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Original poster

AU Pair, coming home drunk 10 am, and late night etiquette

37 replies

ScaryScaryNight · 28/10/2007 19:33

What is your experience opinion about the above?

I know she is a grown up at 20, but she also lives within another family unit (through choice).

I dont find it acceptable to come in drunk after partying at 10 am, leave the key in the outside of the door, and stagger to bed while my kids are watching and querying what is happening.

I dont find it acceptable to just leave the house at half past midnight, just saying, I need some air, and not be back until 4 am, as she is going to a club suddenly.

I think it decent to say "I am going out to meet a friend, I will be late". Or send a text if not coming home at all.

We live in London. The area is not so safe at night. One woman was robbed at gunpoint half a kilometer away, another was killed infront of her toddler a few years ago. Ok, it is rare, but it happens, and she is walking drunk out till early hours.

It is actually adding to my worries, as I dont want to be concerned with her on top of everything, she is here as a "stressbusting measure", not to add to it. Am I irresonable?

Opinions?

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colditz · 28/10/2007 21:49

You tell them she was drunk?

MotherFunk · 28/10/2007 21:49

Message withdrawn

sKerryMum · 28/10/2007 21:49

This reply has been deleted

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colditz · 28/10/2007 21:48

If it is affecting the care of your children or the security of your home, youhave a right to tell her off. But just because you don't approve of her behavior, - no, sorry, as long as she is not drunk or hungover while having the care of your children (and them merely being in the house with you too is not her having care) you don't have the right to complain about her going clubbing.

Original poster
ScaryScaryNight · 28/10/2007 21:45

MotherFunk, I have never had this sort of issue in my house before. I am posting to get feedback and thoughts on how to handle it, and I thank you for your contribution. Suggesting NOT having live in help is not very helpful, as sadly I am in a position where I need it. But how do I explain a raving drunk to my kids?

Last year we had 8 break-ins in the neighbourhood between October and January, leaving the key on the outside because you are too drunk to realize is a safety issue.

OP posts:
MotherFunk · 28/10/2007 21:41

Message withdrawn

Original poster
ScaryScaryNight · 28/10/2007 21:35

She is the first non-polish girl I have had. Never had problems with clubbing and drinking before....

OP posts:
bossybritches · 28/10/2007 21:31

YANBU AT ALL!!!!

Get rid-there are plenty more needing jobs out there-get a nice Polish girl!

sKerryMum · 28/10/2007 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ScaryScaryNight · 28/10/2007 20:35

Thanks, I just wanted to know I was not a prudish old so and so for not finding this reasonable.

I shall have a talk with her.

I told my husband, he went livid (he is abroad at the moment)

Think I might look for a child minder, or a part time nanny instead.

OP posts:
ProfessorGrammaticus · 28/10/2007 19:49

Out of order. And it would make me question her judgement generally, tbh

NAB3 · 28/10/2007 19:44

Talk to her. Completely out of order.

I used to be an au pair and this would not have been tolerated. This woman is meant to be helping with your children. Tell her it must not happen again or she is out.