Having toddler at home to save childminder fees

You cannot work productively with young children at home. I can't see that employers would want a permanent arrangement of no childcare if you are working from home.

As much as saving money is tempting, your work will suffer and it's not fair on your DC

He doesn't seem to value your work op. You need to be able to concentrate on your job and it's not really fair on the toddler either. It would be a hard no from me, especially as it seems you can afford the childcare.

Do you really split things like childcare right down the middle? To me that’s what leads to feelings like “this benefits you not me so I don’t want to pay for it.” You are a family, your DH should be happy for you to get whatever convenience or ease you can. I’ve been with my DH over 25 years and I can’t imagine either of us begrudging the other one something like this.

I was teaching from home from March to June with a then 15-18 month old. Absolute carnage. At one point I am ashamed to say that she fell down the decking stairs because I was too busy on my iPad feeding back on photos of work.

I really don’t think it’s fair on toddlers to be ignored in this way. You can argue that ‘in the old days, mums had to leave them to it and get on with the housework’ but being physically occupied is very different to disappearing into your computer while you work from home.

Wfh and minding a toddler are not compatible in the long term. Most companies Pre Covid had strict guidelines around not doing childcare while wfh. During Covid most companies were a bit more understanding when there were little or no other childcare options available unless you were a key worker. There are now other options available so I can see employers insisting on not minding children while wfh. You could be putting your job at risk, if your DH is so keen to save the money why doesn’t he change his working pattern?

Prior to Covid most employers had a policy that you couldn't WFH and care for children at the same time because you can't do either of those things effectively while doing the other (unless you are actually a childminder, then it is just having an extra child). At lockdown people had no alternative so employers had to let them. Check your work policy, it might forbid you from having the child.
Id explain that you can't do both so if he doesn't want to pay the childminder, you will piss off to a cafe (assuming libraries are closed where you are) and HE can juggle. He literally wants you to do the childcare and the earning at the same time, I'd be taking the piss badly if he were mine!

I notice he isn't offering to do childcare while working? I'd hazard a guess that you took on more of this responsibility when you were both WFH?

He is completely unreasonable.

And if your work is impacted will your employer or colleagues object? Because they’d be entitled to. What was accepted during lockdown is not going to be accepted now.

No way. I can just about work with my 9 year olds around, a toddler no way!

I did one day of wfh, having meetings on Zoom, working on my laptop, with my toddler (21 months) yesterday. NO WAY would I do that regularly. If I were you, I would insist on your toddler being at the childminder so you can work, or DP can arrange with his work that he doesnt work that short day and he can stay at home and look after the kid while you work. You cant be expected to do both effectively.

It isn’t fair on a toddler to stay at home, whilst you work, when they could be playing with other children, interacting and having fun.

YANBU. Maybe say to husband he can look after toddler on your short day as you are working.

It is so hard to work from home with children around. I struggled massively before the summer holidays (TTO childcare). We all go back to normal next week and its going to be great.