Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Worried new nanny may be on drugs..

63 replies

Iloveicedtea · 06/02/2020 11:01

Hello,

I am looking for a nanny to help care for my boy. I interviewed a lovely nanny two weeks ago, who in considering giving the job too. But I don't know... when I look at her... I'm worried she takes drugs.

Should I ask for a background check. She does not have an enhanced DBS and I told her that I will need a clear DBS before she can work with my son. Is there anything else I need to check ?

OP posts:
copperoliver · 06/02/2020 14:16

I am a childminder. Please steer clear of this person if you are already unhappy. X

Saladd0dger · 06/02/2020 14:13

I was speaking to a colleague a few weeks ago. They all thought I was a heroin addict when I started. I had anemia and didn’t know at the time. Horrible black eyes, pale horrible skin and manky hair That was falling out we’re just a few of the things. She might be unwell

copperoliver · 06/02/2020 14:11

Ask for enhanced DBS. References from other Families eg. Emails from them so she can't get just anyone to write them.
First aid certificate. Maybe some phone numbers of people to call for a character reference.
If you are having doubts about her already. Why employe her. When you find the right person you will know.
X

Original poster
Iloveicedtea · 06/02/2020 14:06

Anlidiot I'm sorry to hear that.

I would like to reiterate that it wasn't just her skin.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iloveicedtea · 06/02/2020 14:05

for I spoke to the company. They don't provide specific references as they are a huge company and have a number of bases. They have a company policy to not provide specific references and say (if an old manager at her work place were to provide a reference) he would breaking their company policy.

OP posts:
AnIdiotNeedsHelp · 06/02/2020 14:02

I don't know anything about nannies but I have terrible skin
Really bad
It's got fuck all to do with drugs....it's adult acne and I can't take meds for it unlesd I make myself suicidal

I've had people accuse me of being a druggie based on my skin

It fucking depresses me that people make judgement without knowing anything about me.

midwestfornow · 06/02/2020 13:52

My last employer doesn't do references, I think it is very normal.
I would ask my old manager for a personal reference, could she do that?
What drugs do you think she is doing?
I'm not sure her skin would be the first thing to be impacted. Have you noticed anything else?

wheelsfellofflongago · 06/02/2020 13:50

Maybe she needs some fruit and vegetables suggest a nice walk for some fresh air with your son everyday. You could say you'd take her in as a 4 week trial ?

forrandomposts · 06/02/2020 13:50

her previous employment do not give out references but state when she did the job and when it finished.

We only do this when we hated the person but don't want to risk giving a bad reference.... If they were good we give them a proper one. FYI

Original poster
Iloveicedtea · 06/02/2020 13:40

Thank you Jamania and Seperate

I'm going to chase up the references and obtain a full background check before hiring her.

OP posts:
getyourarseoffthequattro · 06/02/2020 13:35

you think your nanny does drugs based on her skin, and what her husband looks like?

right.

jaminia · 06/02/2020 13:32

It's very important to background check her first before employing her. there are news recently about abusive nannies and no parent would want that to happen in their child. If you feel something is not right, then consider another applicant, eitherway, it is best to have her medically checked.

separatebeds · 06/02/2020 13:31

she sounds like a NO!. Move on and find someone else.

SwishSwishSheesh · 06/02/2020 13:28

What kind of drugs are we talking? Uppers? Downers? Class A's? Weed? What do you reckon?

Do you even know much about drugs or what different drug users look like? Why do you think her husband is a druggie? Does he have tattoos or something?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 06/02/2020 13:27

@Drabarni to be fair, Nanny McPhee's skin was pretty bad...

Elbeagle · 06/02/2020 13:25

What exactly was wrong with her skin?

dressingfortv · 06/02/2020 13:23

You're going to let someone with no reference look after your kid?!! Absolutely ridiculous.

partysong · 06/02/2020 13:12

So don't employ her? What are you asking of us? We just can't tell you

Original poster
Iloveicedtea · 06/02/2020 12:49

Drabarni Thanks your right. Lack of experiences does not bother me- as you can be very experienced and be shit. My only worry is the references.

I will reiterate, it wasn't just her skin, it was other things but I cannot my finger on it. Then when I saw the pic of her husband-then when I became even more worried.

OP posts:
Drabarni · 06/02/2020 12:37

I wouldn't employ somebody whose very new to the job, and unable to gain references.
I'm surprised you ask, tbh. It's your precious child, I'd want Nanny mcPhee.
As for thinking she takes drugs because you don't like her skin is bordering on unhinged.

Original poster
Iloveicedtea · 06/02/2020 12:31

rebecca it was just one of those things I notice, there were other things. I can't explain. I'm sorry if it seems I'm a bit paranoid, but I came on here to ask for advice. My sons safety comes up high on my list.

nannynick yes, at first impression. But when I spoke to her, I had this gut instinct that could she be the one. I don't know. Maybe I should move on. I have spoken directly to the company she used to work and again they clarified what she said, they are unable to give a reference... it's their policy.

OP posts:
rebecca102 · 06/02/2020 12:23

It's absolutely your right to find out as much about her as possible but I think you being quiet nasty to assume she is a drug user based on her SKIN! Bloody hell, the poor woman. If you have doubts then move onto the next applicant.

nannynick · 06/02/2020 12:16

she treated it like a job
It is a job. So surely it should be treated as a job.

didn't seem to care for my son
That is a problem but is nothing to do with someone viewing the work as a job or not.

when I first saw her, I was a bit... oh
This applicant may be the best of bunch so far but trust your instincts.

HollowTalk · 06/02/2020 12:15

I think experience does matter, OP. Excellent references (backed up with a phone call) also matter. If you have any doubt whatsoever about this woman you'd be crazy to take her on. Go through a reliable agency instead.

Original poster
Iloveicedtea · 06/02/2020 12:10

Fuzzy Experience of someone being a nanny does not really matter to me. I had a nanny before who had lots of experience but she treated it like a job and didn't seem to care for my son.

I've interviewed lots of potential candidates and she was the best. But when I first saw her, I was a bit... oh and then she showed me a picture of her husband.. and the lack of not obtaining a reference is worrying me.

I don't know if I'm being extra cautious because I've always took on nannies who have been recommended through friends or through an agency. This is the first time in employed a nanny through an online platform.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread