I’m scared of paedophiles having access to my child when in childcare

Everyone had their own level of comfort. I don't like men in my changing rooms. I don't like men looking after my non communicative child. Luckily it's easily avoided

Happier with male teachers as my child can communicate more at 4+ and also requires much less help in the toilet

@Marley20
But that's the point in your risk assessment the ones you trust are statistically more likely to be the abuser but everyone is okay with that which says its an irrational fear based on the same stereotypes as people saying women shouldn't be welders firemen etc....this numpty has 25 years working in supporting children going through or surviving this trauma and most have been trusted family members few less than a handful have been outside of family .....risk asses know your facts and indicators teach your children its okay to say no and not keep secrets but be realistic with eyes open....men make wonderful role models and carers women groom children dont rely on outdated prejudice to keep your child safe.

So what about at school? Those that won,t allow malke carers will you allow male teachers? At what age would you allow male teachers?
What about male doctors or male nurses?

Wow the sexism on this thread. I used childminders because I wanted a more homely environment. All had men in the house and the men over 18 all had to have DBS. I got a better relationship, children mix with a wider age range, older ones help look after younger ones. More able to ge out the house and use the local facilities/groups. More flexible for houers, Cheaper more able to pick ups and drop offs for groups.
I work in a nursery that uses Camaras. only once was I glad they were there. 9I was able to check on a child who had a fall and realised it wasn,t as bad as i had feared.) rEst of the time Staff don,t generally feal safer and I really don,t think children are as camaras are not in the bathrooms where sexual abuse is more liokely to happen. In fact sometimes it can cause more distrust between staff and manager. AS Camaras do not show the whole picture.

I'm sure the statistics will show that most peadophiles/child abusers are known to the family and could be the father, uncle, brother, grandfather so presume you will risk assess every male family member your child comes into contact with too? 🤔

I felt similar, but not paedophiles.
So we didn't use childcare, nurseries or pre schools.
Tightened our belts, lived frugally, it worked for us.

Not everybody is a paedophile but the ones that are would likely to be working with kids. You are right to feel like this.

@jannier

To the no men...mummies....
How did you trust your partner to ever have had children? Would you let grandparents care for them but only if granny does the nappies? If your son wants to be a child carer would you assume he's a peadophile? Would you watch your son with his child and warn his partner that he's enjoying being a dad too much?

Err, we're talking about assessing risk when deciding which type of childcare to use not trusted and loved family members you numpty.

@Marley20
Working with my local safegaurding board where all cases of abuse come in from all sources and are investigated

To the no men...mummies....
How did you trust your partner to ever have had children? Would you let grandparents care for them but only if granny does the nappies? If your son wants to be a child carer would you assume he's a peadophile? Would you watch your son with his child and warn his partner that he's enjoying being a dad too much?

I know how you feel OP, I felt like this with my first and was more experienced in care settings by the time I had my second. However I'm always on high alert stemming from childhood abuse and it took a lot of reassurance to place my son. Basically I had to train myself to calm down.

If you do all the necessary checks and research and keep an eye on behaviours etc then realistically that's all you can do.

I get it though, I really do

I will 100% get flamed for this but here we go... I obviously looked for well recommended / dbs check / registered etc etc. But I also avoided male childminders. For me that in itself presented a risk I wasn't happy taking. (Dons hard hat)

No amount of training and dbs checking could stop a determined peadophile. Trust me. Nursery is better as th are more people there. Your child would 99 Per cent be fine but I wouldn’t trust that kind of setting.

I’d go with a nursery @OrangeSprout

I'm genuinely amazed at how many perceive there to be less risk in a nursery than with a Cm (not questioning it just surprised). I'm a childminder and like every other childminder I know, I'm first and foremost a parent - we are already carers of our own child and surely far less likely to be abusers than nursery workers. My eldest went to a nursery and whilst I was very happy and trusted the staff, there was no way the same depth of relationship you have with a Cm so I never really felt I knew his keyworker (& without question there were times when they were alone - I'm fine with that as I trusted the staff but I do think it's naive to assume your child with always have two pairs of adult eyes on them).

I love and care for my charges like I would a niece or nephew and whilst yes I am alone with the children, the relationship I have with parents is such that there isn't even a question of mistrust. I can't imagine mentioning a sore bottom after a nappy change and worrying about potential allegations

All that said, I'm also staggered how many of you are so genuinely concerned about this issue - I vetted nurseries and staff in that I checked their Ofsted report and met the staff but otherwise didn't question their motives to be anything other than genuine. I think it's quite sad that there is almost as assumption of guilt if you work in childcare and you need to prove otherwise.

You know, my DD goes to a nursery where they employ one man. He's worked there for nearly 17 years.. One morning he was doing the intake as DDs room person wasn't in yet.. DD was scared of him but i gently coaxed her in and told her there was nothing to be scared of.. I made a point of getting to know him and for DD to see him because he works in the next year groups room above DD which she will progress into this year. I think go with your gut, but these people are qualified and rigorously checked. I think people in childcare are dbs checked regularly also. There's such a stigma associated with men in childcare. Some of the best nannies end up being men.

@jannier
most cases with young children its the women facilitating the abuse

This is simply not true, sources please.

@jannier

Ah ok, thanks!

I guess at the moment as we don’t go in we have to trust everything’s in order inside!

@OverTheRainbow88

When the bell goes staff are slow answering to allow time for others to return to rooms. They maybe elsewhere doing paperwork covering other areas etc

@jannier

scommon practice to use the delay for staff to return to rooms.

Sorry; what do you mean by this?

I'm not trying to answer for everyone else, just for myself as a mum who has had dc at their nursery for almost 9 years. The room is visible as you approach through huge windows running the length of the building, there is no hiding what the staff and children are doing. I've been a shift worker and dropped off and collected at odd times unannounced, it's always the same. Maybe I've been lucky or maybe it's because I took time to choose somewhere who understood the concerns of parents like me.