I’m scared of paedophiles having access to my child when in childcare

You are being OTT, whether you want to hear it or not. As for the nursery refusing to hire on grounds of gender, I can see the upcoming lawsuit now.

Practically, all you can do is minimise the risk as much as possible. All the checks etc are a good start.
Maybe a nursery setting where more adults are around would be better for your peace of mind?

DBS checks doesnt actually mean they arent it just means they havent been caught if they are. I only know this to well sadly and it's not from me being in that place.

However most peados are in the family home, or the family.

I didn't want to use a childminder for the same reason. I think a nursery (or a preschool if they are old enough), is better .

I think the question for the OP is whether there's other childcare available that she feels is equally good and doesn't come with this fear? If so then really just go with another childminder or a nursery or whatever you feel more comfortable with as there's no downside. If it means using childcare that you feel is less good in other ways, or if it means changing your whole life in a way that you don't want to do, then that means the anxiety is having a detrimental effect and that's the point where it isn't healthy.

if I felt you did not 100% trust me and everyone in my household I would not be offering you a childcare space as I do not need the constant worry in my life about what you are thinking, or feeling about my care. You are already going in with the thought your child is going to be abused so that is not a healthy relationship for anyone to have with you or your child and poltential mind field of False allegations to Ofsted, authorities etc.

Why should someone trust you or your husband? How do they know you are trustworthy?

Just because someone doesn’t automatically trust someone who is offering to care for their children doesn’t mean they are going to make false allegations.

I use a nursery rather than a childminder, that way individual staff are unlikely to be alone with little ones.

They told me off the record that they officially can not reject any future staff based on gender but in reality they would not be hiring any male staff

Disgraceful behaviour from this nursery.
This would be a reason NOT to give them any business.

I don't think op is being remotely irrational. The moment your child isn't in your care, the risk of them being abused increases. Including by members of your own household. Parents can't ever be too vigilant.

You don't want to hear it, but you're being totally irrational and OTT. PFB syndrome?
If you're so concerned use a nursery, there are many,many excellent ones, or a CM who's a single mum. You need to learn to get this in check or school will be a nightmare.

You have to make a risk-based decision - only you can make that decision. For us, the benefits of childcare mean that I'm happy to take the risk because the risk is, in my view, very very small. As PP said, the most likely source of abuse is a family member - as with so many crimes - and there's a danger of missing something close to home because you're so anxious about the very unlikely prospect of someone outside the family doing something. All you can do is to have an open relationship with your child and teach them the things that help to mitigate, like the correct words for penis/vagina/vulva etc.

FWIW, DS key worker at nursery is male and I have zero issues with it.

I don't think you are OTT .. I worry about this all the time. I would die without my kids and be broken if something happened to them.

Especially as DBS checks just mean they haven't been caught. It's better than nothing but always a worry. I would go for a nursery and I would go for a nursery with mainly woman workers. Still a chance but I would prefer there to be plenty of workers around to see things

Must have perfect ofsted report and plenty of staff with little staff turnover.

I really suggest you read the book mentioned up thread.
Do also listen to your Gut instinct about "individuals".
Be an involved parent, the one who turns up to events, offers extra help. Talk to any adults involved in care.
The most likely abuser of a child is a family member. As they get older people like sports coaches are also possibles - but showing that you are there, listen to your children and giving them strong boundaries (Pants or Swimsuit from a young age), and not being flattered into allowing "special coaching", and prioritising being a chaperone.

But read the book.

I understand. Go with your instinct.
Not childcare but music. Lessons here and I didn't got with my gut feeling.
He is now in prison.
No amount of checks can be 100%

I think your concern is a very real one op and you are not being ridiculous. Those saying are you not going to let your child have a male teacher at school etc, school is entirely different, the child has a voice by then and its not likely that a teacher at school will have one child alone at any time.
The person that said choose a female only childminder, good idea, but still you never know who's popping in during the day.
For my children I chose a nursery. There are no male staff at our nursery. It's a sad world we live in though that we view all men as predators!

They were women.

Honestly I am not one of these posters who always has to jump up and defend The Men, and I completely agree that the vast majority of paedophiles are men, but at the same time the vast majority of men are not paedophiles. I am really shocked that this setting was so brazen about their discrimination. I am also sad that perpetuating this nonsense means our children continue to grow up believing that caring is women’s work.

Sorry @OrangeSprout I didn't mean the flowers in a PA way! I meant it more in an "'I hope you find a solution that works for you'' way. You shouldn't have to lose your own job.

And if you mean socially, it’s well documented that children don’t actively gain anything positive from being with other children until they’re about 3.

This is not true.

I don't think it's a ridiculous fear. I think it's kind of natural but that you can make it less theoretical by going to see different nurseries and trusting your gut. As people say, a nursery full of laughing children staffed entirely by qualified women only is a good start.

for your anxiety

I don’t think you’re being crazy OP - this is one of many reasons I decided to be a SAHM. I didn’t send my elder daughter to nursery until she was completely toilet trained so no one had any reason to be near her pants 😂
But I was fortunate that it was an option for me financially to stay at home (although we do sacrifice a lot for that privilege).
What I do think is crazy is that you would think staying at home with your child would stifle their development?! You are going to be a far more focused teacher than any childcare setting. One to one care with the person who loves you most in the world is (whilst obviously not always an option) always going to be great developmentally. And if you mean socially, it’s well documented that children don’t actively gain anything positive from being with other children until they’re about 3.
I’m honestly not judging anyone who has to or chooses to go back to work when their baby is tiny but, you feel how you feel and you have to prioritise what’s most important to you, you only get one shot at it and it doesn’t last long!

I don't think you are being OTT but I would consider the types of settings you might feel more comfortable with. My DS goes to nursery with mixed female caregivers and although I didn't pick it for that reason I would feel more comfortable with that than the situation you describe. Non verbal child in a small home setting, I can see why it might make you feel uncomfortable.