Am I being overly anxious about hazards at CM’s house?

You can not pick up every possible choking hazard from a garden unless its wall to wall paving, leaves stones twigs flowers and items dropped by birds could all be a hazard. Before allowing children out...and often in the set up before start of day when early parents are knocking on the door annoyed your not letting them in. Is the time for safety checks in and out....this includes knowing conkers are on the ground but not clearing them. Once you know what's there you are aware to observe and stop children mouthing any object innod out but you allow them to touch....many nurseries have indoor tough trays full of conkers bottle tops and other similar items.....the job is to teach children including risk management.
Stair gates are age guided by manufactures for under 2s becouse there is a potential risk of harm for older children so they should be encouraged to use stairs safely and rules/boundaries just like not climbing on tables in place.
Children must be in sight or hearing anx usually both at all times. So loan childminder comes in children come in. Most will have a safe area for when they need to be out of sight. So a room with no obvious hazards.

@homealoneagain1Think you need to read up about deaths and accidents in childcare...there are many examples of choking and hangings as well as escapes and injury in these nursery settings where you say there are more eyes to prevent it.
The eyes often are assuming others will, not thinking ahead or called to do other tasks. When there is 1 of you you know what's out who's playing where, what each need and capability is and your mortgage and existence depends on keeping them safe if your a 17 year old apprentice on £3 or so an hour possibly choosing that path rather than staying on at school to 18 other things occupy your mind.

Well I think I'm at the other end of the spectrum to you, but my cm never had a stairgate at all, ever. The children weren't allowed upstairs, and learnt that rule very quickly, so they didn't bother trying (I found it unusual, but it really did work, she gently but firmly moved them away from the stairs whenever they got too close).

I do understand your worry about the stairgate though. The pine cones and conkers is not a reasonable request though, that's taking things to extremes. And I would expect a 2yo to be sufficiently supervised that garden debris wouldn't be a choking hazard as they would just need to be reminded every so often not to put things in their mouths.

I think it's a bit unfair to have expected the childminder to have stepped in an stopped your DD touching the conkers - firstly, because it seems fine for a 2 year old to play with conkers with two adults watching! And secondly because you were right there.

Similarly with the stairs, the CM probably just doesn't allow children to play on/up the stairs. While you were there in the house, you were the one that knew whether or not your DD was likely to go up the stairs or wasn't able to manage stairs safely - I wouldn't have expected the CM to run after her if you didn't.

I think you are being overly anxious but I think you realise that now.

I also understand what it's like to suffer with Anxiety. It's shit, it's relentless and extremely heavy to carry round. It obscures your view on what is normal and what isn't but this is where you have to listen and trust your Cm. No childcare professional would risk a child choking ever. It would be highly unusual if seven possible for a 2 year old to want to eat a pine cone, conker- possibly. Kids do some random things.

All you can do is mention it nicely - not in a 'demand' type of way and say your dd has a habit of putting things in her mouth so please can she be extra alert around the confers garden. The gate is a non issue as pp have explained. Kids need to learn, Ofsted like to see children involved in risky play as long as it's been assessed and children are learning from it.

When parents are in a Cm setting, especially for a settling in session I'd expect the parent to be in charge of their child. If you weren't watching her I'd never assume you expected me to do it while you're there.

My dc went to a nursery at that age that had a large garden and they also went weekly to forest school.
If the CM is able to give your dc confidence about exploring the natural world and physical challenges like stairs this has to be a positive.
If your anxiety is getting in the way of your dc being able to have some experiences it makes perfect sense to engage someone else to do that for you. You don't have to provide everything directly yourself.

My DD’s both started at a local ‘pre school’ on their second birthday. It has a large woodland area with free flow play in/out. I believe the staff/child ratio is approx 1:8 at that age? Obviously there was always a staff member outside with them, but in that scenario children would obviously have been picking up things like acorns/conkers and playing with them. To be honest the woodland area was one of the reasons I chose that particular setting.

Honestly, I think you're being ott.

I'd be surprised if a 2yo couldn't use stairs properly tbh and at that age wouldn't really be as interested in climbing them for the sake of it as a mobile baby for instance.

The conkers are a non issue assuming child minder is out in garden with the children.

If you dont feel comfortable change childminder or send her to a nursery.

Iam really sorry but as I childminder I do not have a stair gate all my little ones know the rules no climbing and they don’t. I do teach them the safe way to go up and downstairs as part of my role in teaching them life skills. I will never go out and buy a stair gate because a parent has demand it, if they don’t like it they can go else where. I also would not be sweeping up pine cones and confers either the kids have great fun collecting and playing with them. Too be honest it sounds like your trust has already gone with this childminder and that’s no way of starting a professional relationship with her, maybe a nursery would suit you better more people watching your little one and no stairs to worry about.

Childminders are not required to have stair gates so you are unreasonable to complain about that. And you are definitely unreasonable to complain about conkers and pine cones - most childminders use these items in their settings.

I'm with you OP on the conkers and acorns. It'd be a concern for me too.

Ember12 I did stop her of course, and told her not to play with the conkers. I waited a beat each time to give CM the chance to step in (as I hoped she would to demonstrate her minding skills), but she didn’t

I think in that situation it was unfair to expect the CM to step in and his has given you a skewed idea of how involved she would be without you there.

A first meeting or settling in session isn’t the time for a CM to stamp their authority. They’ll have been letting the child get familiar with surroundings and, as you found out, talking to you to find out more about your child and your requirements.

For me, when a parent is present I’m no longer in charge of the child - I’m ‘in loco parentis’ when the parent isn’t there, but would step aside when they are, presuming they will offer any discipline/guidance they see fit.

I had one child who was terrible for their mum, would regularly hide and refuse to put on their shoes when it was time to leave etc. I would spend up to 20 minutes smiling politely and saying come on now, but because the parent wasn’t very forceful the child completely took the piss.

I didn’t feel able to be stern with the child when their own parent wasn’t, so we played this game every evening at home time. When it was just me in charge I would have said “stop messing about, it’s time to get ready to go out. Shoes on now.” and disengaged, but I can’t be like that in front of a parent who thinks the hiding game is adorable, as by that point it’s their time they’re wasting too, so it’s up to them to chivvy the child along.

In your situation I would have presumed that if the parent is comfortable with the child wandering off, they know that they won’t try the stairs, or that if they do they can manage it.

I think that your anxiety has lead you to believe that confers and pine cones are a greater risk than they actually are. Have you heard about forest nursery schools, there are quite a few near me, in fact one fully open air nursery has recently opened a few miles away with a staff ratio of 3 staff to 15 toddlers ( I agree that they are aged 3 and up but the diameter of their windpipes would be similar to 2 year olds). Locally there are also pond dipping, moth catching, mud pie making activities that 2 year olds can go to all in wooded areas.
I’m pretty sure that they have fully risk assessed natural things like pine cones lying around on the forest ( usually a small wood) floor and concluded that the benefits of being out in the fresh air running around in nature out weigh any risks.
If professional education assessors think it’s okay does that put your mind at a little more ease?

Your kid isn’t going to choke on a conker!
You have made stairs more of a hazard by not teaching her to use the properly. My 1 year old can go up and down (slides down on her front) with no issues.

Just to clarify that childminders are required to carry out risk assessments, however there is no requirement for these to be written down. As long as she can explain what she has assessed and any actions then she is being the requirements of her registration.

I don’t have stairgates at all: I think they are dangerous. I’ve heard of too many accidents where people have fallen downstairs and crashed into them and I know of a childminder who slipped on the stairs and jammed her knee between the bars. I’d rather teach children how to navigate stairs safely, or to keep them away altogether.

Likewise, the pinecones and conkers wouldn’t worry me either. Your childminder is required to undertake first aid training and that will include choking. It’s unlikely that your DD would choke on pinecones, but the childminder will know exactly what to do if this were to happen.

I do think you’re over-anxious, but I fully understand why you should be. It’s difficult enough leaving your child in childcare without the additional stress of anxiety. You are not the most extreme parent I’ve know by a long chalk!
I think, as you build up your relationship with your childminder, you’ll trust her and relax.

Once I'm present I'm the parent so I wouldn't expect the cm to be the lead carer. My dc are now older and when I collect cm chats to me for a minute or two and dc often ask me for my car keys and go and get in the car (which is down the path and out of sight). I'm happy that it's safe and I know my dc but I wouldn't expect cm to allow them that freedom when I'm not there.

I would keep an eye on stairs but the cookers are fine. Dc shouldn't be outside unsupervised at that age! To be honest, my dc used to try to swing on the stair gate at the top of the stairs and I was so worried they'd come crashing down the stairs I ended up removing them but it depends on the house layout and the dc. Maybe she puts it on when she's going to be out of sight.

OP- I say this gently, but this really stood out to my from your previous post “my DD is not the surest on her feet, she was quite slow to crawl and walk and is quite accident prone. I think it will be nearer to 3yrs for her to master stairs too.”

Do you think your cautiousness might rub off on her and be holding her back? If she sensed that you are very nervous or risk averse, she will pick up on it and become nervous herself. All toddlers have tumbles and bumps when they are learning and exploring- it’s all part of the process and not, in my view, something they should be shielded from.

I understand the stairs thing. We live in a bungalow. Both grandparents do too. Our Community Centre and Library were both single storey buildings. Shopping centre has escalators and lifts. When my dc were younger we didn't spend much time around stairs at all.
I remember a holiday we had in a hotel when dd2 was 2. She was obsessed with the stairs. She would have been happy spending the entire holiday going up and down.

I would have exactly the same worries OP - not unreasonable at all. I find some of these replies very odd! However this is one of the reasons I chose a nursery so that there was more than one pair of eyes.

It’s hard to let go and trust others with our children and it can be hard to be objective. In my opinion, you are expecting too much of the CM but I don’t think it’s wrong to feel anxious, if that makes sense.