I did try to post this in childcare first
What would you do in my situation? Long one sorry!
We have 7mth twins and managed to find a Mother’s Helper when they were 4 months. We live in a small place and we had been looking since they were born.
For background; She is very loving with the babies and is certainly more focused on them than any other tasks which perhaps is a source of irritation for me. I’m hoping this isn’t clouding my judgment.
She came with a spectacular reference from another twin parent and she works 40hrs per week with us. She claimed to be a non-smoker in her application.
When she first started she used the bathroom an unusual amount and I had no idea why until my husband said after a few weeks she is probably using a vape in there! I felt uncomfortable that we hadn’t been given an opportunity to discuss boundaries and rules about it but I still didn’t actually know if she was vaping.
Fast forward a month and she left her vape out in the bathroom. I used the opportunity to say that she must never handle it and then the children without washing her hands and that she must never use it anywhere but that room...
A few weeks later she was napping one of the babies in a sling in the kitchen when the baby I was napping woke ten mins early. I went to the kitchen door to signal to her that she should end the nap.
She was watching something on her phone with one hand and with the other, holding her vape pen around neck height, poised in the position that you would use it in and it was lit up (which I assume they only do when in use). When she saw me she absolutely crapped her pants and quickly tried to hide it behind her back in a panicked fashion.
When she came into the lounge I said firmly that she had been told clearly never to use it near the children. She lied to me and said she had just been holding it out of the way while she got her chapstick out of her pocket. She repeatedly denied it and told me that she would never ever do such a thing.
Basically I know she was doing it and lied about it but I felt a bit stuck in the situation and she half convinced me I was wrong so I just hoped she would never do it again.
This morning the same sort of scenario caused me to come to the door early and she quickly slid something off the table and behind herself. I didn’t see what it was but her behaviour makes it seem fairly obvious 🤦♀️
What on earth do I do? Do I have to actually catch her again to talk about it or act or what? Now I’m left feeling like I should end a nap early just to see it with my own eyes.
I don’t actually want to lose her but I absolutely cannot accept someone vaping around my babies. She has caused me enough reason to suspect that now I feel I have to do something for my babies sake.