Nanny starting late, leaving early

Generally I would say family A is right. It's important to have some give and take in both sides in a nanny-employer relationship. But I would say it depends on why those hours were chosen in the first place and what the knock on effect of the change would be. For example, pre-COVID I would get off my train at 1815, and race home to do an quick handover before our nanny finished at 1830. If she had said she wanted to finish at 1820 to catch a bus, we couldn't have done it without leaving our own jobs 30 minutes earlier to get a train out of London, so we would have had to say no. But if there isn't a reason like that there is no need to be a dick over ten minutes a day.

What if both parents of family B miss a 9.10 train and arrive at their work later as a result? If that’s the case, unfortunately I think nanny has to suck it up. My employer won’t accept a daily 9.35 to accommodate childcare. That would need to be explained on hiring someone really - nanny employers are equally at the mercy of train timetables and employers, and the substantial reason the nanny has a job in the first place is to enable their employer to do theirs.
If it’s a point of principle however, family B need to get a bloody grip.

Ok I see your point about the emotional connection and not being like in an office.... But I still can't believe the nanny actually brought it up when it's only 20 minutes

Technically family b are right, however does 5 minutes (10 in total) make a massive difference? Do family b need to be out of the house before the nanny arrives late, if so what time do they return. If family b are in the house then they are not showing any compassion and no respect to the nanny. If they need to be somewhere for a certain time and return for a certain time then this can't be helped and the nanny would should accept this with upset.

I admire family a, what a lovely, considerate family, I would rather have a happy nanny looking after my children and would happily pay them the same for the sake of 10 minutes per day.

let her do it for 2 days per week but add the 20 mins to the start or finish on day 3.

Family A is right.

Quibbling over 5 minutes is seriously petty.

Is it 5 minutes though or would this become longer on multiple occasions? 10 minutes per day is a whole weeks free pay over the course of a year. Something to think about.

I would compromise and say leaving 5 minutes early is fine but I would personally like a prompt start. Getting the ultimate latest train possible to work enviably ends up making you later than anticipated on a fairly regular basis IME.

Being a nanny isn't like working in an office though.

It's a personal relationship, there's an emotional connection and it means working long hours without a break.

Family B are being petty for no reason, and if they're not careful they'll be looking for a new nanny.

I'd definitely adjust. I wouldn't even notice those 10 min. I would notice if she found another family closer to her home and left us.

Family B. But I think both families would be more than ok to ask her to stick to the contracted hours.
20 mins isn't a long time to wait for a train (at both ends of the day).

Family B are unreasonable unless for some reason it’s absolutely vital that the nanny is available in the first and last five minutes of the day.

If someone was looking after my children from 9-7 (almost), and they were doing a really good job with them, I would want to accommodate such a small change to help their community go easier. I’d accommodate their needs in the hope to keep the services of a good nanny and to respect the fact that after looking after my children all day that 5 mins early end let’s them get home 25+ minutes early for their own time.

Family A is treating the nanny with respect. Remember you are paying this person to take care of your children and threat them with the love and care you would expect, so therefore it is important to treat your many with similar respect.

Family B are being petty and will end up with a resentful nanny - I couldn’t leave my children with someone who resented me.

Family A need to seriously consider whether to continue to share with B, as they have fundamentally different attitudes on how to treat a nanny.

Note the only exception I think would be if family B actually needed the extra time in the evening - so if they had to run home from a train etc.

I also would assume that the employers asked for these hours to suit their commuting arrangements so it might well just shift the problem onto them which might explain family B's reaction.

I also would have expected the nanny to want some contingency time, realistically with train delays this is necessary and most people do this.

Could she stay an extra 20 mins one day a week and get the later train that day?

I can’t imagine in any other job trying to renegotiate your hours based on public transport. As a teacher in London I often waited for trains. Family A are being kind but I don’t think Family B are wrong.

Does family B need the 5 minutes? If they themselves need to take an earlier train as they otherwise can't be home by 6.55 then they have a point. If it's just the principle then no.

Assuming that neither family A or family B actually need her to be there until 7 on the dot - that neither of them has a commute that gets them there at 6.59pm (clearly the morning is fine because B have said it would be ok if she then worked later) I really can't imagine caring or see why you would.

If it was my nanny I would say that’s absolutely fine, but on occasion I may be little late finishing work and on those days I’d expect you to stay a bit late to cover and get the later train

Sounds fair to me. Give a little but ask for a bit of flexibility in return. But don't take advantage. Being late once a month - fine. Being late twice a week, very much not.

Family A will have a happier nanny that feels valued. Family B better hope they're never even a minute late getting home.

I’m a manager and I have a golden rule. Staff will enjoy working for you, work harder and stay in your employ longer if you show some caring and make their life easier.

Is it really that much of a problem? If it is, then I get it - ie of family b will be late to work as a consequence. But not for the sake of being pedantic. Be nice to her, reduce her “commute” by 40 minutes and she’ll enjoy working for you and stay longer.

Good staff are hard to find.

Who would have another human being stood alone in a train station for 20 minutes for the sake of letting them off with 10 mins?? Are people actually that tight and anal they would do this?

I agree with this.

Some people have no idea how to keep a good employee happy. 10 minutes a day, that's 2 hours per month ffs!