I’m scared of paedophiles having access to my child when in childcare

@Myshinynewname
As an assessor I can tell you what they show a visitor is not necessarily the staffing of a room when the doors are closed. Itscommon practice to use the delay for staff to return to rooms. I've seen all sorts and becouse you dont build a relationship with staff you dont get a feel for them if you've spent time everyday talking face to face for 20 minutes you do get an idea of how caring someone really you also see them working everyday and how warm the relations are.

@jannier fair enough, but in my individual circumstances (after visiting nurseries and childminders and speaking to them about how they ran the day) I felt more reassured by the nursery setting where there were always multiple members of staff in the room together.
Also, how many children are in nursery vs how many are at a childminder?
Nowhere is risk free, but I was more comfortable with the risk in nursery.

@Myshinynewname
More abuse happens in nursery

OrangeSprout You are not wrong in wanting to protect your child. That's what a good parent does. I hope you can find the right solution for you and your family.

We chose a nursery for this reason. It doesn't eliminate the risk but dc at a nursery spend far less time one on one with an adult than they would at a childminder.

Sexual abuse in childcare is less of a worry than accidents and negligence....you need to get the risks in perspective.....all abuse is much more likely at home or with family and friends. Children are not safer in women only settings as in most cases with young children its the women facilitating the abuse and this does happen in nursery but more often than any in the child's own home. But its rarer than a child choking.

You have no right to see a DBS it is a confidential document Ofsted are the regulating body and they make sure all adults in a house are suitable in the same way a nursery manager would get a suitability letter from Ofsted regarding staffs DBS a childminder will have suitability letters. Ofsted also do identity checks insurance checks etc. So Ofsted registration is suitability just like with s nursery or a school.
The best ways to protect your child is to learn the indicators of abuse and watch the relationships between adults and children....very hard in s nursery with numerous staff including agency ones....and dont assume more people is more saftey thoese young 16 year old apprentices would not be confident to say to their boss what you did isnt right neither would many worried about their jobs which is why the guidence tries to bring in supervision to get around this but still it relies on you reporting your college and often your boss.

Use a nursery? More people around

I believe when a persons anxiety is so extreme that they are irrational, this does damage them their child.

As you have mentioned gender do remember that those who appear as female may not be of the female sex.

I don't think you are being irrational. I have the same fears but still sent my boy. He was very articulate at months and would say what happened and who changed him but still one can't rely on what they say because of the power of grooming. Even DBS checks didn't give me complete comfort. To me, a clean check could simply mean not caught yet. And then there was emotional abuse or bullying that I worried about and my partner very "don't confront" attitude which means he is dismissive of reports like "X hit me" (even reported by toddler more than once. Letter proved true). But then again, abuse and horrible things can happen at any stage in their lives. So I grit my teeth and send him (having done the checks). I equip him to confide in me, that I trust him. And I pray and hope he will be ok. I also take comfort in statistics. I will certainly look at the book suggested here because I believe that's all we can do. Equip ourselves and equip them and hope for the best

I don't think it's OTT to want to ensure you leave your child in as safe an environment as possible. Minimising any risks is fine.
It's not like OP is insisting that the child wear a body cam at all times, is it?

@oblomov20 what evidence do you have that the op has damaged her child?

Yes of course, that would be nonsense but that’s where you get to if you generalise rather than examine the specific risks.

The specific risk is that a male is 4 times as likely as a female to be a paedophile if the PP stats are correct.

As a parent it’s then up to you to decide whether you want to minimise that risk for your child. Perfectly valid arguments on either side of that decision IMO.

You need to see your GP re your anxiety. It makes me very angry when a mums anxiety is so bad it damages the child.

So, 1 in 5 reported pedophiles will be a woman and the other 4, men.
That’s the statistics:

“Studies by LFF confirmed that a “fair proportion” of child abusers are women. Donald Findlater, Director of Research, noted that up to 20% of 320,000 suspected UK pedophiles were women. He stressed, however, that these are only the cases that are reported.”
psychcentral.com/blog/psychoanalysis-now/2017/06/the-rise-of-female-child-molesters#1

I understand the feeling OP.

Without sounding harsh there are going to be many times when you can’t protect them and sometimes you just have to trust your instinct if you think something isn’t right.
It is very unusual for someone to attack straight away so you will usually have time to feel if anything is uneasy.

Obviously go with people who are DBS checked etc but remember that it is usually trusted family/friends who pose most risk as they are alone with them more. Whereas childminders and teachers etc usually have other people/children around so don’t have the ‘opportunity’.

The point is, these people have been checked, so you are as sure as you can be. It's very important that your child knows things like he can say no to any adult, and that he can tell you if he is uneasy about anything.

Okay OP, so you’d be ok with Rosemary West, Myra Hindley and Beverley Allit looking after your kid’s. Yes of course, that would be nonsense but that’s where you get to if you generalise rather than examine the specific risks.

I had this fear and therefore decided a nursery was a better environment. Not many people allowed in and out where as a child minder could have anyone in their house.

There are more safeguards in place in a nursery or school setting. If staff are one to one or toileting it is within the sight of other adults. It’s really not the same with a childminder who has unsupervised access to your child, with unknown potential visitors.

OP send your child to nursery.

My friends kids were physically abused by a child minder (female) and she had no idea until the police contacted her. Another parent had reported the childminder. So I would not be using gender as a reason to demonise people in the childcare industry

It is statistically overwhelming true that paedophiles tend to be male. This is just a fact.

It doesn’t mean no women abuse children or that all or most men do either.

I actively chose a childcare provider with mixed sex staff. I wanted my children to see that childcare is not just 'womens work' (ie horribly undervalued) and that men too can be responsible for children, learning, caring, gentle and loving. To be honest I think that's what we should be teaching our children, not the 'peados are everywhere' mantra.

It's normal for parents to worry about every little thing with their children - I have a bit of an obsession with road safety and worry that on a trip out with nursery something will happen with the traffic to cause them injury, but I don't let that stop them going to nursery and going on trips. I know that the risk is extremely small, that measures are in place to try to prevent accidents, and that the benefits of going outweigh the risks by a long way.