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Original poster

Car seat safety (and other safety concerns)

31 replies

FiveYearsOlder · 28/03/2019 00:03

My daughter would kick off massively if I picked her up and I couldn't even get her in the car seat despite many tricks. If I did she managed to do a Houdini and escape.

(My concerns on WTF to do when you can't reason with a 22 month old is for another time...)

Anyway, they offered to drop her off. I gratefully accepted but said I wanted her extended rear facing and even bought them a car seat that can be taken in and out.

They also do pre-school drop offs and so the car seat can't always stay in. They said they were fine with taking it in and out.

Anyway, her partner (who does the school runs) once said, "Oh the car seat doesn't fit in the minibus as there's no IsoFix". However, it dawned on me after that he'd changed his minibus a week before. I therefore messaged to say I would pick her up going forwards. However, it turns out there is an IsoFix (Googled the model), so obviously too much hassle (understandable but just tell me).

I then discovered that she'd been to a farm on the half-term break, despite me having said about my ERF concerns. They didn't hide it. It was in BabyDays, so maybe they didn't think about it.

My daughter than started her Houdini tricks in the morning too. We decided the risk was less of they picked her up too, as she's writhing that badly her neck would probably be cut the second we set off

She does the same in the pram.

Today I noticed that the car seat she was in didn't even have the head protection in the right place e. If she'd be in an accident she may as well be in a seatbelt.

I could raise this and offer to fit another car seat that can also turn for the older kids

However, my other big concern is the lies/not keeping me informed of that trip and general ignorance towards safety issues. I've spoken to another parent who said they see the gate unlocked sometimes. I also caught her out once on a nap issue - her partner let slip she'd not slept but BabyDays was updated with her sleep time.

There's a massive waiting period for childminders and nurseries (one that is walkable has availability but there is limited outdoor space). My preferred choice by a long shot doesn't have availability until July.

I therefore need a solution for the meantime.

I can tell she genuinely cares for her and even her partner said she is smitten. Her daughter has taken a real shine to her too.

However, I worry that even if I miraculously managed to get her to go in the car seat for us (or walk/go in the pram 25 mins and still get to work or home) then she may take her out without telling me.

Any advice on what you would do? I obviously intend to have a serious chat but they're under no obligation with the lifts. They are though on day trips. She could just tell me what I want to hear but I've got no real viable option unless I uproot my daughter twice (and she's very sensitive).

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Noonooyou · 28/03/2019 11:29

smoggle the op didn't say they lied about the farm?

Smoggle · 28/03/2019 09:53

The childminder didn't lie to you about the day trip, it was on Baby's Days.

The nap thing is incredibly petty, it could easily have just been a miscommunication.

I can't believe they are doing pick ups and drop offs because you won't strap your own child in!

If the rear facing thing is important to you then you need to sit down and have an adult chat about it - not start go ogling to prove them wrong Hmm. How about you drive your child to them and then fit the seat in their car?

Lindy2 · 28/03/2019 07:37

Do you not want your daughter going out anywhere with the childminder? All childminders I know do trips out - they are expected to and the other parents using their services would expect this too.
Perhaps a nanny would be better for you. A nanny would be your employee so you can mutually discuss what you want and don't want.
The childminder runs a business that you and other families sign up to so you can't really dictate what seats they use, where they go etc.

FlibbertyGiblets · 28/03/2019 07:35

Picking up from/taking to home is potentially troublesome as they could be classed as acting as a taxi service. Work on folding your child techniques per supernanny.

Not sure about insisting on erf.

Sirzy · 28/03/2019 07:35

Would a nanny be an option? You seem to expect s lot from a childminder who don’t forget is also looking after other children.

I am very much an ERF fan but you also have to be realistic as to what you can ask of a childminder. As long as they are using a legally appopriate seat you can’t really add much more.

You can’t expect them not to go on trips at half term.

The sleep thing could be as simple as thinking she had dropped off so updating the app when she had a chance and then her waking up in seconds like every toddler I have met has done at times!

Noonooyou · 28/03/2019 07:29

Okay so I'm a nanny who completely believes in ERF. Many of the families I work for end up turning their children forward facing before I do. One thing I always do though, is check that their parents are happy with the car seats I am using and are happy with how I've fitted them etc... I like to keep clued up with the latest car seat safety advice so I wouldn't be turning a baby forward facing at 12 months for example.

However, I'm not sure how it stands with a childminder? You are using their business? And I guess so long as they are legally using the correct car seats and they are fitted properly then I'm not sure what you can do?
Will your child go in a buggy for them? I wouldn't normally recommend this but can your daughter watch some nursery rhymes or something on your phone to get her a bit happier in the buggy? Then ease her off it. Or snacks?

The other issue, the lying is not ok. Sometimes kids refuse to nap, I always always try my hardest but it's something you can't force. So they should be transparent with that and tell you. Who knows what else they've lied about?