Wedding, no grandparents to help

Or thinking about it (sorry if this was covered on your other thread) could your DH/DP not just stay at home to look after the children and you go alone?

Any contacts via your older child’s school?

Yes I think maybe if 1 year old will struggle look at one or both of you going for a shorter day, maybe just the ceremony or just the meal/speeches, I know it's a long way to go to not stay for the whole event but if its a very close friend I would. Is there any way e.g. that you and DH could travel up together, and then he leaves early (perhaps getting a train home?) to get back for the children and you then stay for the whole thing for your friend and come back late or the next day?

Also if you are worried about leaving the baby with a stranger, and if finances allow, could you do a trial run, get the sitter to come for a few hours only one afternoon (after lockdown of course!) you and DH can have a date or do errands or whatever close by, then you have the reassurance the children are fine and the sitter trustworthy before you go further afield?

As I say I wouldn't go to these convoluted arrangements for an acquaintance or distant relative and would just decline if the circumstances didn't work for me, but for me the wedding of a best friend, someone close enough to be a sister is pretty much a once in a lifetime (or certainly once a decade!) thing so I'd do everything I possibly could to be there...

She might be a close friend OP but she's Also the one who has put you in such an awkward position and will know your situation.
Weddings unfortunately bring out the side of people who forget about friends and their circumstances.

I wouldn't go and to be honest, if you know the bride that well she ought to know that you don't have family on tap to babysit. We don't have ready to hand grandparents either op so we miss out on things or go separately. We've never used babysitters and I certainly wouldn't be leaving very young children with total strangers I'd found on a website.

I'd decline the invite personally.
Weddings are supposed to be enjoyable and if it was going to cause me a headache sorting childcare because only one child was invited I wouldn't bother going.

We don't have anyone from family to have our child, and though we've always had babysitters that is a very different thing to a full day/evening/night (and a very different cost!). So if ds wasn't invited, only one of us went to things, or no one went.
He's 13 now, and a lovely neighbour 'babysits' for us and will take him out for the day for a very reasonable cost, but we still wouldn't do an overnight for an event. His friends don't do sleepovers, so no option for that either

I don't think that you stay put so late or overnight!

If you have a friend that's great, if you have family far away could they make a special weekend trip to you or you take children to them?

Depends how much you want to go!

Use sitters.co.uk or look on childcare.co.uk - there are lots of childminders on there who also do babysitting and are used to babies.

He/she will cry when you leave them, but someone who is experienced will be used to dealing with it. We've left all of ours at some point as my mother in law wasn't capable of looking after the children and when my 3 were little my father was too ill for my mum to help either.

I wouldn't want either my own or someone else's 1 year old at a wedding either.

I think that's too long at 1 with someone who she doesn't know. Think you or dp needs to stay home with her, or speak to your friend