Nanny looking for a new job without informing us

I’d start looking for her replacement. We had three nannies. They kept having babies of their own.

Are you sure it is her looking for a job and not someone else? Has someone confused you nanny with another person? Is it just malicious gossip?

The only thing is the ‘immediate start’ which implies that she would leave without giving notice (so not expecting a brilliant reference then?).

People can look and who ever tells their boss? Unless she was emigrating then she might give you the heads up, otherwise she is not obliged to tell you.

I’d have a chat with her - ask if she is happy or if there’s anything that she doesn’t like about the job that you could work on. Maybe mention that you know she’s looking - and start looking for yourself too.

Try not to take it personally.

I would like to reiterate that I don’t begrudge her looking for a new job. I understand she can’t tell us. It’s more the fact she has always seemed happy, never raised any issues etc.

Maybe there's something about the job she dislikes but you can't change - the age gap of the DC or her commute, etc.

Maybe two under two has turned out to be harder work than she thought. She might be looking for a job with older children

It might just be that she wants to move area, or live out rather than in or vice versa, or she’s seen a job that pays more or has her preferred age child. There could be any number of reasons that are not your fault or that you can do anything about.

I wouldn’t tell my manager I was looking for a new job until I had an offer, being a nanny is no different at all.

Have you had any conversations with her since she started about how she feels it’s going, given her the opportunity to raise any concerns or queries? It would be normal in most new jobs to have that kind of chat with your employer after a couple of months settling in, could you do that if you haven’t already?

[quote Autumnsun1985]@Postapocalypticcowgirl
I think you have misunderstood. I meant why wouldn’t I mention I know she’s been looking?
Not her - of course I get that![/quote]
Because this immediately causes the potential for an awkward situation and you are much less likely to resolve any issues there may be.

"Put upon" means where you think you are leaving her to it but where she feels that you are taking no interest or responsibility for your children at all and leaving everything to her. Normally the parents are still involved in their children's day and activities to some extent even with a nanny.

She might feel uncomfortable raising that as an issue (if it is the issue) so it would be quite understandable as to why she hasn't said anything but is looking to leave instead.

How is it clear she doesn't do any of those things? As a nanny these things can be the straw that breaks the camels back..

There's no way I would tell an employer I was job hunting! It could take her months to find something, or she may change her mind and decide to stay where she is.

Telling her gives you a big advantage - you could decide to look for a replacement and get rid of her sooner than she wanted to go, leaving her with nothing.

Also, how do you know she is looking?

Ok so ignore @ssd you clearly don't do any of these things 😂

I would do what was suggested above and say we have seen you are looking elsewhere and what the reason is? It could be something you can't actually do anything about eg location or she wants part time or she wants more hours or something like that nothing to do with you as a family. I would remind her that she is not available straight away as she has a 4 week notice period with you so she needs to amend that in her job posting

Why is it that nannies seem to be treated differently from any other employee? She has a right to look for another job without informing you, just like anyone else would. As for being available straight away, you need to deal with her breaking the terms of her contract, if and when that happens.

You say she has not long worked for you. Have you asked for a meeting to review how she is settling into the job? Have you a plan in place for regular appraisal? Have you considered how you would feel starting a new role, and just being left to it?

Oh my goodness,why would you expect her to tell you she is looking for another job??? No one tell their employer this! She should work her 4 weeks notice but the reality is that most notice periods are difficult to fully enforce. I would get a plan B in place

Do you ask her to do little extras, that weren't discussed at interview,?
Do you get home around the time stated or let her know if you'll be late?
Do you pay her extra for babysitting that wasn't previously agreed?
Do you expect her to tidy up your mess when she's only there for the kids?
Do you question why she doesn't cook from scratch when you give the kids chicken nuggets at weekends?
Do you respect the hard job she does, or think her career choice is beneath you?

Why don't you approach her and ask her why she is not happy? It would be easier to solve the problem (does she want more money, less responsibilities) than to have to find a replacement, especially if your children already like her.