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Paid childcare

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Family haven't paid. How do I deal with this?

178 replies

UnpaidCare · 06/08/2021 11:00

This has been my first year as a childminder. My contract is clear and has been signed by all parents. I am well qualified, my rates are average for the area. I could charge more it's a shortage area.

I'm looking after one family for 4 weeks of the summer except the next two weeks. This family has had a difficult year I have gone above and beyond to support them.

All should pay me in advance on the last day of the month this family haven't. I mentioned it when I saw them on Tuesday, they spoke about it on Wednesday. I sent a text yesterday which they have seen. They usually text me regularly. I won't see them again until Monday 23rd. They aren't away yet.

They already owe me over £350 for the week that I have done, plus the rest of the month. They have been 2 days late paying before but not this late.

They are getting a good deal with me. Should I give them notice? I have a waiting list. How do I get them to pay?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
UnpaidCare · 22/08/2021 20:51

HalzTangz, Shehasadiamondinthesky and Blondeshavemorefun more recent updates will address any questions you have about termination of contract,

Sssloou you absolutely called it, though I think they picked Friday to come round because they thought that I would have children here.

DH is rarely seen by CM parents, though he is always here as he WFH - Needless to say, he is DBS checked. His car is usually in the garage. DH's study is on the middle floor, back of the house.

From the back of the house you can see cars approaching on the road in the distance.

You can't park on the road outside of our house. Anyone has to drive through the gates. We have parking in front of the garages and in front of the house.

We have a Ring doorbell and cameras outside of our house.

My DFriend was visiting with her baby.

All of this is relevant.

Among the chaos of last week DH and I had worked out how much I owed the non-paying parents.

As he saw the approach of their 4 x 4 along the back lane and immediately logged into my CM banking app and transferred the calculated amount of the overpayment back to the non-paying parents.

The money was there and DH was downstairs telling me this before they got through the gates of our house.

Non-payingDad has not been here very often. He bears more than a passing resemblance to the Come Dine With Me what a sad little life Jane man.

As I looked outside I saw their DCs in the car very sweetly waving at me. It looked like they were on the way back from the airport, that they hadn't been home yet.

NPDad stormed up to the front door, followed by NPMum. Everything is captured on camera.

NPDad started by shouting at me, NPMum was looking unusually flustered, tried to interrupt him a few times and correct some of the things he was saying and get him to calm down, but no! He was going to have his say the truth was unimportant and he knew that he was right! He did a lot of finger jabbing, though knew he shouldn't actually touch me.

My friend was looking out from the front window on the LH side. As she could be seen from the driveway he did, at one point, shout as her, telling her that I am a thieving bitch and that I shouldn't be trusted to look after her children.

It was around this point that DH appeared from around the side of the house. DH is tall possibly relevant I don't think that NPParents knew who he is or why he was there.

It seemed like a non-sequitur when DH started saying that this is a rural area and residents had to take appropriate security measures against people breaking in at night. This was enough to momentarily take the wind out of NPDad's sails, as NPDad looked at DH he pointed to all of the surveillance equipment, then said there are three adult witnesses to your behaviour today the CCTV will back up everything we have said, I know that your employers will be interested to learn about this, as will the Police.

And you've never seen a middle aged bloke move as quickly as NPDad captured on CCTV turning around and heading for his car. Leaving his wife to follow him in a quick shuffle.

So, hopefully that is the end of NPParents.

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 22/08/2021 15:35

I hope you have managed to resolve things to your satisfaction.

HalzTangz · 22/08/2021 10:53

Ignore this I just saw they made a random payment so clearly in a country with no internet bans.
I would still terminate and stick with that as they will mess you around again

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 22/08/2021 10:40

@Tangledtresses

I'd text them saying until they pay what they owe you won't be able to look after the children on the 23rd. And will be taking on another child from your extensive waiting list
Yes this definitely. I would not entertain people who messed me about. You have your bills to pay.
HalzTangz · 22/08/2021 10:37

@UnpaidCare

Sssloou I am waiting for two weeks because they are on holiday abroad. They have had reminders and even reminded me themselves.

They said it's nearly time to pay you at pick up sometime in the week beginning 26th July.

My verbal reminder on Tuesday 3rd.

Them instigating a conversation about it on Wednesday 4th.

My text on Thursday 5th.

My email at lunchtime on Friday 6th.

I am waiting until the 22nd before a second email because, as I say they are abroad. Of course they may have already made alternative arrangements for Monday 23rd onwards, but I doubt it.

They have no family locally and they haven't been here long. I don't expect that they have had time to get to know many local people who can help.

After I posted here I also posted a blind message on the local Facebook CM group, it is unlikely that they will be able to find another CM as the Facebook group is a proper hub of gossip activity.

This is only if they haven't paid my money plus the vig Grin.

Just something to note, depending where they are abroad they may not have access to their online banking to make payment, however they should reply to the email an tell you that if that is the case. I suspect though they have no money an burying their heads in the sand by ignoring messages and emails
RoisinD · 22/08/2021 09:27

Sounds like a lot has been happening. Hopefully resolved to your satisfaction.

UnpaidCare · 22/08/2021 00:28

That should be 1am on Friday night/Saturday morning for the pedantic people Grin

OP posts:
UnpaidCare · 22/08/2021 00:27

Sorry, in the end DH and I were talking until 1am on Friday, going over what had happened with the non-payers and varying scenarios and our planned approach for Saturday (yesterday).

Because Saturday was the day of serious-family-reunion. With DIllParent, DSiblings assorted DDpouses and DCs including one in utero.

Over the past 48 hours my life has been like a soap opera plot. I'm all over the place emotionally and I need sleep now.

I will do my absolute best to update this thread with the latest in the increasingly weird saga of the non-payers.

Thank you for all of the support you have offered on this thread Thanks

OP posts:
LongTimeMammaBear · 21/08/2021 13:22

Hi @UnpaidCare. Hope you’re ok. Reread the thread to give yourself a boost and confirmation of your actions. You’ve done nothing wrong

SofaSpuds · 21/08/2021 12:28

Stick to your guns @UnpaidCare. You have given the CFs plenty of chances to pay what's owed. Not your problem that they thought your livelihood is none of their concern.
I honestly hope this teaches them a lesson and they learn to treat people with respect, and pay their dues.

Sssloou · 21/08/2021 00:44

Stand your ground.

Calm and positive.

Don’t let them steamroll you.

Keep strong.

MyOtherProfile · 20/08/2021 23:12

Intriguing!

UnpaidCare · 20/08/2021 20:37

Not quite the night before Sssloou.

Had they paid, their DCs would have been back with me on Monday. It all went off today. I wrote a long post only to have it disappear Hmm.

DH is talking, will update when he has finished.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 16/08/2021 13:47

Just give notice

Sssloou · 16/08/2021 08:50

@UnpaidCare

No real news, still nothing back from non-paying parents, there again I don't expect to hear anything atm.

Orchidflower1 DH and I are the same, we like good television/films/music etc, the genre is less important. With that in mind The Sopranos is outstanding. Worth remembering as you watch and it reminds you of other things you have seen: it came before most of the other shows that it reminds you of.

Thank you Thehop, that's very kind. Truth is that I'm not a model of good business sense, that's why I started this thread Grin. The one smart thing I did do was to take all of the advice from my local CM group. They were the ones who gave me the basis for my contract which, along with support from this thread, has been the reason that I could be firm with the non-payers.

Yes you won’t hear anything from them until the night before or even the day that they are due back. Then it will be high drama and emotional manipulation histrionics until they bill doze you into taking them back.

Don’t let them do this to you.

Get ahead of them.

Fill the place with another family so that you are full. Are you in the process of doing this?
Return the extra money.
Set a date for the return of the expensive equipment.

Don’t get into any dialogue with them. You do not need to justify or defend your decision. Only once repeat a simple line from your letter - “non payment means losing place as per contract, contract has been terminated, place has now gone to another family.” Then don’t engage further. Block / delete if they harass you.

I am glad that you have family returning from overseas and a new baby in the family - you all deserve some special times at this difficult time.

UnpaidCare · 15/08/2021 22:35

No real news, still nothing back from non-paying parents, there again I don't expect to hear anything atm.

Orchidflower1 DH and I are the same, we like good television/films/music etc, the genre is less important. With that in mind The Sopranos is outstanding. Worth remembering as you watch and it reminds you of other things you have seen: it came before most of the other shows that it reminds you of.

Thank you Thehop, that's very kind. Truth is that I'm not a model of good business sense, that's why I started this thread Grin. The one smart thing I did do was to take all of the advice from my local CM group. They were the ones who gave me the basis for my contract which, along with support from this thread, has been the reason that I could be firm with the non-payers.

OP posts:
Thehop · 14/08/2021 20:16

@UnpaidCare I am just registering as a childminder after 10 years in a nursery. You’re my inspiration for all things “stand up for yourself!”

Orchidflower1 · 14/08/2021 00:26

Some nicer news there op.

I have never watched the sopranos. Love films such as goodfellas and the godfather so may give it a go. Like my music my taste in TV is quite eclectic. This evening whilst waiting for biggest dc to come back from a garden party, I have watched Dr pimple popper, Friends and a documentary about John Travolta, just watching FBI files now!

MyOtherProfile · 13/08/2021 20:49

Oh some lovely good news there.

UnpaidCare · 13/08/2021 20:26

Thank you all for your kindness DaffodilThanksThanks

@Twinklettoz see my post from last night with an update on the non-paying parents situation. Also, what's your favourite episode of The Sopranos?

In fact everyone, please weigh in with your Sopranos thoughts. If I started a thread on the appropriate board would you help me take my mind off of things by getting involved in a conversation about the show?

No further news today from the non-payers. DH and I calculated how much of the money I should return, as I sent the last termination email I am waiting for them to reply, which they may do when they are back from their holiday.

DSibling is at DParent's, they got there last night and are staying there. Today DSibling did some research on consultants, called round the local private hospitals. We will all be at DParent's on Monday evening for a video consultation Dparent wants us there.

There is a silver lining Smile. Our other DSibling, and spouse have been living abroad for some years now. They had planned to return home in the summer of 2020, they were stuck as a result of Covid. DParent's ill health has hastened their return, they are coming home for good asap.

Other good news DLivingAbroadSibling and spouse are expecting their first baby at Christmas time. We know that they have been trying for years. This has given us all a huge boost today.

DLivingAbroadSibling and spouse are looking for places to rent close to DParent.

OP posts:
glitterelf · 13/08/2021 17:58

@UnpaidCare I'm so sorry to hear about DParent please do contact me anytime whether for advice a sounding board or just a handhold Thanks

Twinklettoz · 13/08/2021 14:53

Agree with all the other posts. You seem very sensitive to their situation, but you make a rod for your own back by being extra accommodating. You're a business and it's your livelihood.. Until payment is received, you can't look after their children again. Simple

Sssloou · 13/08/2021 14:30

So sorry that you have this tough journey ahead of you. Your nursing skills will be helpful but they won’t protect you from the longer term grinding emotional and physical toll.

Pace yourself and be gentle with yourself.

Well done for ejecting these disrespectful donkeys from your life, especially at this time. I hope that your other parents and any news family will be compassionate with you.

Take care.

Orchidflower1 · 13/08/2021 10:49

Sending 🌸 @UnpaidCare you really don’t need no payers like that in your life anyhow but particularly not at the moment.

MyOtherProfile · 12/08/2021 23:37

You're going through so much. The last thing you need is non paying parents. Hope they take this seriously.