Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

My au pair manhandled my dog.... is it gross misconduct?

211 replies

MissionImplausible · 21/02/2020 13:28

We have a camera in the house to keep an eye on the dog whilst we are at work. It's been off for a week or so but I put it back on today and it caught my au pair kicking our dog to get her out of her bed for a wee and then, when the dog didn't move, grabbing her by the collar to lift her clean off her feet and throwing her outside!!!

The au pair has been with us for over a year and knows about the camera but not that it was working again.

I am disgusted and want her out of my house straight away for what I see as gross misconduct - how can I trust her with my child (who is 10yrs old?) BUT a colleague who is playing devils advocate is suggesting a final warning is more appropriate as she has been with us for so long and we've not experienced this before (although perhaps it happens away from the doggy cam?)

Any opinions?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Whynosnowyet · 22/02/2020 19:43

I hope her other job gives she zero contact with anything/one vulnerable...

Chesneyhawkes1 · 22/02/2020 19:42

She'd be gone ASAP

AluminumMonster · 22/02/2020 19:40

You're very kind to give her notice, it'll be interesting to see if she asks for a reference.

DontCallMeShitley · 22/02/2020 19:38

Hepsibar, the dog was in her own bed.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 22/02/2020 19:38

will offer to pay for her to stay in a hostel or b&b for a few days/week so she has time to sort herself out.

Fuck that, she's hurt your dog ffs maybe even abusing it for a while, get rid of the bitchAngry

Ylvamoon · 22/02/2020 19:36

Get rid of her. There will always be a trust issue with this person. What has she done in the past and what is she still doing while you are out.

Hepsibar · 22/02/2020 19:35

Most people who abuse vulnerable adults, children, babies, old folks started their life of abuse, being cruel to animals. How can you trust this person in your home? What a wicked cow.

However, what was the dog doing on her bed. That could be an issue for future au pair who might not want a dog in their room or on their bed.

I think you would be negligent keeping her in your home. Please dismiss her instantly.

lunar1 · 22/02/2020 19:34

You are far kinder than I would have been.

JillAmanda · 22/02/2020 19:30

You’re far nicer than I am. I’d have her bags packed and on the doorstep.

TARSCOUT · 22/02/2020 19:29

Hey OP chances are she most likely has been abusing your kids out of view of the camera after all that's where most animal abusers are aiming to get to. I would be very worried to have her in my home knowing any of this. Far less giving her a couple of days grace.

PatchworkElmer · 22/02/2020 19:23

I think the trust is clearly gone now, so you’re doing the right thing. It is kind of you to find accommodation for her too.

Ohdear3 · 22/02/2020 19:18

Totally agree. Just give her notice. Get rid of her

CatteStreet · 22/02/2020 19:17

I think you're right in not just chucking her out. You need to act more decently than she has, iyswim.

I'm not a dog person at all, but violence to animals is bad news and that incident would worry me deeply.

bernardswatchplease · 22/02/2020 19:07

I'd have her bags outside the door and the lock on. A peep out of her and I'd show the police the evidence

DartmoorDoughnut · 22/02/2020 19:07

Sounds like a very classy way to deal with it

Original poster
MissionImplausible · 22/02/2020 19:05

Hi everyone. Sorry for silence - it’s been a manic weekend so far. The au pair has been at work (she has a part time job on Fridays and Saturdays) so we are planning on talking to her tomorrow so that she has some time to get herself together.

I’m obviously not going to leave her homeless and will offer to pay for her to stay in a hostel or b&b for a few days/week so she has time to sort herself out. I’ve found a few close to her work hoping she can pick up extra shifts and not be left destitute. At the end of the day she is a young lady in a foreign country without any family to fall back on. And like a previous poster said before she has been with us for over a year.

Whilst I am livid at what she has done I can’t just abandon her with zero notice and no where to go. Not with any conscience anyway.

I’ll update you tomorrow once the deed is done.

Thanks for all your support xxx

OP posts:
SimonJT · 22/02/2020 16:02

I would get rid straight away and I would report her for animal cruelty. If she wanted to keep her job so wouldn’t have physically abused an animal.

Aridane · 22/02/2020 15:58

@roseelizabeth

That’s what I had assumed but it would seem that domestic premises are outside the scope of GDPR...

Some users of domestic CCTV systems need to comply with data protection laws. This depends on what their cameras can see.

Data protection laws don’t apply if the cameras cover only the user’s own private property, including their garden. Therefore, visitors caught on these cameras don’t have specific data protection rights in relation to the images captured on those cameras.

ico.org.uk/your-data-matters/domestic-cctv-systems-guidance-for-people-being-filmed/

rumandbiscuits · 22/02/2020 15:30

Like you say there is no way you can trust her with your child or dog again after this! What a terrible thing to do! If I were you I would be taking the evidence you have to the police and reporting her for animal cruelty!!!!

FurrySlipperBoots · 22/02/2020 15:27

Why would it be a police matter?

Because cruelty to animal is against the law. In the same way that shop lifting is a police matter, or speeding in your car, or defacing public property, or assaulting someone.

LondonMrsA · 22/02/2020 15:27

Sack her ass. What a vile girl.

Aridane · 22/02/2020 15:23

Why would it be a police matter?

Fifthtimelucky · 22/02/2020 15:19

I'm not defending her. Of course she should have known better.

Neither am I projecting. We know the au pair is female as the OP has told us so. We don't know how old she is, but the definition of an au pair is a young person from a foreign country.

roseelizabeth · 22/02/2020 15:14

Does the au pair know you're recording? As per GDPR you must display a notice that you are recording. You absolutely must dismiss her but note she could retaliate if she didn't know you were covertly filming. We have a doggy camera and have notices displayed both in and outside as we have a cleaner. I once noticed my dog wasn't there and spotted the door ajar. He somehow made it upstairs and subsequently tumbled back down, breaking his leg. Even the slightest knock can really damage a dog, so kicking him is disgusting.

AmelieTaylor · 22/02/2020 15:06

@Fifthtimelucky. Perhaphs the Au Pair should have thought of that herself before kicking & throwing a dog?

Not to mention you need to stop projecting - you don’t know if she’s a young woman or in a foreign country or anything. What you do know is she’s an adult who should know better than to kick an animal.

@MissionImplausible. So, what did you do? Or us your user name something we should have taken note of?