Childcare shock

I haven’t read the whole thread.
A childminder is usually cheaper than a nursery but your holidays may have to fit in with their holidays, what would you do if they are off sick, would you both prefer your child to have one other carer than yourselves or would you prefer a nursery environment with multiple other carers but no problem with childcare if carer ill and not tied to choose holidays to fit with childminder etc. Lots to consider.
No getting around it, it is expensive but costs reduce as child gets older and eligibility for reduced prices kicks in due to age and by this time wages will have gone up. Could one of you work part time or work compressed hours in say 4 days as childcare is usually paid for from 8-6 where we are even if you drop off slightly later or pick up earlier. Or could one or both of you work from at home?
Top tip when choosing schools make sure your choice of school also has compatible wraparound childcare. As that is something else to think about which will be here before you know it.

@MyOtherProfile i never said they do. I just listed everything we did before having a child to help with cost of childcare. Some people will have family who will help with 1 or 2 afternoons of childcare, like i do, and others won't.

Not everyone has family who would be in a position to help for free with childcare even if they loved close by, @Lazypuppy

We made sure we lived near family before having children as they help for free.

I got a job with an onsite nursery that is hugely discounted.

I changed careers to ensure i got a good maternity package of full pay, plus felxibility when i returned after 9 months. I also waited until i had gone to next level up so my salary was higher and would help to cover increased costs.

Tax free childcare.

Go for a childminder - in my area they are nearly half the cost of a nursery and The only way we could afford it

How is it a sexist dig? I pay children from my wage and my partner pays mortgage / bills? And he works out the same...

@Surfskatefamily, sorry if I misinterpreted you, you’re right, it’s easy to misread tone. I agree with you, it’s common in my area for most people to go back to work. I didn’t mind the questioning as by that point I’d decided I was so I could just say “when she’s 10 months” and the conversation was over. Probably would have been different if I’d decided not to go back. I did speak to a few people at work who were surprised I’d come back and I did find myself trying to justify myself which was silly I was happy with my choice. It’s a shame people are judgemental whatever you decide to do. You can’t win! I suppose it’s human nature to judge others by our own lives though.

Childcare is very expensive.
I never had any intention of working while I had small children so it wasn't something we considered but as an exercise we worked out how it would effect our income.
The following figures are approx (I can't remember exact figures) but close enough
DH pick up - £1200ish
Me pick up- £905
Nursery - £810
My Car (insurance +petrol) - £39 +£80 =£119
Total income : £2105
Total unnecessary expenditure : £929

Whichever way you look at that it made no sense for me to work even I had wanted to. I went back when number 2 started reception (and my mum retired so I could do that after school care was still prohibitive )

Shop around. The cost of nurseries really varies from nursery to nursery.

I even know some who moved back near their parents to start families because they couldn't afford childcare

We weighed up the amount that would go in the family pot from me working vs the amount that would be paid out of the family pot for childcare. We’d be paying out more than would be going in, even once you factor in benefits (we aren’t entitled to any, not even child benefit, and not married tax allowance either because you’re not eligible if the spouse is a higher rate tax payer).

A lot of people find that childcare exceeds earnings. You have to be earning way above average salary to pay childcare and still make a profit. Some suck it up and work at a loss for a few years in order to keep their career ticking over. Some (like me) won’t benefit from doing that so they stay at home. Without exception all of the lower earners I know who work, are only able to do so because they have free family childcare.

@ktcluck I didn't mean either of if these to come accross judgemental. I think written word can do that whereas if I'd have said it it wouldn't iyswim.

Only that within my area iv found that almost a soon as you have a baby people start "oh when are you going back" etc etc and it's assumed that everyone is. I felt really pressurised but turned out not the right thing for us personally.

I definitely agree with pp that op should go on entitled to website. They can work out what support they'll be able to get in various scenarios. Weigh up the financial impact and decide from there

For some families tax credits pay for quite a lot of your childcare costs. It depends on income. You need to assess this first - if tax credits then that's more favourable than tax free childcare

*obviously benefited
*uneven pensions

One couple I knew ended up job sharing one job, so one of them worked half the week (think it was actually 3 days one week and 2 days the next). It meant that there was always a parent to look after the child, even when ill. Both parents were on an even footing in the workplace. I think that they actually handed over at home - which has some boundary issues I guess but often spouses ask how the day went, and obvious benefited the employer.

They saved over the situation if one of them had become a SAHP because they could both use all of their tax allowance (which is how cutting down both partners to 4 days a week also works) so a greater proportion of their take home pay was untaxed. This would be particularly beneficial if both are higher rate tax payers. Say if the overall salary was £60000, one person would have take home pay of £43399, two people earning £30000 each would take home a combined income of £47874 - a difference of nearly £5000. That is before you consider that they also remained eligible for child benefit.

It also meant that once childcare was less of a pinch point they had both developed their skills to a similar point to then both go for promotion. Although the tax example doesn't include pension if they both contribute to a pension then you avoid the issue of in even pensions in the future.

They did have the benefit of working for a stable employer (civil service), but even if their job had been made redundant at least they would both be in a good position to find another job compared to a scenario where there was one salary earner and they were made redundant.

Condemned hours can help but only in the position where the nursery opening hours permit it - if nursery only open 8-6 then it is hard to do a condensed week (unless other partner is able to do all drop offs and pick ups), also some nurseries give a discount for full time hours so the saving is minimal, plus if commuting by train 4 tickets can be a similar cost to a season ticket.

We managed it by me working in a flexible professional role which was not 9-5, so I would work evenings and weekends, moving over and increasing hours to school hours and weekends as the children started school. It is hard to find such a flexible situation and you then comprise on family time. Ultimately parenthood is a compromise, you just need to find the solution which works for you.

Think about using a registered childminder instead of a nursery. Most are cheaper than nursery and provide a home base childcare setting, registered by ofsted and follow the Early Years Foundation Stage the same as any other childcare setting. The children are in a family setting with children off all ages and most likely will stay in the same environment til they leave primary school, where as in a nursery the child will change rooms several times as they get older. Look at pacey.org.uk the childcare professional website for more info

@AngelasAshes do you know how you go about arranging NI contributions

Childcare is expensive.
If one chooses to be a SAHP, they will get full NIC credit towards state pension until child turns 12. So you would only have to fund a private pension in their name to keep things equitable. (Not suggesting stay at home until age 12, that’s just the rules)
Also, if SAHP earns no income, they can transfer their tax free personal allowance to the working partner (married couple allowance) so working partner will have higher take home pay.

The hit to earning power is minimised & equal if partners take turns (you said you both earn average salaries). Taking 18mos off each will get you to age 3 when 30hrs nursery kicks in. A friend did this and was very happy that they both got to develop that close bond with their son by having the opportunity to be there for a lot of firsts.

@Yabbers that's why I'm so happy second children are free! We bought everything for the first and that means all others will be free for the first couple of years!

Registered Childminders are a lot cheaper than a nursery, around £4 an hour and can provide a more homey environment.
You may be entitled to child tax credits.

You could both go part time and share the childcare then use paid childcare as well.
One of you being a SAHP is just one option. There are others - I know one couple who split equally and that’s why it’s important to challenge the idea that childcare comes out of one parent’s (always the Mum) salary.

but we would be certainly losing money each month with these figures.

This is a strange comment. Surely you knew that having a child would mean less disposable income than being childfree? of course you will be losing money. Children don’t come with anything they need, it all needs paid for, including childcare- whether that is done by a parent (loss of income) or a childcare setting. Im amazed anyone can get to the point of having a child on the way and only now realise it will cost them money.

The problem is the idea that it's always better to work is so ingrained it can be a bit of a shock to discover there are times when it isn't. I remember after uni thinking I'd be able to move out of my parents home once I had a job and it was a real shocker to discover that my salary wouldn't stretch to private renting.

but we would be certainly losing money each month with these figures.

Isn’t it a bit late to decide you can’t afford to have a child?

Definitely no SAHM bashing from me. As I said, I considered it for myself and admire those that do it. Your opinion as absolutely valid and I agreed that OP should consider it. I just felt your comment “I don’t understand the reluctance to stay at home” was a little judgemental, oversimplified and, dare I say it, heading into ‘working mum bashing’ territory. Just like your “better to be frugal and care for lil guy” comment could be construed too.

Apologies if it was my post that offended you (although I suggest you’re over sensitive it reading it wrongly if it was). I don’t want to get into a SAHM vs working mum debate. These threads always go that way, it isn’t helpful to the OP, and I really don’t care what other families do in terms of childcare as long as it works for them.