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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

If a mindee ruined your cot and it was unusable, what would you do?

186 replies

QueenEagle · 25/08/2007 12:06

2.5 year old ds is put in a travel cot for his afternoon nap. The other day he pulled off his pull up full of poo and covered the cot in it, getting it in the mesh and on the fabric. Minder says it is impossible to clean therefore unusable.

She wants me to replace it and says she has no insurance to cover such a loss.

Am I liable??????

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
nappyaddict · 28/08/2007 00:21

how can a childminder not do sick??

how come she wanted your ds3 to be in pull ups?

NannyL · 27/08/2007 23:45

yes

it is now clean and therefore perctly usable...

No reason at all why she should not accept it.

The fact that you had to do is a bit contentiouse but its already been debated to death on here!

(IMO as a childminder its her job, but hey that issue has now moved to the past)

QueenEagle · 27/08/2007 21:49

I CAN understand it in a way - I was a foster carer for 11 years and I really really hated other kids' poo!! I didn't mind if they were not potty trained fully as you kind of expect it but I really hated kids who were 7 and 8 and smeared/hid poo in their romms. But then again a lot of the kids I had did have severe emotional problems which is why I guess I am a bit more laid back about poo than most people.

Anyway, am I right in thinking she should accept the cot back now I have scrubbed it clean?

OP posts:
Katymac · 27/08/2007 21:14

Psst - think she might be in the wrong job if she doesn't 'do' poo

Mind you I know a minder who doesn't 'do' sick.......I think it's very odd (not being frightened of sick.....but childminding if you are)

QueenEagle · 27/08/2007 21:10

Blimey, this seems to have got a bit out of control on this thread!

Ok, I have had the cot out in the garden, scrubbed it with abio washing powder and a scrubbing brush and it has comes up a treat. Now, I am wondering why on earth it was beyond her to do this herself? It took me 15 minutes tops.

ds4 has weed all over her carpet before on at least 2 occasions - she has not asked me to replace that. He has also broken a couple of cars too, although I have offered to pay for the broken items, she has always refused.

Maybe she is just a bit funny about poo. Come to think of it, she has always been a bit funny about poo related things. I can remember her asking that SN ds3 be put in pull ups, I refused and talked about strategies to avoid him having to be put in them and she worked with me quite successfully.

Anyway the cot is clean and I shall take it back tomorrow and give it back to her. (She had originally given it to dh to take to the tip and asked for a replacement with no attempt to even try to clean it herself).

OP posts:
Aitch · 27/08/2007 13:01

Stop!

belgo · 27/08/2007 09:50

Aitch - it went into my eye as well and that's very painful[gross]

Aitch · 26/08/2007 23:41
NannyL · 26/08/2007 23:37

I too have had a 18 month old projectile vomit into my mouth

its all part of the job! IMO

Tinker · 26/08/2007 23:13

Oh, I've had my mouth puked into as well

Aitch · 26/08/2007 22:58

my face is green but i'm not envious of your DH, gess.

gess · 26/08/2007 22:54

you ok aitch?

JodieG1 · 26/08/2007 22:52

Just wanted to add that neither my dd or ds1 were potty trained before they were 3 although I did try before then but when a child cries and screams and gets distressed because they don't want pants on then I take that as a sign that they're not ready. It's not a fact that all children should be potty trained before they're 2 and actually I think it's too soon. It's nothing to do with being lazy either it's to do with understanding when a child is really ready and able to communicate their needs successfully and appropriately. Personally I think if it takes longer than a week then the child isn't ready, when people are trying for months on end then it's clear the child isn't really ready. What's the rush anyway as they all end up the same in a few years? My children couldn't even talk well at 18 months so I'm amazed that other of that age can be potty trained. I certainly don't think it's the norm or should be expected.

We had projectile vomiting episodes with the dc's and I'm not good with so poor dh had to sort it out. It was all over the wall, door, carpet, bed etc and then the other dc got the same bug and did the same. I did help him when they were both sick though but I was nearly sick myself and I think I only managed it as I'd had a wine or 2 at the time and wasn't as bothered.

Aitch · 26/08/2007 22:45

Oh. My. Fucking. Christ. [dry boak]

gess · 26/08/2007 22:34

ha ha belgo. Dh still shudders at the memory of the time ds1 puked straight into his mouth (he caught the bug unsurprisingly).

Had another thought- do you have a travel cot yourself? Could you give her yours and take the pooey one, then clean it up. If its ongoing it might be worth providing your own for him to sleep in so that you don't have to worry about it happening again. I think someone else might have suggested that lower down.

ThePrisoner · 26/08/2007 22:10

If I was in this situation (as a childminder myself), there is no way I would expect a parent to pay to replace any broken or damaged items. As others have already said, we have insurance to claim, and it is not a parent's fault if the excess is too much. The 10% wear and tear we can claim on expenses is also expected to cover this sort of thing.

The children I mind have gradually trashed all sorts of furniture and toys (and my back, but that's another issue!!), but it really is part and parcel of the job.

The children I have minded over the years are certainly not monsters, but I have playdough and blu-tak in my carpet, have had my minibus door dented and paintwork scratched, have had curtain rails pulled down, have had door handles broken, have very few springs left in my settees, have had plants and bushes destroyed in the garden, have had clothes torn and even had to take the cat to the very-expensive-vet with a broken toe (accidentally shut in door by child), and so on. Things happen when small children are around!

I really don't have an answer on how to deal with this problem, as I don't think the CM should have asked you to replace the cot in the first place.

Idreamofdaleks · 26/08/2007 20:45

Offer to clean it yourself?

noonar · 26/08/2007 20:44

i do see your point, belgo, but feel that its not quite the same. and i do sympathise with you, QE, but just feel that its a bit unfair for the CM to be out of pocket as a result of QE's ds going through a 'phase'.

i can see that i'm in a minority, but i would offer to replace it, personally. not worth cleaning, imo. could you really do it that thoroughly? my travel cot has fabric permanently attached to a solid base. you could never rinse it thoroughly. if you had a new baby, would you really want your baby to sleep in that??

belgo · 26/08/2007 20:42

gess - yes the radiator! Thankfully we have no carpets in the house.

belgo · 26/08/2007 20:41

my dd1 projectile vomited into my ear once, god knows how she managed that. It gave me my first ever ear infection, that lasted for about 4 weeks.

Kids are messy!

I could never be a child minder though. I would hate having to wipe other children's snotty noses.

gess · 26/08/2007 20:39

Behind the radiator usually belgo

the worst case of missing bodily fluids we had was last time ds1 was sick. Very odd night. DS2 appeared aghout 4am saying his blankets had fallen off, I couldn't be bothered to argue with him so told him to get into bed with me. about 7uam ds1 came in and threw up everywhere- I sent dh to his room and it was covered, so cleaned and scrubbed. At bedtime realised that ds2's duvet hadn't fallen off it had disappeared. Eventually found it on ds1's cabin bed (he never sleeps there) covered in vom (all over the walls up there as well). He'd obviously been sick in his bed then gone up to steal ds2's duvet whilst ds2 was asleep then been sick on that. Thank god he didn't flich ds3's duvet as well.

nannynick · 26/08/2007 20:37

Poo, Vomit, Blood are all part of the job. Don't know why we do it
For me, it seems to be my car that gets it - sick over the car seats!

This term I am expecting to be smelling of stale milk a lot - as have a 4 month old baby to care for, who I expect will throw up over me at some point!

gess · 26/08/2007 20:36

when ds1 broke the CM's washing machine I think/hope I did offer to pay, but she said that was what insurance was for. I think her handy hubby fixed it. I know some lovely people though, when ds1 threw my friend's mobile in a stream she wouldn't let me buy her another one (thank god reallly he costs us enough ..... )

If I was the OP I would be a bit put out because I wasn't in a position (not being there) to have stopped it happening.

belgo · 26/08/2007 20:33

gess - there's always the bit that you can smell but just cannot find anywhere until about 6 months later

Heated · 26/08/2007 20:32

If this had happened at nursery I would be mortified & apologetic but I would not be expected to replace the item. Just as I wouldn't expect to pay for the carpets to be cleaned of play dough or be charged for toys if they were damaged. The fees I pay cover this & I'm not sure how this would differ with a cm.
If this were common practice, do you not think we'd all be paying insurance to cover this? Children are mucky creatures, it's part and parcel of the job, whether in a home or nursery.
I would also be concerned that having paid for the cot, what else would she want remuneration for, such as furniture cleaning? I'm not saying that she is money grabbing, but there has been some blurring of where responsibilities lie.