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Original poster

My au pair manhandled my dog.... is it gross misconduct?

211 replies

MissionImplausible · 21/02/2020 13:28

We have a camera in the house to keep an eye on the dog whilst we are at work. It's been off for a week or so but I put it back on today and it caught my au pair kicking our dog to get her out of her bed for a wee and then, when the dog didn't move, grabbing her by the collar to lift her clean off her feet and throwing her outside!!!

The au pair has been with us for over a year and knows about the camera but not that it was working again.

I am disgusted and want her out of my house straight away for what I see as gross misconduct - how can I trust her with my child (who is 10yrs old?) BUT a colleague who is playing devils advocate is suggesting a final warning is more appropriate as she has been with us for so long and we've not experienced this before (although perhaps it happens away from the doggy cam?)

Any opinions?

OP posts:
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Mossyfern · 21/02/2020 14:03

It’s not illegal to video or photograph people in your own home, unless in a place where they expect privacy, such as their own bedroom, a bathroom or toilet. Everywhere else is fair game

In that case, go to the police as well as sacking her.

CanIHaveATiaraPlease · 21/02/2020 13:59

Oh my goodness if someone did that to my dog I’d be fuming. You’d never be able to trust her anyway. Glad you are getting rid.

TheReluctantCountess · 21/02/2020 13:56

You’re doing the right thing. Poor dog.

MuttsNutts · 21/02/2020 13:54

Well done for doing the right thing.

Flowers from ddog.

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/02/2020 13:50

Good I’m glad you’re going to sack her. This behaviour is entirely unacceptable and abusive. I bet your colleague wouldn’t put up with it if it were her ddog or children.

Fatarseflanagan09 · 21/02/2020 13:49

I couldn’t have her in my house she’s a nasty person and has no respect, I detest cruelty, you don’t know what else she’s doing in your absence the sneaky bitch.

Ouchaheadinmybehind · 21/02/2020 13:49

Poor dog Sad

Icanttakethiscrapanymore · 21/02/2020 13:47

Op if she did that to my dog she would be sacked without a seconds thought. Probably with my foot up her arse on the way out !

I wouldn’t ever trust a person that kicks a animal with a child.

AtrociousCircumstance · 21/02/2020 13:47

Why are you letting some random colleague stop you from doing the right thing?

Ok here’s a good way to see what’s best:

If you are more than happy for this person to kick your child, and lift them by the throat and throw them across the room, don’t fire them.

If that doesn’t appeal to you, fire them.

It’s as simple as that and the fact you don’t know that automatically should signpost that self-reflection is required.

Original poster
MissionImplausible · 21/02/2020 13:46

Thanks everyone - it looks like you all agree with me. I appreciate all the quick responses.

I'm still at work but my hubby is home with the dog now. My daughter is with her dad this weekend so I don't have to worry about that. I really do not want someone who can do that to my poor doggy (who is a rescue with a questionable past already) in my house at all in any capacity let alone one of responsibility.

I was worried that I was over reacting - I'm known to do that and so was doubting myself when my colleague questioned me.

I'll deal with it tonight and let you know how we get on... thanks again x

OP posts:
Moomin8 · 21/02/2020 13:44

Get rid of her. Anyone who is cruel to animals is not fit to care for children. And what kind of example is she setting for your dc?

LonginesPrime · 21/02/2020 13:42

a colleague who is playing devils advocate is suggesting a final warning is more appropriate

A warning to act like a civilised human being? This is how she behaves when she thinks no-one's watching.

Do you really want someone who only behaves like a caring person when she knows she's being monitored looking after your child??

Clearly she's not a genuinely caring person as no caring person abuses animals.

dworky · 21/02/2020 13:42

You must sack her. If she can mistreat a dog, she can mistreat a child.

DeepDarkWoods · 21/02/2020 13:41

Get rid of her, I would be so angry

wendywoopywoo222 · 21/02/2020 13:41

I'd get rid asap and report. Poor dog 🙁.
How could you trust her again with your dog or child.

caffeinefix · 21/02/2020 13:41

Get her out NOW! What a despicable woman.

Flufferbum · 21/02/2020 13:40

I would tarnish her OP. Ensure she wasn’t able to work with the vulnerable ever again, what a cunt she is. Im still in disbelief at your colleague.

EmmaC78 · 21/02/2020 13:39

Agree with the others. I'd get rid ASAP. I wouldn't be able to trust her again.

Schmoozer · 21/02/2020 13:39

Wow 😮 poor dog.
A nice person doesn’t kick and chuck dogs
Bin her.

Flufferbum · 21/02/2020 13:38

Is your colleague fucking deranged?! I’d be contacting authorities to ensure she will never be allowed to legally keep an animal! This is fucking disgusting. She probably wouldn’t hurt your child OP because your child can use words! Unlike your defenceless animal. I’d want to throttle the stupid cow!

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 21/02/2020 13:38

Not sure if that is itself illegal too, filming people without their consent when they're not in public?

It’s not illegal to video or photograph people in your own home, unless in a place where they expect privacy, such as their own bedroom, a bathroom or toilet. Everywhere else is fair game.

Paddingtonthebear · 21/02/2020 13:37

She would be gone immediately if she did that in my house. She cannot be trusted. God knows what else she has done. Urgh. Get rid and if she starts protesting tell her she is lucky that you haven’t reported her to the police.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 21/02/2020 13:37

What would you do if it was your child, instead of your vulnerable pet, OP? I bet your dog gets anxious every time she’s near him, even if you don’t see it. How do you know she hasn’t been abusing your poor dog out of view of the camera? What’s the betting she terrorises your dog as an act of revenge for being told off? I’ve banned a relative from my home, because they grabbed one of my guest dogs (dog sitter) and physically threw it off the sofa. He’ll never darken my door again, as cruelty is completely unacceptable.

Mossyfern · 21/02/2020 13:35

Sorry just seen that she knew about the camera but not that it was on. Not sure if that is itself illegal too, filming people without their consent when they're not in public? But definitely fire her regardless!

bodgeitandscarper · 21/02/2020 13:35

I'd get rid pdq. She sounds a nasty piece of work, the dog probably wouldnt get out of its bed if it was fearful of her anyway, which would make me think ill treatment could be the norm with her. Could probably be prosecuted for cruelty for kicking it.
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