although not due until Feb as she's already had one 6 weeks ago) she's expecting it to be £130 x2 I was only going to give her £100 plus £130 and airfare home. The extra money is not a pay rise but only when i'm doing some freelance work - as i made perfectly clear and could otherwise not afford it. Am I being fair?

What about "valid gripes about silly nannies/au pairs"?

lol at the Pastor!!

Oh gawd... that would drive me insane. Luckily my nanny is a devoted Anglican who believith not in premarital sex. So I shall never have to worry about her chasing anyone in my house. I have a house rule that no boys are allowed in the house when we are not home and so once she told the pastor he couldn't come over.

Whe she told me this I said "ermmm... I think he'll be okay."

I think we should have a 'petty complaints about APs' thread, I could run that myself....

BTW, Jingle, if my nanny was acting like your au pair you bet ya I'd be looking at receipts. I did consider giving her one weeks less expenses this month since she'll be off for christmas (expenses meaning the extra kitty she has for spending on stuff for the kids). But, in the end, I decided I couldn't be arsed to rework the sums and just left it as the usual amount.

Indeed Gloria, I think you are right. Methinks she may have a teensy bit of a crush too, he is SUCH a handsome hunk she talks to him much more than she talks to me.

Luckily she is not his type, or at least when I last checked....

Oh, faithful, I guess your au pair thinks your DH wears the pants... don't you worry your pretty little head now.

Jingles what a madam, especially as not doing a full week, I would buy muyself a big box of chocs and some really decent wine with her bonus!

Mine has gone already, am quite glad of a few weeks off tbh.

I gave her 100 Euros and the children made her presents and cards. DD also bought her a book with her own money from the school fair (she only gets £1 a week) and we chose a lovely hat, scarf and gloves from Monsoon.

She didn't even give the DCs a Christmas card! I am quite cross about this, she also sent me an email saying to thank my DH for the Euros. Well a) I blardy bought them and b) my DH was in Canada/USA and if it was left to him his own family wouldn't get a thing. GGRR.

Mighty, I'm surprised you have to buy your own food. Is this because you don't like the food they buy, or is there nothing to eat?

In response to Jingle's question (you'll have to rewind - sorry) he is seriously good with the children who really really like him. He's really willing and helpful too.

He'll initiate lots of projects with them - baking, making stuff, expeditions to museums etc

But he doesn't do any cleaning at all though, that's not the deal.

Oh at 24 she is being a brat then, and you are right, she is very well paid.

I envisioned her as about 19

er... aye, perhaps I was being a bitter old hag, eh?
Must show how nice Jingles is that she's so relaxed and comfortable she's stropping like a good 'un!

I know she's meant to be more of an "older sister" but the £20 as I understood it is ON TOP of her pocket money, to provide petrol and a couple of extras.

So to moan about not getting extras that weren't meant to be part of her spending money seems to be swinging the lead a bit, no?

I've got friends who live in and it's all give and take but she's not even going to be there for half of the week!

I thought that was kind of the deal with Au Pairs, niftyNanny, and that is why they get pocket money rather than a live in nanny's wage? They are supposed to be treated as one of the family, a teenage son/daughter type arrangement. It's unreasonable to pay them pocket money and expect a nanny's maturity.

I agree you shouldn't give her gadding money - but don't be surprised that she's not acting like a 30 year old woman, or that she has come to expect it. If she was mature and adult and responsible, she's be a nanny.

JinglesBells, I don't see why you should pay for her Christmas socialising either - especially not by funding petrol that's supposed to be for driving your kids around!

Perhaps you could tactfully suggest that if she wants to go tripping around all over the place she shouldn't buy so many drinks once she gets there - after all, isn't that what proper grown ups have to do, budget for things?

She sounds like she thinks she's another one of your brood "but Muuuuuuuuuuum that's not FAIR!!"

I know nannyj but the family eats none of the same food as me- i have simple tastes, sandwiches and stuff, but even their bread isnt what I eat! I also buy my own loo roll, as theres never enough!

For the lady who has already paid her yearly holiday money to her au pair, what will you do if she wants to leave before her year is up?

Don't let child care workers take advantage just because you need them.

I have been an au pair, mother's help and nanny and am now a mum and I am rather shocked/surprised at some of the goings on posted on here.

Mightymoosh live in nannies shouldn't buy their own food thats part of the deal and why we get paid less than live outs. Not that i've ever taken the p*%& just eaten whats in the fridge but it's kind off seen as part of your salary.