Hi - I am not sure if I am being mean/unreasonable but our new au pair is driving me mad. He has just finished school and this is the first time he has lived away from home. His profile was great and he made a big effort with it - he has experience working at summer camps for kids and lots of babysitting and wants to improve his English before starting university.
He is nice but always around - he has not left the house in two weeks other than once to join a gym. I have made a really detailed friendly 'welcome' handbook with nearest cafes, cinemas (cheap and nicer ones!), bars, gyms, shops, train station, bus routes and given him numbers for local au pairs who are sociable. We are also paying him top whack (max possible before we need to pay tax) so he can afford to go out.
He plays piano (badly) all the time, even when I am working from home and seems really needy. He asked me for to buy tissues for him last night (interrupted me when trying to chill in peace after last child had gone to bed at 10 pm to) as he has a cold (but behaves as if it is very serious), asks me for different bowls for his food, complains about our pans (which are fine...) and expects to come out each time I have said I'm taking the children out or my parents out for a meal. We took him to the pub, happily, last weekend for dinner on Saturday, I just don't want to keep paying for meals out for him every time we want to go out. He also asks me what is for lunch/supper every day.
I've told him he can put whatever he wants in the virtual shopping basket (we have two shops delivered a week) plus there is a kitty he can help himself to for any food he likes - I've told him where the local sainsbury is.
I've also found some amazing local English lessons in a cool cafe once a week but he seems reluctant to go - I said it was a good way to meet local young people, which he seems to want to do.
I paid for our current au pair (going home in a week) and him to go on the London Eye on Tues as it was sunny plus for lunch out at the south bank etc (and paid them both for the time as he had nothing to do otherwise and I thought it would be good to get him out of the house - plus he wants to shadow her). I asked him how his day was when he got home and he said 'long'. They left the house at 10 am and we're back by 3 and he had one well-behaved 4 year old to look after between them. I know the current au pair (leaving in a week) will have done all the looking after.
He also keeps grabbing and tickling my 4 year old even though she clearly doesn't like it. She is quite physical and affectionate but he's like an overbearing old person with no social empathy.
We've had two au pairs before. One was brilliant, the other a bit irritating at times but totally fine!
He WhatsApps me all the time too, asking when I will be back.
Do I try to talk to him or just accept there is too much to try to address?? Any ideas would be much appreciated. Thank you... I know I am probably being a cow but he is driving me mad...