Do you trust your childminder?????

Well said diplodocus Both my 7 month and 9 month old mindees have a huge smile when I open the door in the morning - it reassures me that I'm doing a good job and I'm pretty sure it makes mum feel a whole lot better. Obviously they've been with me for several months now so it won't happen over night but it will happen

Sheepgirl, I know where you're coming from. When I first went back to work I used the nursery at my workplace for my PFB soley so I could "check up" and ruled out childminding because it happened behing closed doors. However, what I didn't realise is you'll know from your child if things are OK. Circumstances have changes and DD (2) now goes to a lovely local childminder instead - the fact that she runs happily to the door yelling the CM's name and is often reluctant to come home tells me a lot more than spying could! Realise my DD is older, but you do really get the vibe of whether your child has been happy or not during the day from an early age.

NannyL - I see what you're saying but I don't actually think she chose the right word....I THINK she was trying to say she's anxious which is understandable. God, most parents at the school nursery my ds now attends have a quick peek as they pass the window to make sure their LO looks like they are happy.....I'm one of them. I don't quite call is spying, just checking in, i.e. ds sometimes cries when I leave but as I pass the window I see he's fine once I've gone. I now know that I can walk away with him crying for me and he'll be just fine.

I'm a CM and can completely understand how you feel. I had to go through the same when ds started pre-school a couple of mornings a week when he was nearly 3 and I was in a right state and he wasn't even a baby . All I can say is if she's a lovely CM like you say, she'll understand this and will try her best to reassure you. Let her know that you're anxious, not because of her, just because you're leaving your baby. She'll understand. I agree about not ringing every 10-15 mins as otherwise there will be no chance for baby to really settle BUT ask her if you can call if you feel upset and then she can reassure you. Maybe she could take pics of your LO enjoying themselves? I email pics to parents quite often so they know they're having fun I have one baby who started at 8 weeks old (now 7 months) and one that started at 7 weeks old and was 5 weeks prem (now 9 months). The tiny baby's mum was fine as 2nd child, the other one who started at 8 weeks was very nervous and needed a lot of reassuring. I used to email photo's and she loved it, made her feel so much better. I also write a diary for all my under 5's and it details everything from nappy changes/bottles etc to how the baby settled, moods, activities etc.

I don't think this is a TRUST issue tbh, I think this is 'I'm leaving my baby for the first time with someone I don't know that well' nerves - VERY NORMAL

Best of luck, sure all will be fine

I cant believe anyone would leave their child(ren) with someone who they dont trust 100%

i have been a cm for over 3 years now i used to work in a nurery for 11 years till it closed down thank god it did.their was never no staff,supervisers stayed in office all day drinking tea and eating biscuits when nursery nurses when on holidays they left trainees to look after the kids.i know not all nurseries are like this i would just like to say i am a good cm i give them all attention and make them feel like part of the family.parents can check up on me whenever they want.

o cool. good luck with it all.

It doesn't offend me - its perfectly natural, I'd be exactly the same if I were the parent. I had a young mum once leave her 7 mo with me, and I could tell she was nervous about it so I text her at moments throughout the day to let her know how he was doing. I do feel for the parents, espec of young babies as they are unable to tell parents how their day has been! Hopefully your cm feels like I do that it is a privilege to be trusted so implicity with the most important thing in someones life. Thats how I see it anyway.

For any childcare situation, you need to trust your care provider. This applies for nurseries, pre-schools, childminders, nannies, babysitters, etc. If you don't trust your childcare provider... it's time to change provider.

You can never be sure what is happening when you can't see. Thus trust is vital. Many providers have an 'open door' policy, whereby as a parent you can collect your child early, thus see how things are when you are not 'expected'. However, practicalities can get in the way, as childminders are not at home all the time - they take/collect children from school/pre-school, they go on outings. So if you do turn up unexpected, and CM is not at home, then don't be alarmed - the children may be having a great time at the park.

With babies - childcare providers do daily diarys that help you get a feel for how your baby has been that day.

Childcare providers know that first-timers are anxious about leaving their precious bundle of joy, so don't feel that you can't ask them things part-way through the day. However, try to avoid constantly worrying and calling up every 10-15 minutes, as then both you and your CM are on tender hooks all day.
If you find that you can't face being away from your baby for your working hours, then consider other work - as long term, you need to be happy and your baby needs to be happy.

hum, read the title and thought "well how could you leave your child with them if you don't", but was thinking more along the lines of "I have been using her for 4+ years, of course I trust her".
When ds1 started with her I didn't have the relationship built up to "trust" her, but I had checked references, spoken to other parents, visited a few times etc.
You don't actually know what goes on, and you wouldn't know what was going on it a nursery - its part of the letting go, and if you are going to go back to work you are going to have to accept it.

Most CMers operate an open door policy - you can urn up at any time to se what is happening

Does the cm have good references from previous parents ? Mine are happy to write glowing refs for me which do tend to reassure new parents. Also, main clue is your babies reaction to the place and the cm - if they seem happy/excited to be there, etc. If you are that worried about the issue of cm being unwatched so to speak, then why didn't you go with a nursery?