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Original poster

Mother smoking while taking kid out pram at preschool

33 replies

Enod · 09/11/2021 22:01

Just one of the scenes that I find disturbing. DD1 (3.5) says xyz “called me stupid”, other xyz licked my face, another xyz hit me, another xyz ran me over in playground - and she’s learning loads of bad habits - licking table (!), saying go away all the time. Should I take her out the school? Or is she just being creative? I’ve seen the kids going in, they’re very intense - many of them anyway.

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Pinotforever · 13/11/2021 20:27

I didn't say I would pull my child out of school no but she literally asked a question, that's all. People can be so quick to jump down each other's necks on here

PurpleDaisies · 10/11/2021 16:52

@Pinotforever

Christ alive she asked a question. I definitely wouldn't want to see someone with a fag in their mouth with a kid in a pushchair. Smoke on your own time, not near the school. I smoke and wouldn't dream of it
You wouldn’t seriously think of pulling your kid out of school because of it though? That’s a totally disproportionate response.
Pinotforever · 10/11/2021 16:50

Christ alive she asked a question. I definitely wouldn't want to see someone with a fag in their mouth with a kid in a pushchair. Smoke on your own time, not near the school. I smoke and wouldn't dream of it

NellieBertram · 10/11/2021 11:48

Your kid is going to come in contact with "rough" parents & kids throughout school (and life).

pjani · 10/11/2021 11:42

Maybe ask to have the thread title changed or start a new one. What you’re really worried about is the change in your DC’s behaviour since starting school and the influence of another child or children, is that right? The bit about smoking is a red herring. People will be able to offer better advice if you structure your Q around your concerns about the changes in your child.

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/11/2021 11:37

Surprised smoking was allowed inside pre school grounds

Babyfg · 09/11/2021 22:58

Your kids going to meet loads of less than perfect children no matter where she goes (like us with annoying work colleagues etc). I got my child in to the 'best' school in the area (more so as we were part of the community it was local etc)....he's in the 'difficult' class 🙄

Has your dd just started. She might be tired if she's not been before. It takes them a little while to adjust, especially if she's not used to being around other children.

Blue4YOU · 09/11/2021 22:51

Are parents not allowed to smoke? Makes no difference if it’s a disgusting addiction but I’m sure she smokes in other places too.
I’ve no idea why that image links to how children behave though…

Original poster
Enod · 09/11/2021 22:48

@JurgensCakeBaby thank you

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Original poster
Enod · 09/11/2021 22:47

Yeah it’s mostly just a sad vision. Mum hauling kid out push chair, fag hanging out mouth. My DD has become a bit more tantrummy and does weird things since joining (getting angry through gritted teeth) so it’s the whole vibe I’m not sure is great for her.

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JurgensCakeBaby · 09/11/2021 22:47

Our nursery doesn't allow smoking in the grounds, including the carpark, so that would've struck me as wrong too. Some of the rest of it take with a pinch of salt, DS' keyworker commented on how he'd dressed up as a combine harvester for Halloween, he absolutely didn't, he's just got a vivid imagination. On that basis I don't believe everything he says goes on at nursery. If you are happy with the setting I don't see anything out of the ordinary other than the smoking and that was one parent. It's a good teaching point that 'we don't use words like that' or to reinforce manners regardless of what see others do.
Through the window a few weeks ago I saw DS at the dinner table, he looked around to make sure no nursery teachers were watching then licked the table, the rest of the children on his table fell about laughing. He doesn't behave like that at home, and I told him I'd seen him through the window, and we spoke about behaviour at the dinner table. He knows it's not ok because he checked to make sure he wasn't being watched by an adult. Children test boundaries and are sometimes cheeky, that's normal.

titchy · 09/11/2021 22:43

Princess Margaret used to chain smoke!

Original poster
Enod · 09/11/2021 22:39

Ok ok I got it. Not a big deal. Thanks for your feedback!

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Original poster
Enod · 09/11/2021 22:22

@LoveFall thanks for making me feel less like an idiot

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Garfunkle · 09/11/2021 22:22

You saw a patent smoking?! 😱 Good Lord! Move house and change your dc school - like now!!

🙄

LoveFall · 09/11/2021 22:18

I understand how you feel OP. A mother smoking like that would be very jarring to me too. It would not be allowed on school grounds, that's for sure. It is hard to feel a sense of belonging when people are doing things that you are not used to.

I might be inclined to ask if parent's could be asked not to smoke around the children during pick up and drop off.

Original poster
Enod · 09/11/2021 22:13

@Steelesauce I’ve spent time with my own kids only really. There was a pandemic, we also moved house, they don’t have cousins etc etc

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Steelesauce · 09/11/2021 22:11

Have you not spent any time around kids? They're weird creatures with no impulse control.

Original poster
Enod · 09/11/2021 22:11

@PurpleDaisies 👍🏿

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Original poster
Enod · 09/11/2021 22:10

@Steelesauce thanks I honestly wasn’t sure - this is the first time she’s been in a school or nursery. And she’s DD1 so I’m clueless. Her behaviour has gotten worse tho, I think

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PurpleDaisies · 09/11/2021 22:09

Of course it’s grim.

It’s an utterly bonkers reason to change school. Bonkers.

Steelesauce · 09/11/2021 22:09

All of the things you have listed are completely normal kid things.

Original poster
Enod · 09/11/2021 22:09

@PurpleDaisies not enough maybe. Just looked a bit grim to me

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Original poster
Enod · 09/11/2021 22:08

@dalmatianmad I meant could my DD being creative (as In making all this up about other kids at school)

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PurpleDaisies · 09/11/2021 22:07

You saw one parent smoking and you think you need to change schools? Really?
Have you spent any time in the real world?