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Original poster

Looking after grandchild - favour of not?

37 replies

Mangomammy · 05/09/2021 21:54

Interested to know peoples views on grandparents looking after grandchildren on a regular basis. Do you see this as a favour, or is it expected because it’s family?

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Galaxyinmypocket · 05/09/2021 22:52

Our family is a mix of both, partly it's a favour when I have appointments etc and sometimes we are offered.
It has caused arguments in the past because I suppose I always expected that that is what grandparents do, that they enjoy it.
The grandparent in question doesnt work and never has, I have been absolutely ill with mental health problems in the past and then accused of being a user when I begged for help.
Things have changed now, probably because the children are older and it's easier to have them, but sometimes I am made to feel as though I am taking the piss (is 2 nights rather than 1 a piss take? Or an extra hour so I can go shopping for food alone?)

When i am a grandparent I have promised my children I will support them if then need me. I would do it because of love for my child and wanting them to still enjoy their life a bit/ save them money on childcare

Seafog · 05/09/2021 22:42

It was an very appreciated favour, and made a world of difference to is. I am very grateful for the help we had, and would be happy to provide the same if mine have children some day.

DotsandCo · 05/09/2021 22:39

I would walk over hot coals if it was needed, to look after my granddaughter. She's my little soulmate and I love her more than any other living thing...no 'favours' here, it's pure love ❤️

LocalHobo · 05/09/2021 22:19

My DM told me in no uncertain terms that she wanted to be Granny and not a childminder.
I can see where she was coming from.

WTF475878237NC · 05/09/2021 22:14

Never expected it but was offered and happily accepted. Give money for activities and food etc too to make sure they're not out of pocket.

neverornow · 05/09/2021 22:11

No I didn't automatically expect my parents to help out. They do, but as a favor and I usually wait until they offer rather than ask/expect

pumpkinpie01 · 05/09/2021 22:10

I see it as a favour to the parents . I had mine today for 4 hours and took them out twice last week

Margotshypotheticaldog · 05/09/2021 22:10

Absolutely zero expectation. MIL offers occasionally so does the very odd bit of babysitting in an emergency. I prefer to pay for childcare, keeps everything simple.

PlanDeRaccordement · 05/09/2021 22:04

As a parent, I never expected the grandparents to care for my children. They never did do anyway. I think it is a bit entitled for parents to expect grandparents to provide child care.

AnyFucker · 05/09/2021 22:02

I have mine one day and overnight a week. I need my fix.

It is neither a favour nor expected. I love that child more than life itself.

Sleepinghyena · 05/09/2021 22:02

If they haven't asked to be part of your regular childcare routine, it's a favour to you.

Seesawmummadaw · 05/09/2021 21:58

I look after mine a lot. It’s neither a favour or because I have to. I want to.