So the new ap arrived last night .....

If you are in Germany, I know an AP who is looking for a new family.

Great thread. I'm trying again to find an au pair and I devour these au pair threads for tips! Good luck to all those also trying to find an au pair.

Whoops..sorry

talking about food my ap just can't get a grip on quantity! I left her potatoes, sausages etc to cook for dinner..she made 10 jacket potates for 2 kids and her!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry to hear that agency is being a pain in the a**s cloud,...I thought they were meant to be good...just goes to show! Try mine if you have no luck agency woman lives rurally so at least has a clue what we're talking about.

talking about food my ap just can't get a grip on quantity! I left her potatoes, sausages etc to cook for dinner..she made 10 jacket potates for 2 kids and her!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry to hear that agency is being a pain in the a**s cloud,...I thought they were meant to be good...just goes to show! Try mine if you have no luck agency woman lives rurally so at least has a clue what we're talking about.

1dilemma My mother's help is Mexican. She is very diligent and hard working. Luckily for us she just happens to live round the corner (pure chance) so she works a split shift, She does 8-11 am and then 2.15-4pm. She wold be happy to do more but I can't afford it ,sadly. I'd have her here all day

LOL at hiding the good biscuits, but food can be a big issue.

I wasn't prepared for the low-carber who refuses pasta, potatoes, rice. Pushed food bills through the roof.

And week 3, I realised why we were getting through 2 dozen eggs a week: the yolks were going straight into the bin. Free Range. Organic. Egg yolks. (Now the get cheap ones from the butcher, but if Atkins wasn't dead already, I'd be putting a contract out on him.)

Hiring an anorexic next time. JOKE!

On the visa front, you can also hire americans through the BUNAC scheme (Blue Card). They can't call themselves an 'au pair' but there are many willing to do it on au pair terms.

Thanks

night

It depends on the AP whether they are capable of doing sole charge. Officially, they are not allowed to of course. What you describe is more an AP type job (4 hours per day), but you could get a mothers help, pay more and get her to do some cleaning as well.
There is a limited list of countries where APs can come from, and some of them need visas (Commonwealth countries, iirc). you can find it by googling.
am off to bed now, good night!

Hi can I but in with a few qs please? Mrs S pls can I ask the nationality of your mothers help and what hrs she works? Happy if you want to skirt around the question a bit but I'm wondering whether it is possible to get someone from eg 430-730 ie to cover school pick up supper etc, also can they pick up dcs from school and bring them home? (I know aupairs aren't supposed to do sole charge baby).
Also how do you get people a visa? Ithought they had to be from eg EU etc to be allowed to work here?
Thanks

oh cloudberry, it sounds like a nightmare.

I hate agencies in general, they really are just too keen to get the fee and blow the quality of service that they provide.

I always use au pair world, and I unashamedly look for someone from a poor country, or from a poor background. I just can't be doing with a spoilt rich kid who thinks people are there to make her life easier.
Our last AP was from Kenya, she was sending her salary home and the job really meant something to her. She was a near-perfect AP, sadly her visa is now run out!
I now have a European girl coming, and she has already started messing me around.
Having promised to turn up on a certain date, she emailed me yesterday that she wanted to come 4 days later, a delay which would cost me around 400 euros for various reasons. Her reason? "my mother will be a bit upset when I tell her I am leaving, and I want to stay with her a bit longer"
FFS! We talked all this through on teh phone.

If you have got a temp AP for 3 months, I would look on APWorld and get a visa for someone, that way, hopefully they would stay for a year.

I buy two types of biscuits for our house - cheap ones for DS1 & DH, who have 'milk and biscuits' together each night (they get through a packet every other day between them!), and v.expensive ones for me (I eat about 1 a day and store in an air-tight tub). Might have to point out the biscuit tin where DH's are stored, and hide mine

We only have quite basic cereals - Weetabix, Rice crispies (treat for DS1 if he's still hungry after 2 weetabix!), porridge or branflakes. I can't imagine anyone eating shedloads of any of those! Maybe I'll be eating my words (when there's no weetabix left!) next week!

Will you name and shame the agency? Or is it best to wait until you've had your refund?

I think a refund's in order - especially with comments like that.

Mine now buys her own biscuits, as I will only buy 1 packet a week for the whole house! I do bake as well, but never had such an empty treat tin!

Also mine is too dim to wrap the cheese before putting in fridge, so lots of wasted chees.

Loads of cereal too, my last (and lovely) AP got through packets of the stuff.

Current AP shrunk my best jumper last week as handwash only, so miffed about that. She is now on folding dry stuff only, not loading washer or dryer.

I think I need somebody actually living with us, as opposed to a mothers help, because having the split shift approach will be very helpful. I can't see anyone wanting to do 9-11 and 4.30-7.30 5 days a week for £6 per hour.

1. I don't think I'll put our au-pair on the car insurance. We don't have a spare car at the moment (although we will from April - may have to hide it!), and the bus service to the city centre is fine.

1. Won't ask her to iron anything other than cotton shirts for DH. What else do they break?!?

1. My ap has already said one of her bad traits is that she's 'greedy'! Wonder what that will mean in terms of food consumption?

1. Can cope with an extra present, and her ferry home is only £35 single, so I wouldn't even mind footing the bill for a £70 return if she's good and wants to come back after Christmas.

Squiffy, I've had a good number of delicates, particularly jumpers shrunk to within an inch of their lives by enthusiastic helpers chucking them in the tumble drier. My rule now is none of my clothes go the drier!!!

You don't have to pay for courses and I wouldn't count in things like hotel rooms because you can always leave them at home when you go away (it just becomes a factor when working out the holiday cost and the bring them/leave them decision). You can get skype or an internet phone for calls. Additional meals when out are minimal as you are either somewhere childrfriendly (and therefore cheap) or she will be babysitting at home. And remember that some of these costs apply to nannies too.

Marginal cost of the things you mention are really low, but the biggies are:

1. Adding onto the Car insurance
2. Repairing things that get broken (but probably a good preparation for parenting teenagers). Special sub-clause for silk blouses ironed with the iron on a cotton setting.
3. Food. Never underestimate the appetite of an au-pair. the ratio of calorie-consumption-to-energy-expended will have you green with envy.
4. Xmas presents and flight home for a holiday (which they always manage to wrangle out of you).

Despite all of this though I still firmly believe that they are cheap as chips especially when you factor in the unsocial hours they do sometimes.

I'm trying to decide between AP2 and a live-out mother's help.

Totting up the additional costs of having another adult in the house for almost all their meals, additional meals when out, hotel rooms if away, additional electricity, water, phone, contribution to visa, courses, etc, I reckon the hourly cost must be approaching £6. Does that seem about right?

Actually there was a thread a few months ago on this. Will try to dig out.

I suspect, though, that the financial case is pretty weak for APs, it's down to the convenience of having someone live in and working around your schedule.

you're right MrdsRecycle re smiling and photos etc
Our first found it very difficult also to smile. it was interesting that i only realised that her details had been sent a second time to me several weeks later and had out her on no pile first as thought she looked too miserable... and my gut instinct was right.
I hate the idea of judging books by covers...but????
I was beginning to think that it was us, but most other people smile when we're about!!

mrs S sounds like the way forward- look out for my advert coming soon!!!

good not goo

I got my live-out AP (I guess you would say mothers help as I was always there) from gumtree and she was wonderful - so good she is now a Nanny for a fellow mumsnetter (introduced via this board!). I used to pay £6 per hour for 10 hours a week.

The problem is I need someone to cover when dds are ill. I actually don't mind them living in. Friendly - my 1st sacked AP never smiled (in fact cried!) so I learnt from that mistake - never hire someone from a photo where they don't smile.

friendly... I put an ad in. It was good to be able to do that because I could alter the ad when the replies I got weren't quite what I wanted, you know I realised I hadn't stipulated this and that. The other great thing is that it's free and you can keep 'bumping' your ad as often as you want.

I pay my mother's help £7.00 an hour. She is great. very good with the children and fantastic with the housework.
I've got a gem, sadly she'll only be here until may at the latest. I could kidnap her I suppose!!!
The good thing about Gumtree and sifting through emails from people is that you get a feel for what might be suitable.

I've generally found the responses to be goo though.

Laura, that's mental!!!