Urgent help needed - after suspecting something was up with my nanny for a while I have now discovered.....

How did the chat go, Lisa?

think there are two issues here tbh.

The first is whether she's doing the job she's being paid to do, and the second is the issue re internet usage/looking at other jobs.

With regard to whether she's doing the job you are paying her for, if she isn't, then you need to take her to task over this. If washing/tidying etc isn't being done then you need to discuss with her and work out a strategy for these things to be done.

Re her internet use, how many mn'ers log on to here frm work? - a lot. How many people surf the net from their offices - a lot. Ultimately what she is doing is what an awful lot of employees across the country do every day. If she's surfing constantly while she should be with children then I would definitely have words, but surfing while ds is napping is another thing imo, as she is also entitled to a break.

Also re jobs I think looking at jobs is never a bad thing. I could never have seen my life as staying in one job indefinitely - doesn't mean she's unhappy, but maybe something better suited to her might come along and it's as much her perogative to look for other work as it is yours to consider getting rid of her when your circumsstances change.

NannyL makes a fair point about the jobs. About a year ago DH canme to me and said Nanny is looking at jobs. I found these on the printer. However, the jobs were live out and I happened to know that one of her nanny friends was a live out nanny and not happy in her current job. So,I immediatelt thought that they were probably for friend. And they were. But, I could have easily jumped to conclusions.

Can i just add, as a nanny who has no intention of changing jobs for at least another 3 years, i look at the jobs on gumtree and on nanny job nearly every day!

Also when my just 2 year old is asleep i often go upstairs and play on the internet... in fact there is abutton with MY name on on the PC for me to use! If they checked the history they would see loads of me on nanny job and gumtree etc and looking for jobs!

BTW my bosses are absolutely fine with this, they know and they dont mind! I will also happily sit down and watch some Tv for an hour or so while he was asleep.

(However my jobs are always done and the chidrden eat a homecooked meal for dinner every night, and this comes first)

Ultimatly if you arnt happy with your nanny then maybe you need to get rid of her, but remember unless there is gross misconduct (which it doesnt seem that there is) then you will NOT legally be able to find another nanny to replace her.... (even if you change the hours / job a bit you still HAVE to offer her it first)... you therefore HAVE to follow discilplinary procedure of verbal warning / written warning/ dismissal!

Goos luck

lisalisa - doesn;t sound like a gard job at all - its one I would have loved as a nanny.

The hours are normal for a daily nanny as are the duties.

The thing is do you want to keep her on? If yes then try to get to the bottom of any problems, keep communicating with her, have one evening a month where you sit down and discuss things (or every other month if you feel that too much), if not, well then just get rid.

Hope you manage to work it out

Just caught up on this and was going to suggest password LOL

I feel bad now as during the day when the children are napping I'm always on the internet lol (although I am a childminder and have to get my jobs done before and after work lol)

Internet isn't really the problem here, is it though? If she is that uninterested in your other children and never does the washing etc. then it doesn't sound like the right line of work for this woman.

If Ds2 is attached to her he will benefit from still having her to visit or look after him occasionally but honestly, she is taking the piss, and he will be fine if she isn't aound all the time, presuming he is attached to you and DH as well.

Try not to worry about the next step, but you have to ditch her I think!

Oh no, Lisa! Could you offer her a four day a week job and put DS2 into a childminder on say Mondays. She could still come over and do whatever her morning routine is (get him dressed, fed, etc.) then she could have the whole day off and you or DH could pick him up from childminder in the evening. That would cut her hours down to basically four days, give her some time to do her own stuff. But, on the other four days she needs to really keep up with x, y, and z.

This of course assumes that there is one day where the other kids are in full time school.

As for laptop, take it with you in the morning. Just say you put some work on it last night and you need to take to work with you today.

Or... just be honest. "I know you've been looking at jobs on gumtree. If you are unhappy I'd rather you told me why and maybe we can work something out where you can be happy. DS is really attached to you and I don't want to lose you, but this laundry over here and those toys over there are the reason I wmploy a nanny so they do need to be done on a daily basis." Or something like that.

BTW, my nanny works 12+ hours every day. But, she is live in and doesn't have any kids. So I guess that makes it a bit easier.

8am-6.30pm I don't see as being overly long hours for a nanny. It's 10.5 a day. I do a 10 hour day, and I consider that short for a full time nanny position. I feel that 11 hours per day is more typical. Anyone agree?

Can you follow disciplinary procedure - such as for neglect of duties, internet access (if that is stated in contact as being restricted). Clamping down the the lack of doing the duties you expect to be done, I feel would be your first step - with the nanny. And securing your laptop is certainly worth doing, even if just to prevent your 2 year old from using it (without permission).

erm, its late, please take that the right way...
Good luck Lisalisa

you'll need to improve your typing first though

I would be really upset if I were in this situation- she's there to care for your children.
Though I am obviously addicted to being online....

start menu (bottom left corner)
control panel
user accounts
set it up from there.

how on earth does she manage to do those hours? what abut her own childcare? irrelevent i know, dont answer!

Um well, my first reaction was, put a password on the PC.

But then I remembered how our excellent nanny nearly quit after about 18 months basically cos she was bored out of her mind.
(we did give her a rise too, different situation to yours cos she really was good) but main thing was to talk it over, find some ways to make it more interesting for her (which actually meant she was doing an even better job with DD).

If your nanny and DS2 have good relationship, well it might be worth putting in a bit of effort to try to sort things out.

If you're in XP then control panel, 'user accounts'

BUT- if you do this, she will know you've rumbled her and it may force her hand IYSWIM

Go to Control Panel. Click on User Accounts. Where it says "Or select account to change", click on your account. There it gives you the option to create a password.

It's going to depend on what version of Windows lisalisa is running.
We have XP and have set up a master Administrator account with full permissions, plus personal accounts including one for dd which only allows In the Night Garden
Passwords needed for all these

We've got a new one with Windows Vista - in control panel there is a section called User Accounts and Family Safety. Passwords are set in there I think.

Ah - is it in settings? When you click programs in the bottom LH corner, settings is one of the options - maybe through control panel?

Um - pass! It'll be a Windows thing (I know it's possible but I have a man to do all that for me )