Childcare for a 2 month old - WFH or Nursery / Childminder

With one of my babies I could have worked for 2 x 2.5 he periods a day, quite happily and quite predictably at 2 months post partum.

With one of my babies, at the same stage pp, I couldn’t stand up straight without pain, she barely slept at night or napped during the day, and needed feeding every 2 hours (boob or bottle). I was. Total wreck, who could barely remember my own name. Don’t underestimate how long it takes to feed an 8 week old baby by any method!! And that you might be doing it 10 times a day.

With my first child at 8 weeks I was sobbing in a corner covered in sick while baby slept no more than 20 mins at a time, ever.
In your situation, if you must return to work, I'd get a nanny.

I WFH FT with no help when the baby was about 9 months. I think I survived 4 + 6 weeks that way and then hot a nanny/babysitter for 12-15 hrs per week.

He's 15 months now and how's to nursery 5 hours. It's very manageable now ;)

Meant to say that I could not have concentrated working from home trying to look after my baby and would have chosen childcare.

Just wanted to give you my positive experience of returning to work earlier than a year. I went back to work when my babies were 5 months, 7 months and 3.5 months working 3 days a week, my partner also works part time so we didn't use childcare. Actually returning to work once I had recovered from the births (including one c section) was fine and I have an underlying chronic illness. I had normal stamina and brain power, and was able to do my job as well as ever. I did think that I would have lost confidence and had to relearn things if it had been off longer. I breastfed all 3 babies when I was at home and expressed milk at work. My DC had bottles of formula or expressed milk when they were with my partner. I co-slept with my babies and didn't find the nights too bad, although you would have to share nights fairly with your partner to make it work otherwise you will end up sleep deprived. Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy.

I also wanted to say that in my experience it’s not possible to wfh effectively with a baby. At all. And my baby was “easy”!

Just sharing my experience: I went back to work at 2 months full time. Everyone says I was nuts but it worked for us. We were initially going to get a nanny just until she was 6 months, but we loved having a nanny so much that we swallowed the extra expense and she never did go to nursery. Good luck! You can do this! Lots of people said to me “get the best childcare you can afford” and they are right.

What about KIT (keeping in touch days) you can use up to 10 to work without ending your mat leave
Be sure there is agreement to pay you for them!

I took 9 months off with DD, but like you worked for a small company and wanted to keep in touch.

I did a little WFH, caught up with some stuff on the laptop with DD in a sling. She’s a contact napper so I could have easily dealt with emails on my phone one-handed whilst she slept. If you’re sitting on the sofa recovering it’s no great effort to do that (even sleep deprived), and you’re not missing out on time with baby. Kept my mind active too.

What I wouldn’t have been able to manage was getting up and out of bed, getting dressed, getting DD dressed and out of the door, driving to work and sitting in an office for 9 hours. I would have really struggled before 4/5 months.

But you could definitely keep in touch from home, respond to emails etc for an hour or two a day without sacrificing time with your baby. If DH can take baby for 1/2 day at the weekend and you can get family help throughout the week I think WFH flexibly on reduced hours could work well.

You remind me of myself at one stage in my life, OP. Work was everything and I couldn't imagine changing my life so that it wasn't. When I became a mum that changed. I still work hard but have a different perspective and I care much less about being the one to get things done. Having children can massively impact on your career so in some ways you are right to make sure you minimise the impact but I can't help feeling that if you don't change your mind once the baby arrives you will look back with regret. Chances are that you won't see a tangible reward from work for your commitment.

Ugh why don’t my quotes work! That was in response to Clymene.

Yes, it’s different, but given a context in the U.K. where most mums take much more maternity leave I thought the OP might appreciate a conversation about the idea that doesn’t assume anyone taking a short maternity leave is naive/heartless.

What about a part-time nanny?

When I had my first it was normal for everyone to go back between 6 and 12 weeks full time as you couldn't get flexible or part time. It is do able

If you have to, I'd say it's doable to wfh with a newborn/very young baby, but only into they get to about a year and to bear in mind that most of your work week be during naps after the first few months and they reduce over time. It's not really doable after a year. But the first few months, sure.

And yes you'll be knackered but most babies don't sleep by the time their parents go back to work anyway, and some sleep as badly or worse than when tiny, so I don't think tiredness is a specific issue any more than any other time.

You may find though that you just don't care about work and find motivation very hard, especially if other parent friends around you are having fun with their babies and you are stuck at home juggling work.

You're either going to have to try and manage or get a nanny - most nurseries won't take babies under 6 months.

That's not true. Lots take them from around 6 weeks plus

I did work from home with DD here 1 day a week out of 5 but stopped when she was 6 months and started crawling - it wasn't safe for her or fair that she didn't have my attention and felt bad that I couldn't giver her the attention she deserved

Join a due date Facebook group. It will be full of American mums some of whom will plan to go back to work even sooner than you, some will have done it with their older children. It’s so unusual in the UK we tend to see it as impossible to cope with but it’s the only choice for a lot of mums elsewhere in the world and they make it work somehow.

I do agree with other posters that there are huge downsides to pushing yourself to go back so early but if it’s what you are going to do you’d be better off asking mothers who are used to the idea of a quick return to work.

I almost couldn’t be bothered to respond. I’m all for working mothers, I have two children and a reasonably busy, mid-senior role. I enjoy my career. But I took 9-12 months off with each child.

With DC1 I was utterly physically and mentally broken by his arrival. No amount of careful consideration could have prepared me for how I would be after. I couldn’t sit down for 6 months, and DS was the crankiest baby. Going back to work, when he was 11 months old was definitely a positive step for me, but under 6 months would have been impossible.

DC2 gave me a much easier time, but still that time at home with him was so precious. It’s irreplaceable.

The main thing is, though, that childcare is really expensive, so you might find it doesn’t matter so much financially. When I went back after DC1, more than 50% of my take home pay was going on childcare; after DC2, with two in nursery, my whole pay packet was wiped out for a while.

So maybe think carefully about whether going back to work so soon really is the best thing for you both. Having a child is a big deal, even if you want the high flying career. And it’s totally ok to take some time off to get used to the changes in your life.

Plenty of people are only entitled to SMP but plan for their mat leave so they can actually have time off with their baby. I run my own business and planned a year off with my first. Unexpectedly had to return after 4 months instead and it was excruciating - I just wanted to be with my tiny baby. They're only that tiny and small for so long, and they need their parents not a nanny. 8 weeks in is still 'fourth trimester' territory and frankly it isn't in the baby's interests to be away from you for so long.

I would seriously reconsider your plans. At 4 months I cried most of the day every day leaving my baby, and I had the privilege of her being with her grandma whilst I worked instead of formal childcare, for only 6 hours per day. It was the hardest thing and not in mine or my baby's best interests.

Youre having a baby. You need to put the baby first before work or anything else.

I went back to work at 10 weeks, nursery couldn't take baby until 12 weeks so juggled two weeks between WFH and family help. Husband was deployed but all was fine. Just got ourselves in a routine, batch cooked on weekends, outsourced the ironing and had an occasional cleaner. You do what's right for you
(oh and that was with a non sleeper too)

Tbh, I don't think that you're being realistic. Nor can I really understand why you'd be having a baby if you are prioritising a work campaign over being with your baby.

Given you get 90% of your salary for the first 6 weeks, surely with planning ahead now, saving, reducing outgoings etc, you could manage to take a few weeks on smp,then annual leave?

If you're both on low incomes you maybe eligible for benefits like universal credit etc.
Without being rude, what level of income are you in?

I am all in favour of supporting women and mothers to do what they want, and supporting working mothers etc, but I am struggling to get my head around going back to work at 8 weeks unless you absolutely LOVE your job and/or you're the prime minister or something. You need time to recover from the birth and adjust to life with a newborn, which is utterly exhausting.

You might feel that your job is crucial now but your priorities might change when baby arrives.

I also fail to understand why you can't afford to take more maternity leave, with a reduced income on just SMP, when your partner earns £70-80k/year! Do you share finances or split 50/50? Do you (as a couple or individually) have high outgoings and/or debts?