Help! Can someone tell me if other nannies do this??? Sorry its so long..

so you are telling me you would begrudge your nanny ONE shopping trip while on work time?

Yes, angipoo, if I employed a nanny I would. Because as a nanny I have NEVER taken my charges shopping for personal clothing. On the few unavoidable occasions that I have had to run errands in work hours then I have told my employer about it first. I have never done something and told my employer after because I take the view that there are very few things so important they have to be dealt with that same day.

I'm there to care for children, not to shop. I do that in my own free time - when I'm on holiday and at the weekend.

And yes taking my own child shopping would be acceptable although I don't do it because it would be no fun for either of us.
But if I was employed by someone to look after their child in a position of trust and responsibility then going shopping for myself and not checking that my employer and the mother of the child I am caring for is happy with it is not not not OK.

Gettting back to the OP and her daughter whose welfare she is ultimately concerned with it seems to me:

1. She is unhappy with the nanny going clothes shopping whilst caring for her daughter

2. She has no idea whether it is a one off or a regular occurence

3. The nanny has been less than honest in not mentioning it if she HAS been clothes shopping

4. All of the above would ring alarm bells and I would say sit her down and have it out in a calm and reasoned way.

so you are telling me you would begrudge your nanny ONE shopping trip while on work time? is that not slightly unfair?!!!! do you never take your own child clothes shopping? or is that classed as acceptable?

Oh and I certainly don't take DS with me to the beautician or clothes shopping. Oh that's right I have actually not done either of those things in 2 years...

I would have a HUGE problem with my nanny doing this and can't believe others wouldn't. Dragging a toddler around Debenhams while she is clothes shopping is not the same as going to the supermarket/ farmers market/ post office/ or even the petrol station. These are every day activities which are unavoidable and if you are clever can be made 'fun' and even have educational potential.

If my nanny HAS to go to an appointment/get a parking permit/take her car in to the garage or do some other tedious but unavoidable chore with my DS I would expect her to let me know in advance or if it was unexpected after the event ie that day.

I too work a long day/have no lunch hour/have even less time than the nanny does to myself at weekends (presumably she does not have kids Gidleigh?) yet do not see this as a reason to shop or have my legs waxed while I am supposed to be working!

I'd have no problem with my nannies doing this as long as it was infrequent and they told me about it - preferably before but if not then at the end of the day. They work a long day and I know that going into town at weekends can be ab absolute nightmare, most people get lunchtimes to do this sort of thing - nannies don't.

To me the issue is the potential deceit and the deliberate covering up of the fact. That's what I would ask her about - why didn't she tell you and why did she seem to try to conceal it? Depending on her answer you decide what to do about it.

people come on!!!!its a shopping trip!! its no big deal,as long as its not every day for hours on end,shopping trips can be made fun and educational.i know my employer would not mind as she believes the same as me,children need to experience different situations in order to develop.

I don't think she shopped on line because it wouldn't come in a shopping bag. However, I'm not convinced that finding the bag in a coat closet constitutes evidence of deceit. It could just be a bag. Maybe a small child was putting it over his head and she stuck it in the closet to get it away from the child. Perhaps another child put it in the closet. My 2 and 4 year old both love to steal the shopping bags and go and put stuff in them.

BUT, I think the bottom line here is that the OP does not want her doing the shopping whilst at work. And that is OP's perogative. So nanny needs to be told that that isn't to happen in future. Then, if it continues, it should be a disciplinary issue.

I think it is tricky and there is a difference of expectations here

personally I would not want my child to experience constant activities that focus on them and constant adult attention - I don't think it is necessary or desirable

however other people feel differently

I think in most jobs one could find time during the working day to carry out one's own personal tasks like phoning friends, popping into shop at lunchtime etc, paying a bill. A nanny doesn't usually have a lunch hour so may sometimes need to do these jobs while looking after the children. Personally I don't think its a problem as long as you feel the children are happy and well cared for generally and that they like your nanny. I think you are making a big deal over the diary - presumably she uses it to report things she has done specifically for the children - I would assume my employer would not be interested in details of a personal shopping trip I needed to make. But I think you need to speak to her and clarify what you do and don't want to happen.

you need to confirm what happened.

If she is taking your child shopping for herself then you need to tell her it is not allowed, she probably thinks it is OK.

tbh, I would be most upset at the deceit - what else happens that she does not tell you about?

Are you sure she didn't shop online?

My Morton Michel insurance covers children in my care regardless of whether they're home or not - otherwise we'd never get out the house and forget ever going to the park!

On a completely separate note I think it's dreadful your nanny wouldn't spend money on insurance!

Matnanplus - would the children be covered by the Micheal Morton nanny insurance though (which I bought for the nanny since she wouldn't spend money on it). Previous nanny took my children to her mum's, sat them on her sofa to watch cartoons whilst mum smoked in the same room! - not my nanny anymore (and I am dreading the day someone rings asking me for a reference for her).

Sorry for thread hijack Gidleigh

I would definitely have a word with her and ask her about the Debenhams carrier back and if she went shopping, why did she not tell you nor record it in her diary. It is always good to have a open relationship with people that work for you because you never know what they do behind you except if you use a camera to watch them all the time they are working for you.

If I had a nanny, I would not have a problem with her taking my children out shopping but I would be upset if she tries to hide it from me.

Gidleigh,

i would have a calm word with her re why she went and for how long.

Millarkie,

That is a worry as if your being paid to care for a child, that child isn't provided for under standard home insurance in case of an accident!!

No I wouldn't really worry about this. I don't actually want my child to have to be in a stimulating environment all day, iyswim. Does that sound odd? Probably. But it just sounds a bit pressured.

My nanny has done the odd bit of clothes shopping since she's been here - I know because she's shown me what she's bought.

I wouldn't want 8 hours a day of being dragged round the shops but an hour now and again is fine.

Do you have an underlying concern that your nanny does not really care for your children properly?

Nothing wrong with them taking them shopping per se, it's only wrong if you don't want her to. You must tell her. If you don't tell her you don't want to then you can't expect her to know. If you have told her and she's done it anyway then you should give a warning or at least ask for an explanation.

In one of my old jobs where i worked 3 days a week occasionaly my boss would ask me to do an extra day...

on such occasions my little charge has come with me to dental check ups, and even to one of my friends afternoon house parties!
Basically i already had my plans sorted, was happy for my charge to come along with me so i didnt have to change my plans and mb was happy with that too.

As a young nanny I used to take the kids shopping + hairdressers, doctors. My families never had a problem with it..but I was always upfront and honest about it and never took the mick. I used to work from 7am-7pm without any break so I always assumed I could have a small of time ocassionally to do something for me even thought I was working.
As I only nanny one day a week now I NEVER do things for me while Im working...as there are other times I can do those things.

However as a mum- when my ds was small and we had a nanny it used to make me seethe that I was paying my nanny to drag my kids round the shops..ohh it used to make me cross!!

So I can see both sides of the argument.

I would carefully explain to her that you expect her to do things that are for the children at all times and that she must do her things, like shopping in her own time.

Jen

I dont generally take the children shopping.

(would NEVER take them clothes shopping, i find it stressful enough by myself no way would i want to do it with a buggy and toddler in tow as well)

However i work in a small town, and my charges school is just round the corner from the main shops.

Its a smallish town with shops like Wilkinsons, waitrose, superdrug, boots, robert dyas, whsmith, argos etc.

If i just need to pick up something like milk etc for me i will often nip into town and do so, or a prescription from the chemist, a birthday card, hamster food etc.

Nothing too much, and not often, but its only a 5 min (max) detour on the walk home from school so i dont see the problem. My bosses know as i will get my milk out of their fridge or whatver as i leave!
More often than not i will be there running an errand / picking stuff up for them as well anyway!

It's really no big deal for your children to accompany your nanny on a shopping trip for clothes for her once in a while. If you don't want it to happen again, tell the nanny, but don't give her a hard time about it. It's really not a crime.

Personally I think it's good (better, in fact) for children not to have adults devoted exclusively to their needs all day, and anyway shopping for clothes is a normal part of life and it's good for children to experience that.

One of my friends once told me that her children's nanny used to take the children (two little boys) along to the beautician's when she went for a wax. My friend had no problem with that because she was a great nanny (I can vouch for that - I was on holiday this summer with those two little boys and they are great children and really well brought up).