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Original poster

Family haven't paid. How do I deal with this?

178 replies

UnpaidCare · 06/08/2021 11:00

This has been my first year as a childminder. My contract is clear and has been signed by all parents. I am well qualified, my rates are average for the area. I could charge more it's a shortage area.

I'm looking after one family for 4 weeks of the summer except the next two weeks. This family has had a difficult year I have gone above and beyond to support them.

All should pay me in advance on the last day of the month this family haven't. I mentioned it when I saw them on Tuesday, they spoke about it on Wednesday. I sent a text yesterday which they have seen. They usually text me regularly. I won't see them again until Monday 23rd. They aren't away yet.

They already owe me over £350 for the week that I have done, plus the rest of the month. They have been 2 days late paying before but not this late.

They are getting a good deal with me. Should I give them notice? I have a waiting list. How do I get them to pay?

OP posts:
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Luckypoppy · 23/08/2021 21:13

Amber countries don't isolate if doubly vaccinated. Tests on day 2 but able to go about normal life. Just in case you were worried. They will also have tested before returning home.

BruceAndNosh · 23/08/2021 14:26

The entitled parents could have made a tiny effort and actually contacted the OP while they were away, but they didn't bother

Sssloou · 23/08/2021 13:15

The CF parents have broken the T&Cs from 31st July.

They ignored repeated requests and reminders to pay up front as per their contract. That’s incredibly ignorant - not just not to pay but to not even acknowledge or respond to repeated communications.

They shouldn’t have been allowed to come that very first week of August because they hadn’t paid for it. That was OPs biggest mistake - not invoking her contractual T&Cs at the time they were broken.

They still hadn’t paid for the week they had already used (£350ish) - until the very final email - when they eventually paid for that week but some additional random amount without any explanation.

At this point they were still underpaid for the month of August without any explanation.

So even now they are still in breach of the T&Cs.

The confrontation is exactly how you would expect these ignorant people to continue behaving.

Entitled and arrogant bullies.

If the OP had terminated instantly she wouldn’t have got her £350 and late pay fees.

I do think that OP was hesitant at a few stages and gave them too much rope - not clear if she gave both an instant written deadline with clear late fee payment AND clear termination consequence on 1st Aug which is when such a process should be initiated.

Seems she was giving them some slack. Never a good idea in business.

I like the idea of PP who runs a nursery where a series of 3 letters are already drafted and only need to pop in names and dates.

With what else the OP has said about the behaviour of these people prior to this I suspect she is glad to have their negative and condescending shadow out of her life.

Good on you OP!

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 23/08/2021 13:03

All the ones with massive cars had to be sent a bill and told their children would be withdrawn if payment wasn’t made every few months.

Doesn't surprise me at all. Rich families think 'they know we're good for the money' so think that makes it all right and they can get round to actually paying when it suits them. Families on a stricter budget are generally mortified that anyone might think they're trying to avoid payment or that they can't afford to meet their financial commitments.

Larryyourwaiter · 23/08/2021 12:28

I worked with someone who left to be a CM. She gave up after a few years, she said because of lack of flexibility as her own kids got older and people just not paying.

DD used to go to an after school activity. We were one of the few families where the children didn’t go to one of the local private schools. I had a normal small car, everyone else had gigantic BMWs and Porsche’s.
I always made sure I paid first session of the month. I forgot once (I had the cash on me) and apologised the next week to the organiser and told her I’d had the money, if I didn’t pay to say as it would be in my bag. She said I was one of the tiny minority that paid without threats. All the ones with massive cars had to be sent a bill and told their children would be withdrawn if payment wasn’t made every few months. It took up loads of her time. They either didn’t care or understand that it was her livelihood.

Original poster
UnpaidCare · 23/08/2021 10:58

In my position it makes perfect sense.

Our house is on a lane, mainly used by farm machinery, there is no reason for anyone to come here unless they are visiting someone on the lane. When DH saw their car he knew that the only reason they would have been driving along the road was to come for a confrontation.

DH and I had discussed it beforehand and we had agreed that I would try to call them on Saturday but if they turned up before then we would pay the money as we had calculated it before they got to our doorstep.

I would have liked to have had a rational conversation with the parents about money, preferably when they were not on their way back from the airport with their DCs in the car.

I still don't know what the payment was for, how long, with or without the interest taken into account etc.

The NPDad & my DH were the only people to speak throughout the whole exchange, NPDad was using phrases or sentences that made sense in themselves, but it was a scattering of phrases that made no sense as a whole. As it happens, he made no mention whatsoever of the money. Nor for that matter of the expensive piece of equipment we have of theirs. Having mentioned it to them already, I am not going to approach them to collect the equipment.

I do not have the power to prevent any other childminder or nursery from taking their DCs on. On my childminding FB group I asked for advice on how to deal with the situation, but took care to make no mention of the names of the people, the sex of their DCs, how many DCs they have in total, or where they live.

Their problem finding childcare will be that it's August, some CMs or nurseries are closed or low on staff and every place I know would want to see the DCs before they take them on.

Also, they have just returned from an Amber country which I think may mean that they should be isolating? I'll admit that I could be wrong on this, I haven't read up on it as we aren't planning to go abroad this year.

Too right I'm feeling snippy. If you read the thread and if you have seen the video, I have more than enough to cope with at the moment I have a dying parent, a family getting together who don't get on. I'm not sleeping especially well, I've got a UTI probably because I'm stressed to the max. And now people turning up on my doorstep and threatening me...all for the sake of a princely sum under £150 and me legitimately terminating a contract that they broke.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 23/08/2021 09:53

Surely if wanted to wait till had a chat with them , then why pay back rhe extra when saw their car

Doesn’t make sense

Glad not only one confused @thesunwillout

MyOtherProfile · 23/08/2021 09:49

I think what OP is saying is she wanted to check the amount with the parents but most importantly actually have a conversation with them once they were back from holiday. However they turned up unannounced before she could do that. So her dh repaid the money without op explaining it first.

Reallybadidea · 23/08/2021 09:41

They sound like absolute arses but I think making sure that no other local childminder will touch them was unnecessarily vindictive.

thesunwillout · 23/08/2021 09:16

Bit snippy op.

Lot's of people on your side, I've read the thread and the latest update confused me too.

They were certainly wrong in the late payment, but did they come round because you'd ended the contract with them thinking they had paid the correct amounts.

Hence the visit?

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/08/2021 09:15

I get that.

But why didn’t you return the extra money she paid when you got it. Then cancelled contract as they hadn’t paid in full

Just seems weird you kept the extra , till Dh saw their car. Then returned it

Why didn’t you return the extra as wasnt planning to look after their children anymore

Or were you waiting for the extra payment to cover and carry on looking after their kids

Original poster
UnpaidCare · 23/08/2021 09:14

@DominicRaabsTravelAgent

He sounds like an utter tool. He’s a bad parent for leaving children that were so unhappy with you then isn’t he?!

Exactly this.

Why would you leave your children to be looked after by someone who made them so unhappy?

Well, quite. Still, he now has the opportunity to find much better care than me. They were due to go back to work today and neither parent has family nearby, one set of Grandparents live in France so they're unlikely to be able to pop over to do a few days babysitting.
OP posts:
Original poster
UnpaidCare · 23/08/2021 09:11

Our friendly local PCSO is popping round for a cup of tea later glitterelf, we have a whole village WhatsApp so that we can report in and she answers - how good is that?

At this time of year it's usually the occasional crop circle, thieving of farm equipment and the very occasional homeless person found living on land. This will be some excitement to break up her week Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
UnpaidCare · 23/08/2021 09:05

Ok Blondeshavemorefun I mean this as kindly as possible. Get some sleep, read through my responses again and hopefully it should all make more sense.

They were:
Very late paying.
Incurred late payment charges, due to late payment.
Paid an odd amount - more than the time they had plus late payment, but not enough to cover another week, with or without the late payment, let alone the rest of the month.
Were abroad when they did pay, so I didn't feel I could call them to discuss.
The amount I paid back was only calculated by me and DH, truthfully, I would have liked to call them on Saturday as I knew they were getting back from their holiday on Friday and I was giving them time to have a sleep and etc. before calling them.
Would have liked a conversation, but knowing the time they were coming back DH knew as soon as he saw their car what would happen & didn't want to give them further grounds for complaint, hence making the payment quickly.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 23/08/2021 07:29

Sorry I’m confused. Work nights - brain dead

So they came round yesterday starting shouting at you etx

But you hadn’t paid back their money till dh saw their car pull up

DominicRaabsTravelAgent · 23/08/2021 06:56

He sounds like an utter tool. He’s a bad parent for leaving children that were so unhappy with you then isn’t he?!

Exactly this.

Why would you leave your children to be looked after by someone who made them so unhappy?

glitterelf · 23/08/2021 06:06

That's always the comeback from disgruntled parents unfortunately. I urge you to document everything and pop it into your complaints file just incase he calls Ofsted then you have your evidence ready.

Ofsted don't actually deal with contractual and money issues I've had parents in the past who've then lied to Ofsted resulting in them coming out and being shocked when provided with the evidence and a police incident number.

ButtonMoonLoon · 22/08/2021 22:56

Goodness me what shocking behaviour.
What has happened about the equipment that they have at your house?

Handsoffstrikesagain · 22/08/2021 22:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
UnpaidCare · 22/08/2021 22:18

Although his sentences were coherent MyOtherProfile his arguments weren't. He didn't give me a chance to get a word in, he was shouting we didn't pay you late. Followed by you have libelled us libel is written, slander is spoken, right? Followed by our children were never happy at your house our cameras have captured the children waving at me like crazy and so on.

I forgot to mention June and Clive in the village post office/newsagents/stock range equal to Amazon and customer loyalty that an Apple exec can only dream of. I might have mentioned the situation to them, which means that the whole valley will know about it by now.

OP posts:
Handsoffstrikesagain · 22/08/2021 22:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Sssloou · 22/08/2021 21:35

OMG how gross. What a THUG.

He was verbally and physically intimidating you. I wonder how far he would have gone if your DH hadn’t intervened?

How dignified and powerful was your DH considered approach.

Well done for rinsing these vile people from your life.

You have so much life changing and challenging stuff going on right now that you really don’t need people like this.

You have a great reputation because you work so hard and thoroughly - the reward for that is a waiting list which gives you the opportunity to select decent families to work with - who are mutually respectful. Anyone deserves that.

RandomMess · 22/08/2021 21:24

😂😂😂🤣🤣

SofaSpuds · 22/08/2021 21:22

Wow, what an update! Glad you have all that security, he sounds like the kind of dickhead that is full on until he's challenged.

MyOtherProfile · 22/08/2021 20:59

Wow! Well handled. So what was he trying to argue? That he has paid and you have let him down?